Is this a dream?

[rhubarb83]

It's been so long since I've posted on here, but finding the forum again is probably a good thing when I am so desperate for advice.
I am working abroad now, and started a job a few months ago I hate. Now, more and more, everything is becoming dream-like. I feel somehow detached, and I don't know if this is down to stress (I am under so much recently) or if I am finally losing my mind. At work I had to leave for a while because I felt overwhelmed with everything, and alone it was like a surge of sheer panic. That or I stare at times at nothing, lost in what would be thoughts if I could think clearly. Maybe my mind is turning from 'reality' and that is why it all seems false, like I am about to wake up. Being in an unfamiliar country with a different language etc may also be causing this.
I had friends and a job I enjoyed, but had to move to another part of the country after being made redundant. Now I am alone to introspect on everything. I have headaches and stomach problems. I won't talk too much about the thoughts that I have that have been about imagining ending things. I pile on friend's problems onto mine, which means I can't escape all this worry. And I'm not sleeping too well. The only things I can seem to do to escape are crazy nights out, but this just leaves me feeling ill the next day and out of pocket. I feel like it's all leading to some kind of breakdown, and it's scary. Is there a way to cope with stress?

[alankay]

I think you're just having some depersonalization(http://anxietyhelp.org/articles/man_article.html?id=72).
All the stress from the move, high stress at work and new country must be factored in and so no wonder you're struggling.
Yep, don't have too much to drink if you're not feeling well as all the GABA gets released via alcohol at first but leaves you anxious the next day.
Are/were you seeing a doc on all this? You need to break this cycle of anxiety and if you cannot do it alone you should visit a doc or therapist. All the other stuff(sleep/stomach issues) are from high anxiety as well. Update me on any anxiety meds you have and I'll try and help as best I can. I think you should be on a SSRI and a short course of a benzo for now and/or talk to a counselor about all this. PM me any time. Alankay

[rhubarb83]

Hi Alankay
Thank you for your reply. I'm not quite sure where I would start with finding a therapist...there's still a certain amount of stigma here and I would need to trust someone enough to help with translation etc. I'm not even sure how my life has taken me here. As for meds all I have is an old bottle of temazapam somewhere from when I last had trouble sleeping.
I've been using alcohol to 'escape' but realise I need to find a healthier way to free myself from the stress/anxiety.
Work is incredibly stressful, just as I'm given more and more projects and there's the pressure to perform well. Maybe if I throw myself more into these jobs I wouldn't be as anxious, but my motivation is crumbling recently. I feel trapped and scared :-(

[alankay]

Well temazepam is a fine intermediate acting benzo. It would help reduce anxiety for sure. You might think of it as ativan as all benzos have the same effects some just are more often used for panic(xanax-short acting), sleep and /or anxiety(temazepam/ativan/estazolam) or "general" anxiety(valium/klonopin/cloratepate/prazepam). All can be used for anxiety but the most versatile are the intermediate acters like you have.:) They act long enough yet are still potent. All I'm saying is that for your needs temazepam can be extremely effective at reducing anxiety and improving sleep(which will help you feel better).
Have you ever been on an SSRI meds? These anti-anxiety/depression meds are good because they can be taken long term where as benzos are best taken short term just to get a patient calmed down. SSRI's need a few weeks to work but you don't build tolerance to them generally. Benzos work immediately but over months one can build tolerance, sometime not though.
So I would use this forum to talk over and share you anxieties with us folks. Talking is great as is distraction which your work might be able to provide(if you feel strong and up to it) so that might be a good goal. Get you feeling better so you can get busy with work by talking to us and others and perhaps a course(4-6 months maybe) of a med zoloft or fluoxetine to get your less anxious(anti depressants simply have anti-anxiety effects). Short term you might take some temazepam at night as it will also have some anti-anxiety effects through most of the next day. It's half life is almost 20hrs so that's good.
Can you see a GP? Do you feel your confidentiality will be assured, etc? Most docs these days are OK with prescribing an SSRI med(just tell them you used to take some a ways back) unless you feel sure about trusting the doc then just tell him the truth.
Your anxious and know SSRI's like zoloft are often tried to reduce anxiety and then ask for an RX/refill for the temazepam or whatever benzo he might Rx you. I can advise on using whatever he writes as I know all the half lives and equivalent doses, etc.
If you can't get a good/sympathetic doc(ask coworkers for a local doc I guess) to Rx I can recommend and an online pharmacy for the ssri(they don't fill benzos).
I know you may or may not want to use meds but either way PM or post to me if not just to talk and help that way. You can also try using any antihistamine as they have anti-anxiety effects to help. Try and get some aerobic exercise, do some deep breathing and progressive relaxation exercises and try to realize that you anxiety is peaking now since you are under such stress and will somehow get through. Rest assured all the crap you're feeling is just related to anxiety/stress and we are here to help. PM or post to me any time and I will try and help. Alankay.

[rhubarb83]

I've been on SSRIs in the past, but really do not like them. Weird side effects and when I stopped taking them I had horrible effects. I was taking an SSRI called citalopram (I think that was it's name) but have been on others and don't really like them. Last time I had anxiety the doctor prescribed diazepam, but only for four weeks, along with the citalopram.
I wonder if perhaps I should slow down sometimes, I mean take out some of the crazy things that keep happening to me. I have two kinds of stress at the moment...one that eats away at me, relating to work etc and the other to do with other situations, which are stressful but in a more exciting way.

[alankay]

Any stress can increase anxiety. It simulates our system which is bad for anxiety so indeed slow down a bit. If ssri's effect you badly despite taking them for a while(side effects often fade in time) see about a refill for you temezapam or valium and lean on them just "as needed". Buspar might help too. Have you looked into finding and seeing a doc?. I know finding a good one might be a challenge but worth the effort. Perhaps a TCA might be better for you side effects wise. These older AD"s like ssri's also have anti-anxiety effects. Again I know good online source for these if a doc insists on an ssri. A low dose of trazodone or doxepine might help sleep at night and be less anxious during the day. Anyway less excitement would be good for now. PM any time me if I can help. Alankay.