Somebody Shoot Me!!!

[Meche]

Why am I doing this to myself! I've had a really good few days with my sudden anxiety but today I have woke with a heaviness/weakness in right my arm and did the very thing I said I would NEVER do again - I googled! I have Parkinsons.... again! I couldn't stop myself and now I feel like crap. I don't feel like I'm about to have an attack or anything but it's really unsettled me and I'm SO angry with myself. I've been reassured by my fantastic doctor that I am just going through an anxious phase and that there is nothing seriously wrong with me. For me I think it's because my anxiety has arisen from nowhere and I can't explain why it's happening so I keep looking for underlying problems! Need to stop it before the men in white coats come for me :rolleyes:!! xx

[alankay]

Yes we anxious folks always scare ourselves(not on purpose) and we have to learn and understand we do this and try to remind ourselves that's the case and do our best to try and ignore what anxiety we whip ourselves into(harder said than done). Alankay

[Meche]

The thing is though - I was off work last week with suspected RSI symptoms which causes all kind of pain in your arm and now I'm back at work it's probably that manifesting itself again. Because of what has happened to me over the past few days though my anxiety is heightened and it couldn't possibly be that! What a vicious circle! xx

[costaboy]

google sucks haha

[miss_mac666]

yea it does. im trying really hard not to google symptoms. now i google dreams lol

[Meche]

I know it can be done forwells - I have managed to stay away from it for periods of time. This anxiety/panic situation is completely new for me (never in my 38 years have I suffered from it - I've been lucky) but sometimes when things are happening to you, you just need to understand why - and yes you're right - Google is not the answer. I know that now but everyday I am experiencing a symptom that I do not understand. I am still learning about anxiety and it's effects so please forgive me if I seem a bit naive or misguided about what I should /shouldn't be doing. Sorry - I don't mean to sound rude and I appreciate your comments and I really hope very soon I'm a confident, knowledgable place like you are. Right now I'm not but I am getting there. xx

[PanicCured]

I wrote a thread on this a while back about people with anxiety that are way too hard on themselves. This perfectionist attitude is part of the problem. Anxiety, panic, agoraphobia, obsessive googling is nothing to be ashamed of. It's just something you need to learn how to get past. Humans feel fear, and sometimes the fear can overtake us. Also, if you start getting real freaked out about a disease, just think that in the worst case scenario you got that disease, you can focus on healing and probably cure it. Anxiety feels like you are going crazy, but that is not what crazy is. Going insane is something different. There is no failing here. WE need to all learn how to loosen up and stop being so critical of ourselves.

I do not get panic attacks anymore and I have stated this numerous times here. But you know what? What if one day in the future I do? What if for 3 days straight I have severe panic attacks? All this means is that I need to jump back on the healing path. It wouldn't mean I'm a failure or crazy or my techniques did not work. It means I am human.

Imagine you go to the gym and eat great for 3 months. You lose weight and feel great. You start slacking off and 5 months go by and you gained weight and are unhealthy again. Are you a failure? No. You just go back to exercising and eating healthy again. Life has it's ups and downs. We need to roll with the punches and keep on keepin on. The only tragedy is if someone refuses to put out any effort to getting better. You clearly are trying real hard. Great job!

Keep moving forward. Fuck it. Say to yourself, "Even if I have a disease, Fuck it!" "Even if I am dying, Fuck it!" "No matter what I could possibly have, I am not going to worry about it." Disease and dying does not have to equal worry anyway. The soul lives on.

But you've been through all this before and every single time you come out ok. Why wouldn't you come out ok now?

There's not a whole lot you can do but heal yourself. And one day, we will all pass on through when no doctor can save us. When that happens, pop a bottle of champagne and cheers to the next journey!

[Meche]

Thank you guys - and Kev, no offense was taken. I know you are here to help and it is very much appreciated. I am having another really good day and most importantly I had a great nights sleep. I think my anxiety is a temporary 'blip' because I feel more like myself today. Maybe a little on edge (thoughts of the last few days really freaked/confused me) and I wonder if it could happen again but I can't dwell on that. Onwards and upwards for me I think and take each day as it comes. Oh - and I am in no way tempted to Google! xx