Living on Lorazepam

[Qofcheez]

I have a long history of problems and inability to relax. Born with Asperger's, developed borderline personality disorder then got bipolar.

In the last year or two I started getting really bad anxiety problems. At it's worst, I was gagging all the time, and eventually it turned into vomiting for three days straight until I was hospitalized.

Been ok for a while, but the gagging is back and getting worse everyday. I feel like I'm starting to get agoraphobic because it's worse the minute I step outside.

I don't know what to do anymore, I'm practically living on benzos and there's not option for therapy. I started therapy when I was 10 and it didn't do much back then. Now I am in Beijing and don't speak Chinese.

Best the doc can offer is a relaxing few days in a dilapidated asylum in Beijing.

Why the anxiety? I'd list the reasons but you name it, likely I'll check it off.

I just can't stand this gagging. And knowing that the cold air really sets it off makes me less and less willing to go outside.

[alankay]

Q, I sure am sorry to hear all the trouble you've having. There must have been some changes in your life for this increase in anxiety. Are you there for/on work? Did you see a pdoc or GP? Gastrointestinal issues often accompany anxiety. I think your gagging is related to that scenario(that's the very top of the gastro track). Yet another somatic symptom of anxiety dammit. Alan.

[Qofcheez]

Yeah there is so much going on the list would be a mile long. Suffice to say I lost my job and my new job in England doesn't start until the end of January so I am undergoing a lot of stress. Financial, fiance had to cancel his visit to send me money instead, you name it.

And now this whole agoraphobic thing seems to relate to the incredibly abuse from a scammer agent I've endured, as well as other scams in Beijing.

I see a psychiatrist. It's either check myself to regulate my meds, or stay at home and regulate my meds.

I do have IBS. Had it all of my life.

I don't know if checking into a hospital will help Chinese hospitals aren't peaceful relaxing places. I'd be facing cutting off all ties to people online, in a place where no one speaks English and the roomate's family sit and chatter at 100 db all day.

[alankay]

Wowsers. That explains allot. All the crap that has been going on. Yeah, the pdoc is the one for you. Is he/her local or in England? I was on ativan(lorazepam) for years and was grateful for it. I got me past the initial stage of learning about anxiety, etc, and then switched to valium(it works for me when I need it). I wonder if some ear plugs would help? That chatter is stimulating and not helping your anxiety level(I know you can't really ask them to quite down either). Well there is some light at the end of the tunnel so concentrate on that if you can. I'm here to help if I can. Alan.