New here, anxiety is getting worse..

[Mrs.]

As far I remember,i've always been a bit of a worrier, but things have got out of hand the last 1-2 years. I moved countries to be with my boyfriend (now husband) and that is where my anxieties increased. As I moved abroad, (my mother tongue is English) I am not fluent in the language of my new country, and therefore do not have a job yet, (partly my worrying is holding me back, partly fear) And of course, not having a job means I have so much time to worry and obsess over the following:-

- Worrying what people think of me
- Never finding a job.
- Never mastering my new language.
- Scared of having kids.
- Worrying that life is passing me by.
- Worrying about worrying
- Googling an illness and convincing myself I have it.
- Convincing myself I have an undiagnosed illness.
- Scared of talking to people I don't know/Scared of talking to people in the street/stores who can't speak English.
- Scared of being alone outside the house without my husband.
- Fear of ending up in mental hospital
- Dying
- family Dying
- Worrying my husband will get tired of dealing with my constant worrying.

Learning the Language, and Finding a job are my biggest Anxieties, and all the others seem to stem from those. The language is proving extremely difficult because I am absolutely terrified of mispronouncing words and getting the grammar wrong, even though I realise this is part of learning! I am supposed to be going to a language course tomorrow but am talking myself out of it as we speak. I do not (as of yet) have/had any noticable physical effects from worrying. No panic attacks, just constant worrying about something. A few months ago out of nowhere I worried for days if my guests had had a good time at our wedding (which was over a year before!)

I have been open with my husband and he is very supportive, but at the same time this brings up a whole other type of anxiety, what if he begins to get annoyed because I can't stop worrying?

I am trying to figure out how to help myself here, any advice would be welcome. I am not on any medication, Thanks.

[alankay]

Mrs, seems like some GAD(Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and SA(Social Anxiety Disorder) to me. A common combo believe it or not. I have the SA plus panic(now all controlled).
If you have access to a GP at all I would visit for an RX of an SSRI like zoloft/celexa/fluoxetine. Maybe try it for 6 months or so. Who knows a therapist that speaks English might be available as well but I'm sort of assuming not for this post.
Keep in mind all the changes you've been through have to be factored in. Not that they caused anxiety per se but they made it worse as will any major stressor. An international move would be a major stressor as well as learning a new language, etc. Yes, any kind of work for you would be therapeutic for you so long as it's not too much. Anything to get your mind off yourself yet not be too stressful/anxiety provoking.
If you can find a doc that is good treating anxiety(many docs are these days) a short course of a benzo(klonopin, etc) might be a good idea just to get you out of the cycle you're in now. Often starting an SSRI with an anxious patient often will also be given a short course of an benzo to help get calmed down and to minimize any side effects from starting the ssri med.
For now get some aerobic exercise, limit caffeine and alcohol, do some deep breathing exercises and do some progressive relaxation practice. See if you can find some Sleepy Times Teas with chamomile, try some Valerian root or an antihistamine which have anti-anxiety properties.
You have been through allot of stuff recently and explains what caused your anxiety to be peaking now. PM me any time. Alankay.

[Mrs.]

Thank you for the reply, Alan. Most appreciated. I wrote something in reply to you a couple of days ago but for some reason my post was to be checked by admin and never showed up.

I definitely think your right about what kind of anxieties I have. I must say, I faced my worries and went to my language course and it was fine, makes me realise how silly blown out of proportion these worries can get. I will take a trip to my doctor at some point to talk about possible medication. Thanks :)

[alankay]

Yeah get his/her thoughts on all this and go from there. Alankay