help

[anx]

hello this is my first post. I struggle with anxiety and I wanted to see if people on this message board could help me, because every time I try to talk to someone, they either pretend they understand, or just do not get it at all.

So i guess here's my background...

I guess my anxiety grew slowly throughout high school. I wasn't the "jock" or "nerd." I didn't have much problems with anyone. I was just a normal kid. I cared (and still do) about my grades way too much though. The problem is (and is still happening in college) that I ALWAYS think I am going to fail, no matter what type of class. I would study and still be so unconfident about myself. I just don't understand. I graduated high school with a 3.8 GPA, and I currently have a 3.5 GPA in college.

It just sucks because I know I am doing everything right with school so far, but I still doubt myself. It sounds crazy, but I over think it.

My anxiety grew immensely when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me about two years ago. That was really hard for me... but eventually I got over it. At first I was obviously heartbroken. Then my mindset would change, and I wouldn't even want to try; I just didn't care. I have "hooked up" with a couple girls, but now its kind of hard to even talk to a girl, because I feel so unconfident about that too. I mean, I do try, but most girls are just so uninteresting to me. And it always seems as if the girl I want wouldn't have any feelings back towards me. Im slowly trying to get over that stupid fear.


I also get worried about stupid things that are created from my thoughts. I feel like I am constantly thinking, and its usually a bad thing. Some things include being late, being wrong about something, etc. etc. In other words, I feel as if something bad is going to happen to me.


I am prescribed 1 mg Xanax which I am supposed to take twice a day, but I only take it once in the morning before class. I do not take it the second time because I am afraid I will build a tolerance, and I really do not want to increase my dosage.


Things that help me:

- Xanax does help, but the thing is marijuana helps more for some reason. Even just a hit.
- Listening to music helps a lot. It makes me focus and take my mind off stupid thoughts.
- Watching comedies helps too. I feel like i need laughter in my life, because I tend to be more sad than happy. It also gets my mind off of stupid things.
- Photography (I am an art major, but graphic design is my major)
- Snowboarding helps my mind go free. It lets me be creative on a rail, box, jump, etc. (plus it is exercise)


The weird thing about me is, I get worried over being late, but I am not worried about breaking a bone on a massive jump. Its strange in my eyes.

My whole situation sucks because I never used to be this way. I used to be such a happy outgoing person, but its like my life flipped a coin. I was just wondering if anyone can give me tips. I know everyone's anxiety is different, weather its mixed with depression, or the intensity of it, and that is why I chose to join this forum and post this thread.


Thank you sincerely.

[Andrews]

I find physical exercise helps. I go frisbee golfing every day for about an hour.

I have noticed that on days where I am not feeling well at all and Im not sure if I will be able to play is when I notice the biggest difference after playing a round or two. I usually feel noticably and significantly better. Whatever problems I was obsessing about fade to the backround to an extent.

More intense exercise is even better, however I have problems here because I tend to feel a significant amount of pain for the first while until my "second wind" or whatever its called kicks in. Once I get through the initial pain (and the anxiety I feel along with it) then Im okay. I am always glad afterwards that I did some heavy exercise because its like feeling calm without the medication. You should probably only do the heavier exercise if you are accustomed to it.