New here...

[neverbehappy]

Hi all,

Have avoided joining a forum like this for a long time, as I felt like my anxiety is of my own making. Decided to give it a go though to see if any feels the same way as me.

Firstly, I've had a bit of a nightmare 6 months or so, as my dad passed away last August (alcoholism and depression finally did it for him). I discovered his body and feel like I should have done much more for him. I can now understand his downward spiral.

I worry about things continually and lately it has got to the point that I don't feel I can function daily. I feel like eventually something bad is going to happen and that it is pointless making an effort at work or in relationships. When I am at work, I just want to be on my own at home.

I have a doctors appointment in the morning, I am hoping that they can help. Just wondering how I am going to articulate this all to the doctor. I feel so scared to open up, as if they will say I am talking rubbish. I just want to be relaxed, I'm always on edge, worried about what people think of me. Feels a lot of the time like people are trying to sabotage my life (that sounds stupid I know).

Anyway, not sure if anyone can identify, but hello anyway!


Thanks!

neverbehappy

[Periwinkle]

Never,

So sorry for your loss of your Dad, I can kind of relate, my brother killed himself last August. Depression and alcoholism too. I can't imagine discovering the body like you did. I do understand about thinking you should have done more to help. I think the same thing. But you can only do so much and people will get help when they decide to. I'm glad you have a dr. appt. I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago. I talked to my family doctor and he was so understanding. I was very nervous about saying anything, but it got so bad, I just had to do something. I think it's important to open up to your dr. Mine told me that depression is just like anything else, high blood pressure, etc. Sometimes you just need to take something for it, just like high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. I felt very relieved that my doc seemed to understand and didn't think I was nuts.

Hang in there, there are a lot of great people on this forum and since I've joined I don't feel so alone.

[neverbehappy]

Thanks so much Periwinkle, your reply means a lot. if everyone on this board is like you I think it will be a big help.

[Periwinkle]

Never,

You are so welcome...there are a lot of great people with great info on this forum...I just joined a couple of weeks ago, anxiety and stress with the holidays and having trouble getting over my brother's death. Hang in there...you are NOT alone!

[nicky_nicole]

Hi Never,
I am so sorry about your father. There is no easy way to find out someone you care about has passed but finding him is plain terrible! My heart is with you.
I know just how you feel about people thinking what you are saying isn't true or that they will just judge you. I have been fighting with those same thoughts for as long as I can remember. One thing that helped me was to make a list of the problems I was having and just read that list to my doctor. I just prefered listing things off instead of having to add the "i feel", "i have", ect...those felt really scary for me to say at first. I thought if I could remove myself a little from my thoughts and worries I would not be so judged by the doctor. I don't know if that will help you or not but trust me, you are not alone. You and me are really similar :)