Scared!

[Meche]

I don't know where to start. It's cliched but I never thought I would find myself on a site like this. I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety (yet) so not even sure if this is the right place for me. I've always been a healthy, reasonable, rational person but over the past few weeks (and especially days) I feel like my life has spiralled out of control. I was recently diagnosed with possible RSI and signed off work to rest for a few days. That alone knocked my confidence because one symptom was leading to another - before I knew it I was googling and have now convinced myself I have MS, Parkinsons or some kind of brain disorder. The last few days have been a nightmare for me. I walked to our local shop the other day and god knows how I survived it. Out of nowhere my legs went weak and I thought I was going to pass out. I managed to hold it together (just) but it put the fear of god into me. I've had a migraine for the past 2 days because I'm so tense and now I can't sleep - this is what is scaring me most. I can be on the verge of falling asleep and my whole body will jerk itself wide awake along with a feeling of being light headed. It isn't painful but is very very scary. I then start thinking I have some kind of brain/nervous disorder and the whole episode starts again. I'm sat here typing this a complete nervous wreck. I am due to go back to work on Monday and I really want to because I need to take my mind of whatever is happening to me but I am so scared of having another 'episode'. I have felt a bit better and together today but the sleep thing happening again tonight has completely freaked me out and I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm so tired but scared to try and go to sleep. I feel like I'm in a vicious circle and I feel very alone. Reassurance needed!

[bryan kellogg]

I know exactly how you feel it sounds like you have anxiety you need to understand anxiety symptoms can be scary but they do not harm you and they do pass you may want to try doing some meditation and deep breathing you need to try to relax your mind that you are gonna be okay I know how that I'm not sleeping part bills the more you worry about not sleeping the harder it will be trying not to drink any kind of coffee or caffeinated sodas expescially after 12 pm and about the symptoms your having when you feel them start to come on try to take a deep breath and hold them for 5- 10 seconds and repeat them until you feel yourself calming down
I don't know where to start. It's cliched but I never thought I would find myself on a site like this. I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety (yet) so not even sure if this is the right place for me. I've always been a healthy, reasonable, rational person but over the past few weeks (and especially days) I feel like my life has spiralled out of control. I was recently diagnosed with possible RSI and signed off work to rest for a few days. That alone knocked my confidence because one symptom was leading to another - before I knew it I was googling and have now convinced myself I have MS, Parkinsons or some kind of brain disorder. The last few days have been a nightmare for me. I walked to our local shop the other day and god knows how I survived it. Out of nowhere my legs went weak and I thought I was going to pass out. I managed to hold it together (just) but it put the fear of god into me. I've had a migraine for the past 2 days because I'm so tense and now I can't sleep - this is what is scaring me most. I can be on the verge of falling asleep and my whole body will jerk itself wide awake along with a feeling of being light headed. It isn't painful but is very very scary. I then start thinking I have some kind of brain/nervous disorder and the whole episode starts again. I'm sat here typing this a complete nervous wreck. I am due to go back to work on Monday and I really want to because I need to take my mind of whatever is happening to me but I am so scared of having another 'episode'. I have felt a bit better and together today but the sleep thing happening again tonight has completely freaked me out and I feel like I'm back to square one. I'm so tired but scared to try and go to sleep. I feel like I'm in a vicious circle and I feel very alone. Reassurance needed!

[introvertdivi5i0n]

Hi there! I'm sorry to hear about the RSI, hope it clears up soon. I would like to first point out that I am not a professional, nor a doctor of any kind. As such, my opinions and advice should be taken lightly. Anyways, back to the topic. I had a similar experience over the last few weeks, due what I believe to constant Derealization (reality feels like a dream) after having my first full-blown panic attack. Before I knew what it was I was worried I was going crazy. Dr. Google had me thinking things like Skitzophrenia, Delusions, exc. It is scary to feel out of control of your own body and mind and not know what the problem is. It sounds to me like you are having extreme anxiety and panic attacks. What led me to this conclusion was mainly the statement that you would worry about serious health conditions being the problem and this would bring on another 'episode'. Also, the 'episode' you described having at the local shop sounded to me to be a panic attack. Keeping my mind occcupied helps a lot. I like to watch Comedies. Something engaging, but passive as watching a movie was best for me, because being so anxious made it difficult to focus on a task that required alot of mental effort. Maybe I'm just lazy >_>.

Anyways, anxiety will not kill you. A feeling of faintishness during a panic attack is common (I HATE that sensation!). You'll be ok! There are many diffrent techniques, medications, and therapy for overcoming this anxiety. Obviously you should consult a doctor to be sure of what it is.

[Meche]

Thank you so much guys. Your replies are much appreciated. Believe it or not I am usually a happy, go lucky, stress free person. This is what worries me most - this anxiety and fear has come out of nowhere. I'm not convinced that my 'RSI' is 'RSI' but another symptom of my anxiety. It's so difficult to know what to do. Right now all I want to do is sleep but I'm even scared to do that. I keep telling myself it's all in my head but it's easier said than done.

[introvertdivi5i0n]

Thats what happened to me. My anxiety flared up out of practically no where in a week. I went from minor anxiety all my life to an absolute nervous wreck quckly, but there is help for it. Its important to know you will get a grip on your anxiety.

[Meche]

I have to get a grip on it. I cannot allow this to get the better of me although right now it seems to be winning! I've been awake for 24 hours and have another splitting headache but so glad morning is here. It doesn't feel quite so scary. Not sure what my next plan of action is. All I can think about is I cannot go through another night like that and need something to knock me out. No herbal rubbish - tried that the other night and it doesn't work! I think I will make a doctors appt for tomorrow and get the reassurance I need that there is nothing seriously wrong and discuss any options. Up until last week I hadn't been to the doctors in 4 years so twice in as many weeks is mega for me!! Thank you again for all your kind words. It's not nice knowing you are all going through this too but it does make me feel a little better knowing I am not alone.

[Meche]

Thank you SkyBlue. I forced myself to take a long walk this afternoon just to get out of the house and it did help somewhat. Now I'm home I keep crying because a) I'm tired and b) I'm dreading another night of 'jerks'. I am literally shaking and my whole body is tense. I'm trying really hard to stay rational because this is not me and how I am. A definite trip to the doctor tomorrow is in order and I am determined to get myself back to work - the longer I leave it the harder it's going to be. I did have an outside panic attack the other day and it frightened be but I haven't let the fear bury me alive. I've never had to worry about my health before and I can't believe I'm the same person I was even a week ago. My other half has a friend who suffers from acute anxiety and I'm ashamed to say that in the past I have said the phrase 'he should get a life'. From the bottom of my heart I apologise to him and all you others who suffer with it - I wouldn't wish it on anybody.

[kipper1023]

Its never good to be hurting, but when you can find a support system to help you while your anxiety is hurting you, you have a better chance to overcome, then when alone. I have 13 years of being mistreated for my anxiety and panic attacks. I recently have been enduring severe anxiety and panic. Some days it feels as if my chest is being ripped apart. What I can tell you is that leaving your routine for more then several days will cause you anxiety and stress. I am going back to work after a month off and it is making me slightly stressed. More over the fact if your dealing with anti-deppresents it can worsen the effect if its the wrong drug. Or starting a new one or finishing one causes your body to have funks, that make you sick. Patience and faith are strongly needed. but know were all here for basically the same reason, to share and help each other.

[Meche]

Well guys - ended up at A&E at 1am this morning. Had very bad jerks last night with severe trembling which freaked me out big time. Was absolutely petrified. Basically though all general tests came back normal apart from reflexes which were a bit weak but nothing to worry about. Left with 6 x 2mg of diazepam to relax my muscles and help me sleep. However, still not convinced something isn't wrong. Took pill when got home and felt a bit more relaxed enough to attempt sleep (been up for over 30 hours now). But within 10 minutes I could feel the jerks again. Nowhere near as bad but still enough to raise my anxiety levels. I am at a dead end and really do not know what to do. I fear losing my sanity over this because I'm now developing a fear of sleep. I don't know how to get past this. I don't want to be this annoying person demanding more tests but for my own peace of mind I need to rule out anything sinister. I'm living a nightmare!

[Pustizzi_1985]

Welcome! I was the exact same way and thinking back, I think I was always this way but never knew "what it was". You are not alone! This site has helped me in so many ways and I hope it does the same for you! It helps knowing that others are going through what you are! Such a great support system

[kipper1023]

I am sorry your still having problems Meche. But your not alone. i too have to visit the doctors today. My anxiety and panic attacks were making everything hard for me, encluding going to sleep and staying asleep. They just gave me a pill, of course, but you an I are have each other. We will overcome this and it will get better.

[scared&worried]

Hi Meche. I know exactly how you are feeling. A few months back, I was experiencing the worst/scariest physical symptoms ever. I would be afraid to go asleep, always feeling light headed, and feeling like a "jolt" in my body, and I would suddenly sit up, and be very panicked. I would be afraid that if I fell asleep that I wasn't going to wake up. I would go periods of 24-72 hours with no sleep. I was starting to feel like I was going crazy because of the lack of sleep. I started taking sleeping pills, but found that they were causing me to become really depressed.....I still suffer from anxiety symptoms, but mostly during the day, and mainly just related to chronic stomach pain and some tingling in my scalp....Overall, my sleep has improved significantly. Here are some things that I have been doing, which I believe have helped me to sleep:

-progressive muscle relaxation exercises (daily)
-exercise
-drinking lots of chamomile tea
-going swimming
-getting regular fresh air/sunshine
-avoiding alcohol, avoiding caffeine, and avoiding violent tv shows/movies

I finally feel like I am starting to function better....now just need to figure out how to get rid of this stomach pain (have had it since start of October!).

I hope you start feeling better soon.

[kipper1023]

[QUOTE=scared&worried;40225]Hi Meche. I know exactly how you are feeling. A few months back, I was experiencing the worst/scariest physical symptoms ever. I would be afraid to go asleep, always feeling light headed, and feeling like a "jolt" in my body, and I would suddenly sit up, and be very panicked. I would be afraid that if I fell asleep that I wasn't going to wake up. I would go periods of 24-72 hours with no sleep. I was starting to feel like I was going crazy because of the lack of sleep. I started taking sleeping pills, but found that they were causing me to become really depressed.....I still suffer from anxiety symptoms, but mostly during the day, and mainly just related to chronic stomach pain and some tingling in my scalp....Overall, my sleep has improved significantly. Here are some things that I have been doing, which I believe have helped me to sleep:

-progressive muscle relaxation exercises (daily)
-exercise
-drinking lots of chamomile tea
-going swimming
-getting regular fresh air/sunshine
-avoiding alcohol, avoiding caffeine, and avoiding violent tv shows/movies

I finally feel like I am starting to function better....now just need to figure out how to get rid of this stomach pain (have had it since start of October!).

I hope you start feeling better soon.[/QUO

Have you seen a gastroentrologist? It its a burning feeling in the upper part of your stomach its most likely that you anxiety is causing your acid recpricoles in your stomach to over produce, giving you a full, nauseous feeling, making life very difficult. I have that problem so i take prilosec otc to help.

[Meche]

Thank you for all your lovely kind words . Although I'm feeling a bit better I have woken up at 4am feeling quite anxious (shaky, nervous, nausea) but have found coming on this site has really calmed me down. Whenever I have a symptom I either think I'm about to have another attack or start thinking there is something wrong with me. I have stopped Googling because it increases my anxiety and it's an evil place to go! Reading all your stories/experiences is like a medicine. I don't like to think of you all suffering but I feel less afraid knowing I am not crazy-mad and alone in my 'anxiety world'!! Despite the drama of the last few days I am quite proud that I have managed to stay calm. Events of last night are still very much at the front of my mind and I can't believe how freaked out I actually got. What I'm finding more difficult to come to terms with is I feel like I don't know myself anymore. Anxiety/stress has never played a part in my life up until now and I'm struggling to understand where it has manifested from and how I have gotten myself into this place. Ask anybody who knows me and they will tell you I am the most relaxed, care-free person around. I can't understand it! I spoke to my doctor yesterday (as a follow-up from the hospital) and she has booked me in for an MOT next week as 2 doctors in as many days have said I have possible symptoms of an over-active thyroid. This is a separate issue and one I'm not worried about but does anybody know if anxiety and thyroid issues are related. I daren't Google it!!!!

[Meche]

Hi guys. First day back at work wasn't too bad. Didn't have any anxiety or major issues although was a bit nervous all day wondering if it was going to happen! Was home for 30 mins or so then I could feel the adrenalin rush to my head, the lightheaded feeling and tingling!!! Took deep breaths, stretches and just kept telling myself to keep it together but it took forever. I could feel my legs tensing (this is my main symptom - shaky/twitchy legs). The situation was only diffused when my cousin called and we were chatting for over an hour. End result - all symptoms gone. Sat here feeling relatively normal - whatever that is! Am taking the last of my diazepam tonight so know I'll sleep well but from tomorrow I'm on my own! Sleep is my anxiety trigger as this is where my problem started - night jerks/night terrors! Have now developed a fear of going to bed. Have had 6 hours sleep in 3 days! Up until last week I loved my bed and my sleep but suddenly it's my living nightmare. I'm not reliant on pills and have only been given 2 nights worth but will get more if it becomes absolutely necessary until I can find ways to combat this naturally. I'm trying to stay positive but getting really fed up and my confidence is waning fast. xx

[costaboy]

thats great news the anxiety is beaten if only just for a day i bet you feel grat now xxx

[scared&worried]

SkyBlue - Yes I have seen a gastro specialist and have had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. Nothing found in either. I had alot of anxiety leading up to both tests, worried they were gonna find stomach cancer. My anxiety has calmed down a bit since then, but still have the stomach pain. I have been on Nexium before (back in 2007) because I was having lots of acid reflux, and regurgitating my food on a regular basis. I was on Nexium for a year and it worked great. This past September, my acid reflux came back but this time the Nexium didn't work. So now I am on Dexilant and it helps as far as the regurgitation issues go. Just nothing different with the stomach problem.

[bryan kellogg]

Does that paul mckenna cd really work for you I just found it on the internet and I just bought it I'm downloading it now
Good job on making some progress today. You saw first hand the power of how distracting yourself can help you forget about anxiety for an hour. That is one of the key factors. The more you can distract yourself like that, the more you forget about anxiety and the more you remember what feeling normal is like. The more you distract yourself, the better off you are.

For sleep, what I found worked best for me was a few MP3 files. I have a few by Paul McKenna, Deep Sleep being the most relevant and I also have a few anti-anxiety MP3s from Charles Linden. I put them in a folder on my MP3 player and sometimes I would fall asleep within minutes, sometimes at the end of one and sometimes it would take several. But no matter what, it was very relaxing and they helped immensely. I would even listen to them if I was home during the day to relax.

Hope that helps give you some ideas.

[bryan kellogg]

SkyBlue - Yes I have seen a gastro specialist and have had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. Nothing found in either. I had alot of anxiety leading up to both tests, worried they were gonna find stomach cancer. My anxiety has calmed down a bit since then, but still have the stomach pain. I have been on Nexium before (back in 2007) because I was having lots of acid reflux, and regurgitating my food on a regular basis. I was on Nexium for a year and it worked great. This past September, my acid reflux came back but this time the Nexium didn't work. So now I am on Dexilant and it helps as far as the regurgitation issues go. Just nothing different with the stomach problem. about a year ago I had h pylori which they said cause my acid reflux I had therapy for it and I do feel better you may want to get tested for it h pylori can cause ulcers and stomach cancer

[Meche]

Not having a good morning guys. Was up 5am with alot of nervous tension/twitching. Had soak in bath which seemed to subside it for a little while but feeling VERY anxious now. I feel lightheaded, my arm is tingling and painful, feel sick and have a feeling of dread and waiting for something bad to happen. Have also developed an on/off twitch in my right eye. I want to scream and cry but feel if I do I'm not going to stop!! I'm at work (don't want to be at home) and wondering how I'm going to get through the day. I have to but I desparately need to calm myself down. I'm going to make a doctors appointment because I feel I need to talk through my worries/fears. I'm at the end of my tether and don't know how much more I can take.

[scared&worried]

Yup. Been tested for H Pylori. Don't have it.

[Meche]

Feeling SO much better this afternoon. Managed to see a doctor and it has done me the world of good. She was absolutely wonderful and so understanding. She has put my mind at rest in so many ways and for the first time I feel like there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I have basically got myself wound up about a situation and I need to find ways of addressing my fear and not focus on my symptoms. For me sleep is my fear because I suffer from mycolonic jerks which put the fear of god into me. I haven't helped myself because I have hardly eaten in 5 days and lack of sleep is magnifying my symptoms. I have to focus on keeping myself busy and learning to relax before I go to bed - oh, and not to go to bed unless I'm sleepy. Have had a very productive day at work (despite this mornings episode) and am off to the gym later this evening. I don't know if I'm going to have a 'slip-up' later but I do know that I can diffuse the situation if I need to - I've done it twice already. It may sound really silly but I typed up a kind of report from everything I remember the doctor telling me so that if I do start to panic I can recall everything she told me and hopefully it will calm the situation.

[scared&worried]

Glad to hear that you are having a better afternoon, and that the doctor helped you out. Try to build off of this positive energy! Have a great work out!

[Meche]

Hi guys. I'm feeling so much better but still not out of the woods. Rather than feeling anxious or panicky I now feel constantly nervous. Thing is, although diazepam has been helping me to relax a little and get a good sleep I don't like how it's making me feel. I don't use it during the day and only at night before I go to bed but the next day I wake up feeling sick, my muscles feel weak and stiff, my head feels fuzzy all day long and by mid afternoon I'm shattered. I don't know if these are side effects or if my mind and body have been through so much recently that it's just another symptom. I have only been taking it for 4 days and it's just to get me through this tough period.

[natbaby]

Meche,

I just joined this forum and your post is the first one that I read. I suffer from extreme health anxiety - I am extremely convinced that I am at risk of heart disease and dropping dead from a heart attack. I'm 33 years old!! Like you, I fell into the "Google trap", not to mention an friend on Facebook sent me an article about young women dying from heart disease (like THAT is what you tell a hypochondriac like me). Anyway, I see how you have been feeling a bit better but still seem to have an overall nervous feeling. That's the point I'm at as well. My worst times are morning - when I wake I have several hours of hysterical crying and thinking that any minute is my last one. Around about lunch time, I start to come around but remain shaky feeling, fuzzy, and can't eat. I really believe that it's a product of all of the stress put on our bodies from the anxiety episodes. Kind of like after you eat a bunch of sugar and then crash. I wish you the best and just try to hang in there - you are not alone!

[Meche]

Thank you natbaby - it's a vicious circle isn't it. My constant worry is neuro disorders. My right arm has been heavy/weak today and convinced I have MS or Parkinsons even though I have been reassured by my doctor! I'm convinced my speech is slurred but I'm the only one that thinks so :confused: My anxiety has stemmed from sleep issues so at the moment I'm over tired and my brain can't rationalise anything. I am also on diazepam (temporarily) and I think it is effecting my ability to think straight - I feel very fuzzy and detached. I had very bad anxiety attacks over the weekend but haven't had one since and like I said before I'm left with a constant feeling of nervousness. You hang in there too - we will be ok but at the time it never feels that way. Big hugs xx

[RedBeard]

That alone knocked my confidence because one symptom was leading to another - before I knew it I was googling and have now convinced myself I have MS, Parkinsons or some kind of brain disorder.

I have been doing that for the past two weeks! I've learned recently that WebMD and Google are your enemy when it comes to anxiety lol. I've had tremors in my hands lately and it's been freaking me out. I looked it up on Google and next thing you know, I started to "develop" other symptoms based on what I had read online about MS, Parkinsons, etc. This forum has provided me with peace of mind.