shumes
01-20-2012, 01:05 PM
Hey guys :)
A little background on myself. I'm a 19 year old freelance writer who has a passion for writing, photography and herpetology. I've had symptoms of anxiety ever since I can remember. I think one of the biggest triggers was my home life when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, my parents are wonderful! But in the earlier years of my life their own marriage problems severely affected me. I coped just fine with my anxiety up until my sophomore year in highschool. My parents decided to take me out of school because of the grades I was getting (I was a little too preoccupied with socializing than my grades). Being homeschooled was great but was affecting me badly without me even realizing it.
Flash forward to today.
From being cooped up at home for a few years has increased my anxiety triggers tenfold. I guess because I was exposed to situations in highschool that I may not have been comfortable with regularly I learned to cope. Well being away from people, sometimes at home for a week at a time, has really taken it's toll. I live in a rural area that is 30 minutes from town makes it that much worse. I have symptoms of panic attacks when I am in busy public places as well as when I have to talk on the phone with people. My expectations of myself and others are always extremely high which causes horrible tension between me and my loved ones. When I get even slightly stressed I begin feeling foggy and everywhere except in the present. I have quite a few of these issues that I desperately want to work out.
The reason I decided to join this forum is because of an anxiety problem surronding my boyfriend that has been going on for nearly 2 weeks now. I have been with him for 3 years in March and love him dearly. He is the sweetest, most patient and caring person on the face of the planet. He is always understanding of my anxiety disorder even though he can not relate. He deals with my anger, confusion and constant back-and-forth. Lately I have been doubting whether him and I should be together simply because of a comment my mom said about him. I feel horrible because I'm struggling so badly with what to do. I get so pent up that I end up lashing out at him because I can't stop these thoughts. I do love him to pieces and I don't believe that I am with him because I am afraid of being alone.
I've just been struggling so much these past few weeks to the point that I dread waking up because I know these thoughts will be back. I started reading from Panic to Power a few days ago and it was bittersweet. Nearly everything that was stated in the book is exactly how I feel. Now I understand that the issues I have are related to an anxiety disorder. I really love forums and connecting with people so I hope that I'll be able to find the support and help I am looking for.
Savannah
A little background on myself. I'm a 19 year old freelance writer who has a passion for writing, photography and herpetology. I've had symptoms of anxiety ever since I can remember. I think one of the biggest triggers was my home life when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, my parents are wonderful! But in the earlier years of my life their own marriage problems severely affected me. I coped just fine with my anxiety up until my sophomore year in highschool. My parents decided to take me out of school because of the grades I was getting (I was a little too preoccupied with socializing than my grades). Being homeschooled was great but was affecting me badly without me even realizing it.
Flash forward to today.
From being cooped up at home for a few years has increased my anxiety triggers tenfold. I guess because I was exposed to situations in highschool that I may not have been comfortable with regularly I learned to cope. Well being away from people, sometimes at home for a week at a time, has really taken it's toll. I live in a rural area that is 30 minutes from town makes it that much worse. I have symptoms of panic attacks when I am in busy public places as well as when I have to talk on the phone with people. My expectations of myself and others are always extremely high which causes horrible tension between me and my loved ones. When I get even slightly stressed I begin feeling foggy and everywhere except in the present. I have quite a few of these issues that I desperately want to work out.
The reason I decided to join this forum is because of an anxiety problem surronding my boyfriend that has been going on for nearly 2 weeks now. I have been with him for 3 years in March and love him dearly. He is the sweetest, most patient and caring person on the face of the planet. He is always understanding of my anxiety disorder even though he can not relate. He deals with my anger, confusion and constant back-and-forth. Lately I have been doubting whether him and I should be together simply because of a comment my mom said about him. I feel horrible because I'm struggling so badly with what to do. I get so pent up that I end up lashing out at him because I can't stop these thoughts. I do love him to pieces and I don't believe that I am with him because I am afraid of being alone.
I've just been struggling so much these past few weeks to the point that I dread waking up because I know these thoughts will be back. I started reading from Panic to Power a few days ago and it was bittersweet. Nearly everything that was stated in the book is exactly how I feel. Now I understand that the issues I have are related to an anxiety disorder. I really love forums and connecting with people so I hope that I'll be able to find the support and help I am looking for.
Savannah