Dread in stomach?

[smugleaf]

Hey guys,

For most of my life whenever i get anxious or worry over something even if its very trivial, i get this 'dread' in my stomach, followed by a panicky feeling where I want to cry and I just feel uneasy. I hate this stomach thing. The only thing that seems to help with it, is the passing of time, solving the problem (if it can be solved) and a good nights sleeps and i feel heaps better the next day. its like sleep is a 're-set- button' for my stomach dread. And some times its there but a low level where i hardy notice it but it will flare up badly when I worry about something.

I seem to worry about the most stupidest things that a normal person would never think/worry of which sets of my stomach. And the thoughts will keep looping and looping in my head until I try and re-ensure, its nothing, its not a big deal. And I really really hate change unless its good change and I like it.

Example of some of the things that causes dread in stomach;

1.
If I ever move house i won't get a PERFECT train timetable and then i would have to get up a different weird time then i am used to. like instead of 7:00 I might have to get up at 6:40 or something. I love Timetables that are even or close, like 8:10 bus to catch the 8:28am train. I would HATE to have to catch a train thats like 8:17 or something, that would screw me up in the morning.

I would obsess about that problem all day, even though I am not moving house and i don't think I will be anytime soon. I even get scared if the train companie changes the timetable or bus timetable as i like them the way they are. -__-

2. That if my light blew out i will never be happy again, as what if they don't make that globe anymore. Dumb I know.

3. When I Hit 30 my metabolism will slow down and then i will gain weight and people won't want to be friends with me anymore, and my family won't love me. :/

4. If i watch a TV show and I love it, but if I find a trivial flaw or maybe its just a passing thought and it doesn't agree with me I get that dread feeling in an instant.

5. Whether i like this state better or the other state better (where i live). I i would go through all the reasons for both and it will keep looping and looping in my heap and I would be all dread and panic.

6. If I get another house and the natural lighting is very bad and I couldn't feel happy.

7. I have to upgrade my 16:9 TV to a new format in the future as alot of the movies are being shot in 2.35:1, and that upsets me. Can't we keep things the way they are?

I got much much more but I think I will leave it at that, and I hope these a good enough examples to see what problem(s) I have and if anything that can do to help :D

[jessed03]

Don't take this the wrong way smugleaf, because I was identical. It sounds a little to me like you have an issue with control. Control takes the same form as an addiction really. It's a constant need for it, and when we don't get it, we get that same uncomfortable feeling a junkie gets when they don't know if they'll get a fix. I think a strong need for control does stem from anxiety. Usually for three reasons; the first is that we doubt our ability to handle a situation not of our own making (this is usually untrue, but certain types of parenting, or life situations may cause us to believe this), the second is due to a sensitive ego. Not in the sense of arrgogance, like a movie star, but in the way all humans have. We all desire to be fed, to be safe and to be happy. However some people can take it further (this doesn't make them bad, and it's through no fault of their own) but they feel the need to have certain things under their control, and within their power. This gives them an illusion of life circumstances being permanent.

I think the key to overcoming anxiety is realizing every single thing is impermanent. Everything will change, eventually. I think this gives people a slight sense of freedom. They sort of wake up from this hypnosis like state of robotic action "Must...control...this... then.... must...do...that...". This allows them to realize it's a bucket with a hole in it. It will never be full, because as soon as something has been put in, it's leaked out, and something else must take it's place. This gives them the freedom to realize they don't have to fight life, it isn't an enemy, it just is. It can take them a long time to comprehend it, but life becomes simple when you flow with it. Suddenly you aren't fighting against the current anymore, heading towards that waterfall, you're sailing along with the wind on your side. I think it's an important part of life to acknowledge we can't control anything really. We have a segment of our mind that wants to believe we can. It want's to have some control, it want's to have permanance, but it knows it never can, and so desperately tries to none the less unless we stop it. That feeling of dread you feel, isn't dread necassarily, but merely tension. It's that part of your brain that says, fix this desire, make me permanent. Some people desire fast cars or women for that feeling, you have this. It's simply a case of tomato tomato We can tell it's never really about the object in question, as once it's 'sorted' within days there is another object with our awareness, something else that needs to be 'fixed' and after that another. I think once you let go of this need for control, as tough as it can be, your mind shift's into a different part of the brain. This is a part of awareness, it's where the saying 'being at one' comes from. You realize you're a part of everything, and not against everything.

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be"

The 3rd cause, and this is massive with anxiety sufferers across the board: Lack of presence, and TOO MUCH INSIDE OF THEIR OWN HEAD! I mean wow smugleaf, what a complete web of illusion and 'what if's' you've created in your mind :) I know you didn't deliberately do it, so don't be hard on yourself. It's just a natural human condition. Most people are utterly consumed by thought. The real world passes us by because we're too busy inside of our heads, creating these imaginary circumstances, and deciding how we feel about something. I remember so vividly, being a very similar way to you, fearful of small aspects of my life affecting my equilibrium. I remember one time I had an awful cold, and wasn't sleeping. I went through the day in sort of a zombie like state. It was the best I had felt in years. I couldn't work out why, until it hit me. My mind was neutral. I wasn't spending every ounce of my time and energy, analyzing whether something was good or bad, analyzing every possible situation my mind could conceive about a specific topic. Now I'm not saying be a zombie, no way, life's too beautiful. I'm saying focus your focus on things outside your head. The clearer your mind, the more you will see your problems vanish. Because they aren't actually real, they're just very life like illusions...

...And if they some day become real? Well you will be so focused on the world around you, ya know... the real one, instead of stuck in that dark attic we call the mind, that your senses will be so heightened, you'll have a far greater chance of finding the best solution. The future is like a nightmare. We're constantly told it's a beautiful thing, but it reality it isn't. It doesn't exist. There has never been a moment in your life that was 'the future', only a whole load of 'Right now's'. We see all these things heading towards us in our future (good or bad) and we can't do anything. We can't experience the good, and we can't avoid the bad. Simply because there is no physicality to it, ever. And so we go through our life, focused on the future, with this DREAD in our stomach, this sense of restless anxiety. Worry over whether the good things will materialize, and fear or avoiding the bad things. We constantly try to reach out our arms (a metaphor meaning we try to do various things to gain our control of it) but we can never grasp anything, and once we navigate through that maze in our mind, and get close to it, we realize it's just a puff of smoke, and within weeks a new one is there. It's crazy to think we live our whole life like this, and then wonder why we fill so unfulfilled and disconnected.

For me, I had huge issues with control, over myself, over others and over circumstances. Not in the way people think, i.e. we go where I say, but in the small details of life. I actually had massive OCD. IT was almost impossible to treat, as it was so subtle. It wasn't simply a desire to wash my hands, or a fear of not performing a ritual, it was in the most minute details of life. The advice above is what sent it into remission for me, and what I think will set you onto a path to releasing a lot of this tension you feel. Don't worry if you don't get it just yet, and don't take anything personally. It's all just the challenges of being human :)

[smugleaf]

Hey there, :D

Thanks for the detailed response. What you wrote there made alot of sense, that I always have to be in control of the situation and I hate change type things and I over anaylize things in my head so I try to avoid the dread or fix the dread feeling.

I also been diagnosed with ADD but I haven't talked to my specialst about this dread in stomach thing as I would of felt dumb XD. Do you think I am some form of OCD Anxiety? Also one day I tried Krill oil and after 2-3 days I felt amazing, I had no nervousness or anxiety/dread in stomach, then sadly the krill oil stopped working, so I tried it again but its not working this time and this upsets me as I thought I found a cure for this problem I have sigh.