How to tell someone?

[frognchips]

Hello, well I have a question for everyone, how did people get to know about your anxiety? I'm still in secondary school and I've been suffering from either excessive shyness or anxiety for a long time now without any one really noticing, people just think I'm quiet, one of my teachers has commented on how shy I was before but obviously didn't think anything of it. I've been trying to tell someone about it for ages but it's a bit of a catch 22 because my anxeity to share my feelings is stopping me getting help for it. Anyone have any ideas? I know exactly who I want to tell and how I want to tell them but I can't muster the courage to do it , also I feel that the fact that I can't cry even when I great emotional distress might make them think that I'm just wanting attention which really is the exact opposite.
Thanks x

[jessed03]

EDIT: Whoop's misread the post. I thought it was more on a social level :)

Do you mean telling somebody, that will help you to get further treatment for it, like a counsellor, or therapist, or even teacher?

[alankay]

Besides the docs/counselors I've seen I've only told me fiance'. Strange but since most folks won't understand Panic Disorder(more understand social anxiety) I just keep it to myself. As I man I freely admit I am ashamed to let people know. I am so well versed on anxiety(treatment/meds/common issues with anxiety) I just manage it as I've learned over the years(I'm 48). I don't like it but that's the way it is for me. I wish I could say it like a diabetic could but feel strongly just enough would just not understand or even joke about it(especially at work).
I told my fiance because I was having bad dreams about keeping things from her. I calmly told her what I went through after high school(when my anxiety manifested itself) and said I still occasionally get anxious and I would let her know when and why and she understood. She knows it's part of me but not who I am. I manage it pretty well so it's not a big issue at all. Alankay

[frognchips]

EDIT: Whoop's misread the post. I thought it was more on a social level :)

Do you mean telling somebody, that will help you to get further treatment for it, like a counsellor, or therapist, or even teacher?

Hi thanks for replying. I want to tell my form tutor because I feel that things are getting too far and if I don't get help soon then it's gonna get worse. I'm feeling rather depressed at the moment and when things have gotten too much I have self harmed I also have developed this obsession that people think I'm fat and have started eating less and purging what I eat. Im hoping that if I tell someone then they will help deal with the anxiety which could in turn help with the other issues.

[frognchips]

Alankay, I haven't seen any counsellors or doctors about it and feel that if I did my family would understand but I need confirmation that it is definately anxeity before I do so.i think that if I do get diognosed then I would prefer people to know especially teachers as then they would know not to put me in situations I can't handle. I don't mean I'd explain my life story to people just let them know.

[jessed03]

It seems one of those thing's that you have to bite the bullet and just do. Make a plan to do it. But you don't have to be exact. Plan to do it, but you can also allow it to be more spontaneous. If you wake up feeling bad, leave it a day. If it's busy, don't sweat it. But try not to let a week go by, or it becomes a mental thing.

I think it's just a case of saying "Can we talk for a moment?... I've been having these issues with anxiety lately... I've been feeling...And doing"

People are so understanding. Read what Kev (forwell's) wrote yesterday. About having violent thought's. I had the same too. I was utterly terrified of telling anyone. But, I told my doctor, and they reacted like I had told them I had a cold. A little sympathetically, but very understandingly. Like Kev said, a quarter of people have suffered it in some way. Tutor's, therapist's, doctor's are all comfortable around it, they know what you're saying, even if you don't communicate it perfectly.

With anxiety, it's better not to over think thing's, ya know. Give yourself a little "Come on, let's do it" and move your leg's before your brain has time to think. It's a symptom of anxiety to think we'll be misunderstood, or won't communicate ourselves properly, or will mess it up. We can feel we have to do thing's more intellegently, or perfectly than we do. A lot of thing's are far easier than we realise. Just remind yourself once you've done it, you'll allow yourself to get better. A little like going to get an injection. A necessary inconvenience :)

[frognchips]

Thanks everyone, I feel a bit less terrified about telling someone and think I might have to just get it over and done with. :D

[alankay]

Well if it's your teacher that should make a tad easier as they are often well versed in these things. They are often on the above average intelligence side and are more likely to understand. Many teachers even are "mini" child psychologists as they must understand and deal with things that often get in the way of a child education/schooling. Home issues, including some emotional issues, etc, so I bet the tutor will be easy to talk to on this. If he's been doing this for a while I bet he's seen it before and will be sympathetic. Alankay.

[kellyzac]

Hi, im a bottler i never tell anyone anything about the way i feel but through a counselor he helped me be more open, i started to tell people friends and so forth if the conversation steered that way i never sat anyone down and spilled but there where so many people that understood i was shocked people had either suffered themselves or had family members suffer with anxiety to even my mom told me she suffered to in her 20's which id never have known. Now il tell any bugger who'l listen im not ashamed to tell anybody that i suffer with anxiety. If you cant start the conversation off with somebody could you write it all down perhaps even putting pen to paper can give you relief that you have let it out! You really need to tell someone though it will help you so much. Hope it all works out for you.