What's wrong with me?

[krista1982]

Hi there...i posted this in welcome...but just realized this may be more approprate...

I have read some posts on here and it seems most people have been dealing with anxiety for several years. I think this just happened to me now...

To sum it all up: I am a 24 year old female..i have a wedding in 5 months, my brother died in 2003, my father has 2 -5 years to live, my parents just got divorced, I have a super demanding job and my fiance and I have been separted for 7 months now due to immigration (he finally gets to come back in January)...etc etc. oh..and i have exams in my part-time university classes

Lately, i have been getting very nausous and i have had abdominal pain the last two days and i just want to sleep. I went to the doctor and he suggested i seek help and gave me Effexor. I found out that i have been having panic attacks lately and i knew i had depression but this is the first time i have ever felt so afraid, dizzy and had adominal pain that doesnt want to go away!!! If this doesnt leave me soon, i dont know some of you have dealt with this for years...its been about a week at this worst point now and i am going nuts!!!! I am doing things without reason...like just not caring about my assignments from university and avoiding all fun get-togethers... and the worst is the panic attacks in the drive thru.....

Can anyone help me?

i almost feel more afriad reading some of the problems anxiety causes on here....what is happening to me?????

[morphboy]

Hi Krista

So sorry you're having a bad time at the moment. Nausea, Abdominal Pains and Dizziness have certainly been some of my prevalent anxiety symptoms but please make sure your doctor checks everything out.

If it is anxiety related, which wouldn't be surprising considering the awful time you have had lately. Rest, gentle exercise and finding relaxing things to occupy your mind will be the best overall way to reduce these symptoms - this is difficult for you I understand cos you're at University and you have a high powered job - Your doctor has already started the ball rolling by suggesting therapy - somebody to help you put part of your life into perspective and slow down a bit.

In the meantime....please please please don't obsess on your physical symptoms....it will just make you even more anxious.....you're new to this and you're in a good position to escape the 'anxiety - symptoms - heightened anxiety - worse symptoms' cycle that a lot of us go through on here.

Take it easy and keep posting to let us know how you're doing :)

[shsnj]

It's no wonder you're anxious. You're under an extraordinary amount of stress. Under the circumstances, it would be a rare person who wouldn't be suffering deeply.

I agree that you should have the abdominal pain checked out.

[krista1982]

thank you for answering me.
Here's an update:

After i posted this, i decided to take one of the pills. I woke up to got to class Saturday morning with abnormal vision, extreme nervouseness and dizziness. I decided to stay in bed half the day.

I continued to take the pill the following day as well. i am no longer taking it. I just felt like some zombie that was incapable of having any feelings...like the feelings button in my body got shut off. My abdominal pains did go away though but i didnt want to take the meds.

The very next day at work i was back where i started. I called a counselor and made an appt and told my boss that i am very overwhelmed with the work and if he could spare adding on more until i catch up. That seemed to help the pains a bit.

I had a nightmare that i was on a cliff of a roadway and all around me there are cars crashing and truck flying off hte cliff and i have no where to hide for cover...i am sure that i a symbol of how i am feeling.

On the 29th i am going to see my fiance in portugal. We have been sepearated for 7 months...the anticipation of that and with the anxieties of being on a plane are making it seem that much harder to deal with.
I am afriad i am going to have an attack on the plain....i am going to be talking to my counselor about that tomorrow. I am also going to start trying to go to the gym again.

Right now, i do not have any abdominal pains...when the doctor was checking me out, he told me the causes is that my abs muscles are so tight.

I am just so glad i dont have that feeling that somethign is out to get me anymore, at least not right now.

Anyway, i keep checking in. Thank you for hte advice.
I have an exam tomorrow...its 1am and i havent studied...the worst part is i just dont care.

[newhere]

Well, here is my insight that may (I hope) help some... I had no (real) anxiety problems until a very stressful set of issues pushed me over the edge.

I went on lexapro also. I didn't like it. It initially gave me some strong physcial stomach problems to adjust to. After that I was fine, but didn't think it really helped alot. The withdrawls are terrible... once I was on it for some time, come down off it would leave me feeling dizzy.

All I can say it I have been able to make it through everything so far... but each time as I am going through something it always is a challenge.

I take prozac now. Still don't know if its a big help at all, but I take it and hope. :-) Support is a probably the best medicine.

[krista1982]

Thank you newhere.
After i posted last night i never studied for the exam today. I just didnt care. I never finished the assignemnt, because i didnt care. In fact, i was supposed to get out of bed at 7:45 am because i needed to leave at 8:15 to make it to my exam in time and i watched the time tick and rolled out of bed at 8:30.

I was late for the exam. i bullshitting my way though it. I just don't care about it. I don't care about work, i don't care about going out, i would rather just lie in my bed and thats it. I really need the christmas holidays. I didnt get any sleep last night and was considering starting to take hte meds again but decided that i should wait to talk to my doc.

If i stay here in my bed, then i dont feel any stress. I can just stay here and not deal with anyone. that is what i have done all day when i got back from the exam.

and i know that is my way of escaping. I always have to find a way to escape and not face anything and when i am forced to deal with it i panic. I guess its better than becoming an alcholic like my father, or die from drugs like my cousin.

I played a SIMS game today. I couldnt even keep the damn character in the game happy for more than two days.

anyways, thank you for your support. I should take a shower and go force myself to smile now.

[newhere]

I can't be too supportive today. I woke up this morning with everything churning in my head... I think the anxiety was rolling before I was even actually awake. But the time I awoke it was out of control.

I have some life stresses going on right now betweek job, family and others. Will have to start my own top message thread.

Hold on till the holidays. You can do it.

[krista1982]

Newhere i hope you are dealing ok with all the things you have going on. I understand. I almost feel that even if no one replies then at least i got it all out.

After i posted this...i started looking forward to my trip...my exams are now over...i got a little kick start and was able to clean the house..i actually wanted to get out of bed. A lady at work, whom has been helping me, asked me how i was doing and i told her i was happy...i went shopping and bought some things for me and that cheered me up. It must have been temporary.

This week i have found that (while i am happy) i start thinking that maybe i dont need the meds and maybe it was just a phase and i am ok now, that maybe i don't need a counselor after all...then tonight i dont know what happened, my mood just completely changed. I am depressed, sad, in my own world. I feel so alone but at the same time i do not want to talk to people, even my friends..the little i have left. To top it off, when i get like this i start thinking stupid things like my fiance is cheating on me and i scrutinize everything he says. For example, we spoke over the phone while he was going to work and he said "ok then, so we will talk later?" And my mind immediately went to thinknig that he doesnt want to talk to me. that he must want to get off the phone to talk to someone else WHAT IS WRONG WIHT ME? We have been discussing him joining hte army. For my reasoning, i do not agree. But he really wants to do it. i look at it as he wants to be away from me so he can have his fun elsewhere why i sit alone at home. I knew these thoughts were stupid so i didnt say anything..then when we got off the phone i could not function the rest of this night. I just burst into tears. I am in this mood i can't get out of. Maybe i was wrong about needing hte counselor...but i felt so happy earlier!!!!! I dont want to take any antidepressants...i have thought of having a drink tonight, but i have yet to do that...i won't allow myself (my dad is dying from scherrosis of the liver - alcholic). But it may help me sleep , and i am not going to let myslef. That is why i have decided to write everything here...it might help me.

Why the hell do i feel so down? I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!! I do not have exams anymore, i am going to see my fiance in a week, i am on holidays soon so what the #!ck is wrong wiht me??? It just seems like i will never be happy. i cant even force myself to think positive. i just want to stay in bed. There are stressful things going on in my life but i cannot find hte cause of it right now. I have asked myself "is it because ofChristmas and not having your brother around anymore?" "is it the lack of sunlight?" "is it the whole christmas shopping thing?" "is it the wedding, is it money" maybe its just my frickin brain cant function.....or the fact i have my period...which in case i cant wait to get back on the pill saturday, maybe it will fix my screwed up hormones....
i have battled boughts of depression before,especially after my brother's death but this is the topper....the worst part of all of it is that depression stays, how the hell can i be happy and in an instant switch to this? who know, maybe i was just fooling myself.

Crystal

[missjonna25]

i understand what you mean about becoming nonchalant with schoolwork.... because i do that all the time when i'm anxious. but let me tell you something worth knowing... there's nothing more important than your emotional health.

[gonzo1028]

First off i am totally new to this site, but I justwanted to comment on your post. You have been through a ton of things. Believe it or not many people have been through many of these same things. Everyones body has a different way of dealing with things. I, like you have also had a rough couple of years. I have never been the nerveous type. Till mid 06'. Here are a few things I have personally picked up. Don't let you general practicioner prescribe drugs for depression or anxiety for you. And if they do. i would start with the smallest amounts and work your way up. it kind of scares me a dr. would prescribe effexor right away. i don't think some of these guys realize the tramatic effects these medicines cause. I would not say you are dealing with depression at this point, sound like GAD. I would thin BuSpar or Xanax would be a better place to start, there are much fewer side effects. The bottomline as with all anxiety is you need to heal yourself, Med's are great to mask or create an illusion that things are better, but the thing is the issues are still the same issues that cause your anxiety. The meds should be used as a tool to assist you in makeing mental changes in the way you view things. i know this sounds easier said then done but you need to strengthen your mind, and realize you have little control over the misfortunes of life. Keep care of your self, your health will suffer greatly with anxiety. i personally suffer from health anxiety. every little problem I get I am on the web looking for answers, and even when I find positive answers I search for negative answers. I work my self up till the point I feel like not getting up, or really lazy and lathargic. My family suffers through it as I get irritated easily and angry.
I personally feel better talking about it or reading these types of forums. See someone though see a psyhciatrist, let him make a proper evaluation of what you are going through, let him prescribe what he feels best for your situation. i am not a dr. but i think effecor is a little extreme for what you are going through. If you need to chat let me know.