vano
02-10-2012, 10:21 PM
Hi everyone! I don't know if that happened to other people the way it did to me but my anxiety symptoms changed a lot since the beggining and its getting me very scared!I had 3 big moments of anxiety. My first big episode was at 17 and I was taken by the ambulance and checked and then put on Paxil cr and had ativans. It was intense and new for me. I couldnt get out the appartment for 4 months... I would have panic attacs everyday plus the constant uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. I would be extremely nauseaus and dizzy, some stomachache too. and I have a phobia of throwing up so that didnt help me calm down. I took a lot of ativans the first month because of the panick attacks.
I stopped my meds sooner than I was suposed too because I was feeling super good and it all came back when I was 18, I recognized the symptoms right away and went to the clinic myself. stuck home for 2-3 months before feeling okay to get out. later that year I moved out my mom's appartment. The freedom of being in my own things without my horrible family of thieves, alcoolics and drug addicts helped a lot. So I stopped my pills because I tought the roots of the stress was money, family etc.
I've been good for almost 2 years..
Since this fall.. I've been feeling horrible and it feels very different from what i experienced in my 2 previous big episodes.. I have no nausea or panic attacks But I had a constant huge uncomfrtable feeling that won't go away. My chest is feeling weird and hurting. I tought many times I was gonna die.. sometimes ill feel good for one or 2 weeks and think I exagerated and was lazy but when it comes back I know it's real! I went to the clinic and told them about my historic and asked for paxil cr and ativan again. the paxil didnt work this time, bad side effect, my chest pains were so intense I tought I was gonna die any minute. I have bad moments of feeling down, lots of toughts.. I can't live like that.. I can't go to school or work anymore. I don't want to get out my appartment either.I' so scared I have a disease and am gonna die. I see a therapist every week and its helping a little but she isnt pro-medication and won't recommend it. But therapy even though it helps on different levels won't make those feelings go away.. and I'm scared to take the ativans when I feel really bad because it's not a panick attack and I'M scared it will slow my heart beat too much and my hear will stop beating. Should I go back to the clinic and try medications until I find the good one? I feel like I'd be sacrificing a little part of my person but I can't continue like this any longer.. thanks for reading
sorry for the long message
I stopped my meds sooner than I was suposed too because I was feeling super good and it all came back when I was 18, I recognized the symptoms right away and went to the clinic myself. stuck home for 2-3 months before feeling okay to get out. later that year I moved out my mom's appartment. The freedom of being in my own things without my horrible family of thieves, alcoolics and drug addicts helped a lot. So I stopped my pills because I tought the roots of the stress was money, family etc.
I've been good for almost 2 years..
Since this fall.. I've been feeling horrible and it feels very different from what i experienced in my 2 previous big episodes.. I have no nausea or panic attacks But I had a constant huge uncomfrtable feeling that won't go away. My chest is feeling weird and hurting. I tought many times I was gonna die.. sometimes ill feel good for one or 2 weeks and think I exagerated and was lazy but when it comes back I know it's real! I went to the clinic and told them about my historic and asked for paxil cr and ativan again. the paxil didnt work this time, bad side effect, my chest pains were so intense I tought I was gonna die any minute. I have bad moments of feeling down, lots of toughts.. I can't live like that.. I can't go to school or work anymore. I don't want to get out my appartment either.I' so scared I have a disease and am gonna die. I see a therapist every week and its helping a little but she isnt pro-medication and won't recommend it. But therapy even though it helps on different levels won't make those feelings go away.. and I'm scared to take the ativans when I feel really bad because it's not a panick attack and I'M scared it will slow my heart beat too much and my hear will stop beating. Should I go back to the clinic and try medications until I find the good one? I feel like I'd be sacrificing a little part of my person but I can't continue like this any longer.. thanks for reading
sorry for the long message