at1988
12-21-2011, 09:03 AM
I suffer from general anxiety, and panic disorder. It all started in 2008 when i was on a trip in Orlando, Florida. I expierenced my very first Panic attack on a roller coaster ride. I rememebering, 'why did i feel so afraid on that roller coaster?' I was never afraid of any ride before this so I just pushed how i felt on the roller coaster out of my mind and continued enjoying my trip. A couple days later, i expierenced another panic attack, i didnt know that they were panic attacks at the time however. I just know it was a feeling of absolute fear. I was so scared, and had never felt like that before. Again, i just pushed it out of my mind and continued about on my vacation. A few days later it was time to come home. I have flown many many times in my life (i had to fly to get to orlando) but i was afraid to get on the plane...why? I walked onto the plane, sat down in my seat, and had that overpowring feeling of fear again. I wanted to get off the plane, just for a second, but my parents wouldnt let me. So i switched from the window seat to the middle seat, tried to read, listen to music and sleep, but i was too afraid to do any of those things. I thought i was dying. the entire 3 hour flight i was panicking and very upset. I was causing quite a scene.
I have been on short trips since then, and at first they were hard, but they are starting to get easier.
My problem is that, my sister LOVES going to Hawaii, and she took my parents last year, now she wants our whole family to go in Jnauary 2013. I know thats a full year away, but i am so stressed out about going. The trip is not planned out yet, and nothing is booked, but its only a matter of time. My sister has gone to Hawaii every year for the past 3-4 years.
No one understands that i first need to expose myself to places that are similar to hawaii, but not as far, such as Miami. I understand how COBT works, so i know that i need to be exposed to similar situations first before i jump right in.
All my family does is talk about Hawaii, and instantly i get butterflies in my stomach and i just want to cry. If i could just take a few smaller trips first, i might be able to get myself up to going to hawaii, but i dont have the money to travell 2 or more times a year. And even if i were to go somewhere else closer like Florida or California (i live in central canada), i know my family would be upset with me for going there and not Hawaii because my sister is already mad i am not going in 2012.
What can i do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.
I have been on short trips since then, and at first they were hard, but they are starting to get easier.
My problem is that, my sister LOVES going to Hawaii, and she took my parents last year, now she wants our whole family to go in Jnauary 2013. I know thats a full year away, but i am so stressed out about going. The trip is not planned out yet, and nothing is booked, but its only a matter of time. My sister has gone to Hawaii every year for the past 3-4 years.
No one understands that i first need to expose myself to places that are similar to hawaii, but not as far, such as Miami. I understand how COBT works, so i know that i need to be exposed to similar situations first before i jump right in.
All my family does is talk about Hawaii, and instantly i get butterflies in my stomach and i just want to cry. If i could just take a few smaller trips first, i might be able to get myself up to going to hawaii, but i dont have the money to travell 2 or more times a year. And even if i were to go somewhere else closer like Florida or California (i live in central canada), i know my family would be upset with me for going there and not Hawaii because my sister is already mad i am not going in 2012.
What can i do? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story.