why am I anxious about random BS

[okami1995]

So, I'm going through an anxiety phase at the minute, and because of that, my brain latches on to all sorts of random stuff to be worried about. One such thing is that recently I asked my mother a question about the grill, but I was uncertain about her answer, so I asked my dad as well later on, because out of all of us, he seems to be the one who knows the most about tech. Now, however, I'm feeling anxious because I feel as if I stated my mum was stupid by asking the same question to my dad. That's not true at all, because I don't think that, in fact, I know my mum's a very intelligent person. It's just that when it comes to tech, she doesn't know how to use it outside of the basics, her area of expertise is in the sciences, so I guess I just trust my dad more when it comes to technological stuff. Yes, I'm even worrying about frivolous stuff like that. Why do I worry about such stupid things, especially when I know that my mum is intelligent and that I wasn't calling her stupid by asking the same question to my dad. I guess I'm just so incredibly anxious lately that such tiny details bother me. What can I do about this?

[alankay]

OK, well at least you are smart enough to spot these things. Some just go on hurting feelings, etc and never catch on and try to current this. I feel you just might be irritable as anxiety can make one very irritable indeed. Alankay

[jessed03]

Okami,

This actually sounds like a symptom of OCD. Not a massive one by any means, but it sounds like it has a slight root in it. I say this, as it matches what you've said in some other post's and messages. I would do something very similar. It's this obsessing over a fear you might have hurt somebody, or upset/insulted somebody. I read an example, whereby a man would retrace his steps in his car, to make sure he hadn't hit anyone or anything while driving. Another type of OCD, is relationship OCD. Out of nowhere, somebody can pick an action (perhaps they misspelt their partners name in a text) and it send them into this frenzy, that they start fretting over whether or not they love their partner, whether or not their partner knows it. It just becomes this black hole of uncertainty, This is a more dramatic version of it, but you're doing something very similar, but in your thought, it isn't the obsessing of not loving someone, but the obsessing of potentially hurting or offending someone. The compulsion is to keep running it over, and over, and over, trying to reassure yourself, and trying to find evidence against it.

What I want to point out, is it's a condition, not the thought itself that is the problem. Even if you managed to find perfect logic to disprove it, and your mum told you everything was perfectly fine, you may be reassured for a moment, but, with certainty, it may come back the next day, another thought may pop into your head "What if she's lying"... "What if I hurt her so much she doesn't care about lying to me"... and it could go on indefinetly. Even if this one goes away, it comes back, but with another topic. Because it's unavoidable, anything can be twisted to mean anything. Take the bible. People use it to encourage profound compassion, others use it to promote war. Things all depend on how the individual interprets something, and with OCD, we have a condition that has learnt to interpret things wrongly, and uncertainly.

How much does your mum know about how your feeling? I wonder what would happen, if you sat down and told her this worry, and asked her how she felt. If you have a close relationship, it could be something you may want to try, but you don't have to, it isn't essential.