Completely detached

[NativeLady_2010]

I was at work tonight. Almost two hours ago now. i am a bartender at a casino. I deal with anxiety anyway and have many coping skills that get me thro if need be. But tonight was busy (new years eve), then as I was counting quarters from the tip jar, I "floated away", my hands wasn't my own. I felt like I was completly detached, worse then I have ever felt. I couldn't even pretend. I was lucky my mom was there. I had to ask security to let me leave. Luckily my supervisor is very nice. He seen how shaky I was and let me leave. But now its almost 2 hours later and I still feel gone. I'm not really panicking but I feel "not myself" I keep crying. They best way to describe it is I feel like I was sitting in reallly hot water and my body is tingling. Then I keep getting that nails on a chalkboard feeling in my jaw. I'm losing it. I feel "light" like I'm floating. And every other minute I have to cry or grit my teeth. Ohhhh its so bad right now.

[jon mike]

Sounds like you need to get some sleep and try to relax, if your not used to that feeling it can be very unnerving at first, as soon as you realise that these things are either there or not there and you don't care if they are the quicker they dissolve in seconds. Seriously I remember something similar happening to me for the first time and I rang an ambulance :-) ha ha. You'll be fine! X

[NativeLady_2010]

Thanks for replying! Well things are still rocky. At the very least I have pin pointed the problem. You see, my grandmother is dying. She is a big part of my life, I lived with her off and on throughout my life. She spent countless hours on the phone with me bringing me down from panic attacks. Shes my rock, her and my mother are the ppl that pull me back to earth when I feel like I am floating away. She is in ICU and her heart valve is closing. They stopped her blood pressure meds and now we are all holding vigil around her. Myself my cousins and her 7 kids. I watching her die. I feel so helpless. And that night at the casino last week just blew me off my feet. They stopped her meds this week and I think I had the panic attack at work because I knew this was coming. Even though I know why I am feeling like this I still can't make it stop. I have moments where I feel like I am not in my body. I look down at my hands and they aren't my own. I wake up from sleep and I can feel myself slip into anxiety. I haven't been back to work since the panic attack. I don't think that I will be able to go back. Even the thought of going to work makes me "float away". My life is unraveling, and its because of Anxiety and Panic.