After the Overdose-

[Clueless]

I just got out of hospital, after overdosing. Had to drink charcoal and be their ragdoll, but I'm better now-sort of. In the hospital, they told me that when I return I should let my family know how much I love them and give them all a hug- so I did and apologised, because they called me selfish- I disagree, but hate to think I hurt them. My brother's giving me evil looks and letting me know how disgusted he is with me and chanting "selfish" over and over again, how do I make it up to him? Should I even bother?

[Sunny Days]

Hi there. What did you overdose on (if you don't mind me asking)? This was intentional? Yes, I do think you should bother. Family and true friends (which are far and few inbetween) are something to be cherished. You have to understand that they may be having all sorts of emotions towards you right now, alot of anger probably, but that is because they love you and don't want to lose you! I think you should talk to them. Let your feelings out. Did you do this because of an anxiety disorder/panic disorder?

[Clueless]

Hi there. What did you overdose on (if you don't mind me asking)? This was intentional? Yes, I do think you should bother. Family and true friends (which are far and few inbetween) are something to be cherished. You have to understand that they may be having all sorts of emotions towards you right now, alot of anger probably, but that is because they love you and don't want to lose you! I think you should talk to them. Let your feelings out. Did you do this because of an anxiety disorder/panic disorder?

Yes sunny, it was intentional, my dad was giving me a lecture on how I needed to find a job if I ever wanted to find my way, it just confirmed my worries- and I realised how much a burden I was to them all. I grabbed whatever I could from the pill drawer- Nurofen, Anadin, Paracetamol, some of my dad's heart pills, sorry I forget the name, just know they're to help high blood pressure and asprin. I do agree, it's important but I lost most of my friends anyway- and what I'm left with, just think of me as weird and don't understand why I've done this. I let my feelings out- but to my mum, who spent the night with me and understands. And yes, I suffer from anxiety and depression- definitely played a major part.

[Sunny Days]

I see. ((Hugs)) I know how hard anxiety and depression can be...and those who do not have either will never fully understand. It sounds like there is alot of pressure on you. I'd be willing to bet that your Dad is just trying to give you that push because he probably feels that a job will give you more confidence and help you overcome this. I am sure your not really a burden, but they want what is best for you (without understanding all of this completely). Be grateful for your mum. My mom is understanding about my anxiety too...and when I need to talk she stays patient with me (even though sometimes it's the same things over and over).

What I find interesting is the fact that alot of people with anxiety are terrified of dying and you tried to overdose. My anxiety is based around health phobias (fear primarily of heart attacks and dying). I wish I could live to be 100 haha! No matter how bad the panic attacks were, or the depression that came from them...I always keep trying to push through. Maybe, if you can find just a little bit of courage...be a little more patient and kind to yourself. Realize that this is SO common, alot of people have this and there are things we can do to retrain our minds. I think your too hard on yourself right now. Clueless I wont try and preach to anyone, but are you spiritual? I have found that praying and also practicing being "mindful" has really helped!

[muzikluvr79]

I'm glad you are okay and although you are probably not happy with the outcome, there are many that are. I can pretty much bet that your family is upset because they love you and they don't know what you are feeling. Perhaps being more open with them will help?

[alankay]

Clueless, they need to understand that you doing that was a cry for help. A measure of your distress. I mean it's not like did that because you can't have steak every night. You are anxious and depressed and need help. Didn't the docs at the hosp. refer you??

[IndependentJenn]

I feel a lot of sadness for what your going through right now. I wish you didnt feel this way but I think we all do at some point. The fact that you overdosed just means that you got to a really low point and didnt want to feel the pain. Please know that we may never be truly understood by our families or friend bc they havent always been on our shoes. We cant blame them, and I'd hope they wouldnt blame us. Please remember I am here for you. I am your friend! Depression will take us over and so will negativity and it sounds like your family (With the exception of your mom) arent being so positive themselves! <3 <3 <3 Hope things get better for you!

Jenn

[smugleaf]

I feel for you. Its horrible how your family kept telling you 'your selfish' when it fact thats not true. Having those suicidal feelings is the worst thing in the world, and for your family to tell you that are horrible, its actually takes alot of courage to do what you did, as its really frighting and scary to go through with it. Hope you feel better :D. Your not selfish at at. You just panicked :C

[Clueless]

I see. ((Hugs)) I know how hard anxiety and depression can be...and those who do not have either will never fully understand. It sounds like there is alot of pressure on you. I'd be willing to bet that your Dad is just trying to give you that push because he probably feels that a job will give you more confidence and help you overcome this. I am sure your not really a burden, but they want what is best for you (without understanding all of this completely). Be grateful for your mum. My mom is understanding about my anxiety too...and when I need to talk she stays patient with me (even though sometimes it's the same things over and over).

What I find interesting is the fact that alot of people with anxiety are terrified of dying and you tried to overdose. My anxiety is based around health phobias (fear primarily of heart attacks and dying). I wish I could live to be 100 haha! No matter how bad the panic attacks were, or the depression that came from them...I always keep trying to push through. Maybe, if you can find just a little bit of courage...be a little more patient and kind to yourself. Realize that this is SO common, alot of people have this and there are things we can do to retrain our minds. I think your too hard on yourself right now. Clueless I wont try and preach to anyone, but are you spiritual? I have found that praying and also practicing being "mindful" has really helped!

I never feared death, until last night. Oh god, my world has just flipped upside down Sunny. My dad just died. He called my name, in such pain and died of a heart attack. I think it's all my fault, he must have been worrying about the overdose and blaming himself. I don't know what to do without him. He was my rock figure, and now he's gone. I understand now how silly overdosing was, I wish I hadn't done it. I just created a reason to suffer. I was never spiritual but after witnessing death I find it hard not to be, I like to think he's out there.

[Clueless]

Clueless .

Glad you are alright . Please remember that there is no coming back from death . Life is never that bad that you need to do that . If you have problems then find someone to talk to . There are people that will understand .

I think that it would do everyone in your family to get some conselling in . Other people in your family could then learn what you are going though .

I also cant understand why you are home , i had a friend try to top herself a few weeks back and they refused to let her leave the ER until she looked at by the mental health team .

cheers kev :)

Someone did come around to check on me, gave me a few tips, asked how I was feeling, and then I was free to leave.

[Clueless]

I feel a lot of sadness for what your going through right now. I wish you didnt feel this way but I think we all do at some point. The fact that you overdosed just means that you got to a really low point and didnt want to feel the pain. Please know that we may never be truly understood by our families or friend bc they havent always been on our shoes. We cant blame them, and I'd hope they wouldnt blame us. Please remember I am here for you. I am your friend! Depression will take us over and so will negativity and it sounds like your family (With the exception of your mom) arent being so positive themselves! <3 <3 <3 Hope things get better for you!

Jenn

Thank you Jenn, I didn't understand them at first, but now I know they were angry because they cared. I understand, it's not nice to see anyone in pain, especially not those you love.