allie11994
02-28-2012, 11:31 AM
I have always felt different. From the moment I was born, my brain constantly reassured me that, no matter who I was surrounded with, I didn’t belong. I remember walking the halls of elementary school in 3rd grade. I can still hear myself thinking, as each person passed, about how I wished I were like them. I thought that almost everyone had something that I didn’t have, and if I just had it…maybe I would fit in, and maybe I would be loved.
I am much older now, but I still feel like something is wrong with me…like I don’t belong in the world. I have always been a listener. I have heard so many life stories, and seen so much pain in my life. I have an empathetic heart, and I carry it with me. I always felt like I didn’t have a reason to be sad. So many people have it worse than me. I must make things out to be worse than they really are. I must just be a messed up person. My life hasn’t been easy…but I know that I am lucky for what I’ve been given. I felt stupid for feeling depressed…so I tried my hardest to keep it inside of me.
This year, I was told that I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain. The day I was born, my head was filled with anxiety. I had irrational fears and worries that other kids didn’t seem to have. It helped me understand why I felt so different. It helped me understand myself a lot more. Having Clinical Anxiety makes your life hell sometimes, but at least I know that it isn't just me.
I also read a book called “It’s kind of a funny story”. The boy in the book had a lot of the same thoughts as me. He didn’t express his problems with depression, and didn’t want to get help. He felt like he had a good life…he shouldn’t feel sad. And that their were a lot more deserving people than him.
It helped me realize that everyone is carrying some kind of burden. Everyone is affected differently. Everyone feels pain. Even the people that seem perfect have scars on their heart. Everyone deserves to be listened to and taken seriously.
You may feel like how you feel is just the way you are. Like you’re feelings are insignificant and without a cause. But there is a reason and you are just as important. Pain is Pain. We all feel it. We all need to be heard.
I am much older now, but I still feel like something is wrong with me…like I don’t belong in the world. I have always been a listener. I have heard so many life stories, and seen so much pain in my life. I have an empathetic heart, and I carry it with me. I always felt like I didn’t have a reason to be sad. So many people have it worse than me. I must make things out to be worse than they really are. I must just be a messed up person. My life hasn’t been easy…but I know that I am lucky for what I’ve been given. I felt stupid for feeling depressed…so I tried my hardest to keep it inside of me.
This year, I was told that I was born with a chemical imbalance in my brain. The day I was born, my head was filled with anxiety. I had irrational fears and worries that other kids didn’t seem to have. It helped me understand why I felt so different. It helped me understand myself a lot more. Having Clinical Anxiety makes your life hell sometimes, but at least I know that it isn't just me.
I also read a book called “It’s kind of a funny story”. The boy in the book had a lot of the same thoughts as me. He didn’t express his problems with depression, and didn’t want to get help. He felt like he had a good life…he shouldn’t feel sad. And that their were a lot more deserving people than him.
It helped me realize that everyone is carrying some kind of burden. Everyone is affected differently. Everyone feels pain. Even the people that seem perfect have scars on their heart. Everyone deserves to be listened to and taken seriously.
You may feel like how you feel is just the way you are. Like you’re feelings are insignificant and without a cause. But there is a reason and you are just as important. Pain is Pain. We all feel it. We all need to be heard.