Worry and Fear are going to KILL me!!!

[natbaby]

Hello everyone! I found this forum when using Google to look up all of my physical anxiety symptoms - hysterical crying, nausea, loss of appetite, etc. etc... I have horrible health anxiety that started right after my daughter was born. I actually think her birth was the big trigger for me, because one week later I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression and Anxiety. I don't like taking medication, I hate it, but it has saved my sanity and probably my life. For the last six years I have done fairly well with only four or five "episodes" (more like meltdowns). Right now I'm just getting over sinus and ear infections and my anxiety has been set off again. I suspect the culprit this time to be the steroid shot that I got last week to try and open my head up. Steroids always make me a bit crazy, but this time takes the cake!! I am convinced that I have heart disease and will have a heart attack and die before a doctor will discover what's wrong!! I'm too embarrassed to tell my husband, not because he wouldn't be supportive, but I guess because I realize in my own head that I'm being ridiculous. I'm exhausted by the end of the day, and I wake up in the morning with a jolt of panic, followed by nausea and an inability to eat. I spend most of my morning forcing myself to get ready for work, drive to work, get to my desk, and try to accomplish something without anyone noticing that I can't stop crying. The strange thing is that, eventhough I don't feel well enough to work, if I don't force myself to do my normal routine I think I really will collapse and this illness will swallow me whole. I feel like I'm holding on by a thin thread waiting to snap at any moment. I'm scared, really scared. I don't want to die, but I'm afraid I will at any moment. I feel hopeless because I've lost myself and I don't know if I will find my way back. What if THIS TIME is the time that I don't recover? I'm tired of needing someone to pat me on the head every day and say "you're ok", but I DO need it - at least for right now...

[alankay]

Nat, sounds like depression as much as pure anxiety. IHMO. If you're on a AD maybe the dose needs to be tweaked or an SNRI needs to be tried(assuming an SSRI is falling short). It may help with the energy side if bumping up the dose of an SSRI doesn't help(if you're on one). Run that by your doc and make sure he/she's aware of the crying and why. Whether is loss of hope of pure distress(or even both). It will help guide both meds and potential counseling. Alankay.

[natbaby]

Hi kev, what type of testing are you asking about - physical or mental? If its mental, none. I've had a work up from a cardio about a year and a half ago. Diagnosis - lose some weight, exercise, and control your anxiety better. I guess that translates to healthy?? Here in GA we don't say cheers, we say hey y'all! :)

[natbaby]

I am taking Prozac, 20 mg, and it has definitely improved my symptoms. I still, of course, have moments of anxiety that push through. I have an appointment with a new counselor next week, so I'm hoping we will be a good fit. I'm so glad that I found this forum, where I can be honest about how I'm feeling and not have someone staring at me like I'm an idiot, lol. It's very embarrassing to explain how I feel to people around me, so I mostly don't. They know something is wrong, but they don't know the extent of it.

[alankay]

Nat, I was on prozac for many years(1992-2010) and it's a good ssri med. Considering how you're feeling at that dose(20MG is the base starting dose) ask your doc about going right to 40mgs and see how you do(he may go 30 then 40 mgs). The first and most basic thing a doc will do often when a med like prozac has helped a bit but still not enough is simply raise the dose. I bet it would help(might help tons).
Lean on us here as we understand. Really consider calling in to your doc on raising the dose of fluoxetine. Honestly it's the first thing I'd do as well as going in to see a counselor to talk all of this over(unless that has been done to Ad nauseam). I'm glad you have a supportive hubby. It means so much.
Kev is referring to med tests like thyroid, blood tests, etc...I think. PM me any time. Cheers....I mean take care y' hear!!!:) Alankay