I'm a noob.

[SearchingforAnswers]

Hello all,
I did a search for anxiety forums and this was Google's first suggestion. I trust Google :)

To start, I'm 27 and I seem to be in a bit of a quarter-life crisis. I don't know everything that brought this on but I find myself questioning and fearful of things that I never used to be...I hope to find avenues on this forum that will allow me to discuss them and possibly find answers for.

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder in February of 2010 and immediately got on Zoloft and Klonopin. I was going to therapy. I was going to support groups. Once my ex-girlfriend left our relationship, the depression seemed to lift and the anxiety subsided a bit. But I sort of drowned myself in alcohol, cigarettes, and sex...my 3 backup tools for many years now.

Recently, I began questioning this behavior. I realized that there are things about my life that I should change if I ever want to have a meaningful relationship with kids and the wife and the dog and cats and all that. And with all this questioning and fear, the anxiety began to show its ugly face.

I went back to counseling recently. We're due for our third visit next Wednesday. I don't take prescriptions anymore but if the anxiety gets unbearable, I will pop a Klonopin and the logical thought eventually comes back. Occasionally, symptoms of depression show up, but that might be due to alcohol and/or the occasional cocaine use. I'm sure both culprits play a role.

I'm here because I want answers. I want to find a peaceful mind one day. I'm also interested in helping others because often, I find that it helps myself.

It's nice to find a welcome here...to our futures...cheers. :)

[alankay]

Welcome! Are you going to restart the zoloft for a while anyway? Good idea to back off the coke for sure. I enjoy a few beers on Fri. night but that's about all. Gotta have a little levity sometime!:) Otherwise I find the "cleaner" I live, the less anxious I am(good diet, exercise, etc):)

[SearchingforAnswers]

Thanks for the response, alankay.
I don't want to start the Zoloft back up at all. The side effects were awful. I took my last month of pills and cut them all in half and stretched that last month out to 2 months. I thought that was enough ween time. I still have 4 klonopin left and I will use them if need be. Otherwise, I prefer to live my life off of drugs.

I certainly could benefit from a "cleaner" life. I haven't exactly been a model citizen in my days. But really, most people would say that I'm a great guy. I can go days without alcohol and the only time I smoke is when I drink. And the only time I use recreational drugs is when I'm drunk. I think many would say I do the binge thing. Because when I hit it, I hit it hard. I exercise fairly regularly and I have quite a few healthy friendships. It's just that life's vices have REALLY been a part of my everyday life...booze, drugs, and sex.

I've been tossing around the idea that maybe a 30-day detox is what my mind needs to start processing thoughts in the proper way. What do you think?

[alankay]

Nah, a detox while inpatient? Nah. Not unless THEY have control of you and not vise versa. Hell I smoke when I have my beers(1 or 2 smokes). Sex decreases anxiety but the others should be cut back if you can find the will and curiosity to do so. Sex raises GABA and relieves stress and anxiety:):). Too much alcohol drops GABA the next day, feels crummy(but manageable for most of us).
Now, Coke messes with dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine(a serotonin–norepinephrine–dopamine reuptake inhibitor) and kind of knocks them off balance for a while. That's the one I'd really reduce/eliminate at least for a while to see how it feels. Now a 30 day detox just on your own? Hell yeah! Absolutely!!!! Zoloft sides were that bad? Another ssri like fluoxetine might be helpful for a say 6 month trial but I give the abstinence from coke a big chance as I think you'd benefit. One change at a time to see what effects what and by how much, etc. I take lexapro and have no sides to speak of. Message me any time.

[SearchingforAnswers]

Sorry, I should've specified. I wasn't talking about an in-patient detox. I was talking about abstaining from alcohol, nicotine, and recreational drug use on my own. I haven't used cocaine since the 17th, I believe. The morning of the 19th was an awful fucking morning. That week was when I decided to seek a counselor.
Thanks for the open invite to message you. I'm not opposed to seeking help when I need it.

[alankay]

Yeah lay off the stuff and I'd bet you'll feel much better. Can't do any harm giving that a try, no way! Back in my 20's I had those 3 day holiday weekends with friends/family and parties and could really tell the longer the party, the worse the day after and then some.
Give it all a trial rest and go from there. No need to change the bedroom habits at least.:):)

[Eudaimonia3]

I enjoyed reading this! I still am in the limbo of knowing I am capable of reaching peace of mind but I can't really figure out how to yet. Successfully. And I get more anxious because I know it affects all my relationships. Anxiety is a funny, sad thing. Best of luck with managing yours- hope you get a lot out of this site! I just joined.