PDA

View Full Version : Hi from Chicago (sorry if this is long!)



jane91
02-02-2012, 12:59 PM
I’m new here so I’m going to take a minute to introduce myself.
I’m a 20 year old living in Chicago, originally from the state of Indiana.

For as long as I can remember – from the time I was very young – I have struggled with anxiety. As I got older that general fear developed into OCD and depression.

I don’t really know an exact reason for why I’m like this. Part of its hereditary, I’m pretty sure, and the other part has to do with my past and growing up. I was sexually abused (sometimes violently, sometimes not) my whole life my multiple men in an associated with my family.

My anxiety in general started when I was a very young kid. Growing up I lived in fear most of the time. Some of the fears were realistic and others I’m sure weren’t. I was and still am afraid of the dark. And I also stuggle with flashbacks and anxiety attacks anytime I’m in a situation or see an object that triggers a memory of something that was done to me as a kid.

Also when I was pretty young I stated showing OCD tendancies and self-harming. Before I was 13, I remember that if my parents told me we were going out to a party or gathering where I knew some of the men who often hurt me might be, I would hit myself in the arms over and over to make bruises. I thought that if I hurt myself “enough” then I wouldn’t have to get hurt that night. If I was still sexually abused I would assume I didn’t do a good enough job. It became a ritual, and so did things like hand-washing, etc.

Around the age of 12-14 I became very depressed. I tried to kill myself and (thank God) it didn’t work. After that I just decided I should accept my life the way it was and I let the abuse go on. I numbed myself to it and tried not to let it bother me.

However, the older I got the more I started to blame myself about the abuse. I know that as a kid it wasn’t my fault, and that I tried to tell my mom but she didn’t listen. However, I can’t help but blame myself for letting it go on so long (until I was 19). I know I was old enough to stop it and I didn’t until I moved out. I also blame myself when I think of the other kids who have/might have been hurt physically and sexually like I was.

Guilt is my biggest issue and reason for depression.

I have never been on medication for it (my family mean well, but they don’t really understand mental disorders, even though a few of them suffer from their own) and I just started going to therapy now that I’ve moved out of my parents house.

I don’t just want to cope, I want to live life to the fullest. So far I’ve done my best not to ever let my fear and depression stop me, but I always have this feeling that at any moment it could all fall apart if I allow it too. I feel like I’m standing on the edge of a building every day fighting the urge to jump, if that makes any sense. I’m here to learn from other people with similar problems.

*pixiedust*
02-02-2012, 03:48 PM
Hi Jane,

Ur story fills me with sadness

U need not carry ur guilt, none of the things that have happened to u were ur fault, NONE of them. Even if u of age of consent, were drunk as a skunk, walking home on your own in the middle of the night, butt-naked, IT STILL GIVES NO MAN A SPECK OF A RIGHT TO DO ANYTHING U DONT WANT THEM TO DO, and right to hurt anybody else. It is the men that have hurt you by abusing you that are entirely in the wrong. I really wish wholehearteddly that you do not blame urself. Please, no guilt.

Congratulations on moving and seeking therapy. You will lead a happy life. To have been through what you have been through and come out the other side, u are a strong, brave individual. Keep going to the therapy, I wish you the all the best of luck, love and am here for you if u wanna talk

Much <3

alankay
02-02-2012, 04:18 PM
Jane, I can just say you will be better with therapy and maybe a period of medication if they feel you will benefit. You made it this far and there is help. I'm am just glad you reached out for it.
Guilt is a part of being depressed even though you are not guilty of anything. I think if you get relief from depression, feelings of guilt will subside. Anxiety should also be lessened big time. It will take time.
You are young and with the help that there is out there have a great chance of living the life you've dreamed of. Alankay.

Periwinkle
02-10-2012, 10:41 PM
Jane,

I'm so sorry for what you've been through...you sound very together in spite of it. You certainly shouldn't blame yourself at all. I think therapy will help, if you have a good therapist. It's difficult at first to face everything, but it will help you.

I wish I could give you a big hug! Hang in there, you aren't alone!