The story of my present

[Jeordie]

Hi there,

I read around through the forum and found people with similar symptoms to the ones I have.
My permanent fear is having an undiagnosed illness. Maybe a brain infection, a colon cancer, something progressive and irreversible, like a stroke...

I have many strange symtoms. It all started having panic attacks, which I still have, though rarely. I had a period of depression and some doctors suggested I had OCD due to recurrent obsessive thoughts (but I don't have any real compulsion) and, of course, generalized anxiety. Preferred not to get medication.

I've been relatively fine for some time, still getting some strange phisical feeling that didn't annoy me too much. But now for some time I've had these:

- I feel faint a lot. I never fainted, but I feel like I'm going to. I know many have this symtom wich is caused by anxiety. But I really can't believe this is just that. It appears randomly, at least once a day for minutes/hours.
But it seems somehow linked to certain events: when I'm among people, when I talk a lot, after a meal, and when I use the computer for some time. Sometimes I don't have it at all even facing a stressful event. If I go walking down the streets, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna feel faint. Rarely this boosts a panic attack.
I used to think this was hypoglecemia or low blood pressure. I do have some low blood pressure, and blood sugar is not very high as a doctor told me. Doctors just don't know what's wrong in me. I did many tests. Somebody argues I have a psychosomatic illness.
When I feel faint, I don't really see well. Everything is somehow blurry. And I feel weak, I have chills and tingles all over the body, and I usually think my brain doesn't get enough oxigen. Since this happens a lot when I'm outside, I usually have the urge to get back home, and it gets better after some rest. Weird, at the least.
- Tingles. They happened eveyrwhere: face, arms, hands, but it's scary when it's in the head. There are a couple of locations in my head where this happens more often, one especially: this makes me so think blood doesn't flow well over there. Tingling also occurs if I lay on a side and I'm holding my head with a hand: after a while, that part of the head starts tingling. So, since this is typical of restricted blood flow (like when you sit over a foot or something, and the foot starts tingling), it scares me if it happens all by itself. Yes it does.
- My sight hasn't been really clear for about three weeks now. Like I can't focus things like I used to. I often get this "new" symptoms and they get stuck in there so this seems like something, though unexplainable,that will pass away. Instead, the fainting feeling is something I've had almost everyday for 10 months or something now! It juts got worse!
- It's a feeling I would describe as "nausea of the brain". I feel highly nauseous in the abdomen. Like a strong highlight, for a moment. And then I feel that same feeling in my head! And it makes me feel like I'm going to faint on that moment, because it's unexpected and intense. But er, I don't. This symtom probably doesn't make any sense to you, it doesn't to me either.
- My belly feels umconfortable all the time, but one thing I do know: I have a diagnosed irritable bowel syndrom. So, that's cool, I've had it for more than a year now, and I know it's that.
- My head feels oh so tense all the time. So yeah, I recognize there is a lot of muscolar tension, even in the scalp, the jaw, the neck, the shoulders...everywhere I'm tense, yeah I can feel it. Don't know if this would let me feel so dizzy all the time, though.
- I have so many other weird things going on but this would get too long.
- Today I wondered if it makes sense to live in this condition of permanent alarm for your health. It feels like s***, if you know what I mean. Probably some of you know.

So what am I looking for? Comfort, maybe.
I know I could be hypocondriac, and most of these can be psychosomatic, but hey, it doesn't feel good anyway.

Hope somebody can tell me something. Something I can do to heal.
A sketch of my life situation: wonderful family but dad with Parkinson, not much money, don't have a job, know I have a lot of potential, scared even to think about it, live in a place I hate. I mean, I don't really like the people here (south of italy). Don't have a girlfriend, I'm a sort of disaster with women right now...though I didn't use to be...I don't know what happened, probably all this stress.... :unsure:

So, in a word, I don't really have the warmth and comfort I wish.
But still smile, occasionally... :D
jordan

[Hummbug]

I have some of the same symptoms recently. I have what I describe as a sudden dizziness. I also have it when I'm talking (even on the phone), after eating, and while on the computer. At first, I thought it was my sinuses. I also have the tingling even sometimes in my chest along with hot flashes.

I have had anxiety and panic since I was 15. I'm now 30. What started all mine was I had a heart condition that has since been fixed, but it took years to actually catch it on EKG. By the time they found the problem.....I was already in anxiety/panic mode. I have never wanted to take medication....just one of my fears.

Anyway........just wanted you to know your not alone.

[Jeordie]

Thanks for your reply,

the dizziness sounds like it. So what should we do about it? Did you tell this to a doctor? My doctor suspected hypoglicemia, heart stuff, etc....
But tests (which I've found to be somehow superficial though) didn't show anything relevant.

Though, if you were to tell me of this dizziness matter the way you did, I would say you'd just have a temporary blood pressure decrease. So that you should just get over it.

But then, of course, I'd think of how it FEELS. Maybe that's the thing, that it feels bad, maybe we're sensitive, and anxious of course, so something tiny becomes big....
Maybe?

[Jeordie]

I forgot to say one of my main symtoms lately: chest pain. It appears randomly, but I have the feeling it happens when I get very upset. It's this sharp, moderately painful pain usually on the left side of the chest, and the left shoulder, arm, and hand.
Having heard of angina, I always think that is it.
But my doctor doesnt' think so. I did EKG and it was fine, he said.
I also have random strong shooting pains in the head! Does my restricted blood flow idea make sense, then?

I can't really end the list of weird stuff that happens to me and honestly, makes my life slightly more miserable than it could be.
Maybe I am under a voodoo spell? :shock:

[amarkb]

Hey,

You've pretty much just described me. I got all the symptoms you mentioned and also thought I had some undiagnosed illness.

I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about anxiety and it's really helped.

What your describing is the result of hyperventilation, then tension from worrying about the symptoms of hyperventialtion. It took me a while to accept that it was all because of my breathing and stress but i've had every medical test under the sun (as have you it seems) and so we need to be reassured that there is no underlying medical problem.

Hyperventilation causes diziness, tingling on the face, arms, legs etc, blurred vision, headaches, ringing ears and more besides.

The jaw, neck and scalp pain is tension headache. they're horrible but are the result of the tension your carrying around and a good tension headache painkiller gets rid of them. Ask your pharmacist for a good one. I used Syndol and it's great. By the way, I've not had a tension headache since I stopped worrying about being dizzy etc.

What happens is we have a period of stress, which causes the physical symptoms you've mentioned. Then, and this is the point when things go wrong, we start to worry about our symptoms, which in turn causes more stress and before you know it you're in "the loop", a self perpetuating cycle of stress and symptoms. Great huh?!

You may not think you're overbreathing at the time but you probably are. Most likely you're taking lots of shallow breaths. If you can you need to step back from yourself when you feel the dizziness coming on and check to see if you're breathing deep enough. You need to take long deep breathes that inflate your stomach. Count 7 in, 11 out.

I have known times when I just couldn't take a long deep breath, it made me giddy to try but if you persevere it gets easier.

I know exactly how hellish it is living like this. I'm only just getting over it and still have bad days but they are getting less. It is comforting to hear that other people have experienced exactly the same as you and you should definately continue to discuss it on here.

Read all about anxiety, hyperventialtion and tension headaches. You'll find you're reading about yourself.

DON'T go reading about other illnesses on the internet or elsewhere. If you've been to a doctor and they have no cause for concern neither should you.

Good luck and keep in touch. PM me any time.

Adam

[amarkb]

oh yeah, it also causes chest pains and muscular aches and pains.

My doctor once told me that stress gives you a heightened awareness of your body so what you said about being over sensitive is probably true.

Someone who wasn;t stressed would probably not pay some of the things we've experienced much attention.

[Hummbug]

I have also had many tests, which of course show nothing. I did tell the Dr. of my symptoms of and they also suggested hyperventilation. I would think, no way, I'm breathing fine. I do notice I take shallow breaths. I don't notice I'm breathing that way until my stomach is very upset and I'm scrunched into a ball at my mid-section.

Eating is aweful for me anymore. No matter what I eat or even how little, I feel terrible.

I also suffer from sensitivity. This is very bad for me. I will be thrown into panic if someone walks on a floor and it bounces or if I'm sitting at the table and someone bumps it. The worst is when someone is bouncing there foot.

I too have the pain in my left arm/shoulder that goes into my fingers, usually my ring and middle finger. The chest pain I have is on the left side under my breast. I see a cardiologist regularly and have had sooooo many tests. Nothing shows. I also had nerve tests of my left arm. Nothing there either. I had a CAT scan and it did show a slightly bulging disc, but nothing they would do anything about.

I just recently started getting the tension headaches. I also have the shooting pains in my head.


Thanks for posting....this has helped me tremendously. Just to know I'm not the only one feeling these symptoms.

[Jeordie]

Ooh man.

Adam, thanks a lot. I did read about hyperventilation and tension headackes in the past, and I did find it interesting. I got over my symptoms more than once since I've found that justification. It's like going to the doctor and finding reassurance. I feel better for a while. But then something NEW happens. Something in an another way, or something completely new, that makes me think: this is it, this is really bad this time.
Thinking about this I do think i'm at least somewhat hypocondriac. It couldn't be anything else. Years ago I had more awful symtoms that I don't have anymore. I thought I had something awful - a cancer or something. But time passed, and those physical symptoms aren't there anymore - they changed. They are different. And I'm still alive...
Just thinking.

So, right now, I think I have nothing, thanks to you reminding me of the existence of hyperventilation and tension that of course make you feel terrible. It makes sense, yes, I have that. Yes, I probably don't breath very well. It is unconscious. I'm used to breath in that way, it's not easy to defeat. I guess I will keep practice.

It's good to know you can do something to feel better.
I would like to hear the story of somebody who had overcome anxiety and psychosomatic symptoms, and I would like to know how he did it. So I can find my way. And other people also.

Hummbug: I hate eating as well (*pat on shoulder*).
I feel sick even with a small quantity of several foods. Milk, chocolate (wich I used to love), and all this wonderful food we have in Italy. They truly make me sick, nauseous, and fill my intestine with air.
Also, I feel very full just after a dish of something. It didn't use to be like that. I probably don't chew well and don't breath well while eating. And I know why.

So, ladies and gentlemen, we know we're not alone, let's beat this &%$£ beast.

[amarkb]

Jeordie,

Being hypondriac can be part and parcel of suffering from anxiety. Basically it's anxiety about your health, and who wouldn't initially be anxious about some of the horible sensations anxiety causes.

It's completely understandable that we'd initially get stressed out about everything we're physically feeling.

What we've got to do is keep focused on the fact that it's 'just' anxiety and all that comes with it, ie the effects of adrenaline and hyperventilation.

Once you stop being scared of the sensations they cause they gradually disappear.

[amarkb]

by the way this thread on uncommonforum really helped me get my head round things.

I'll post the address below.

[Jeordie]

Uh...where is it?

[amarkb]

I've been trying to post it but apparently I've not made enough posts to post the address.

doh!

I'll try again in a bit.

[amarkb]

trying again...

http://www.uncommonforum.com/viewtopic.php?t=20531&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

[Jeordie]

That link has a point. The guy probably isn't a writer, but in its simplicity that is what I've found effective many times:

- accept your symtoms,
- do not think about them at all,
- find other stuff to think about instead.

This, in a nutshell, but really there isn't any more to say. It's a complete attitude change which in a way, you can actually do overnight. You're not going to heal in a day, but in a day I made a huge difference due my change of attitude: just not allowing bad thoughts to stay.

One can do it. The motivation I had was: I want to get rid of this. I want to live in a new way. And improvements come immediately.

Now guys, thanks for the support, I need to start another thread now about something specific, but I'd like to keep this alive as well.