New here

[Bex87]

Hi my names Becky, I've never used anything like this before so I hope I am posting in the correct place and don't offend anyone. I would just like to know if there is anyone out there with similar problems to me, well I don't know where to start now, I've been waiting for so long to tell someone how i feel, but it's hard to explain it. It started off with small things like I would get a bit obsessive over things and have to be in control my partner would joke I have OCD, I can't stand things being out of place or change I seem to get freaked out at the smallest changes in life. Not only do I stress about my own problems I seem to take on my family and loved ones problems as my own. I have noticed recently that I seem to have a fear of death I'm sorry if this sounds stupid but I'm trying to be honest. When I start to think about it it makes me physically ill I can't breathe my mouth goes dry and I Start to sweat, not only do I fear of dying myself I'm afraid if my daughter and partner dying and the thought that I will never see them again. I start to think that this is it and there's no way out.Last week we attended my partners uncles funeral he was only 48 and since then this has made
Me worse I've started to cry to
Myself at night because I feel so low,I'm sick of feeling like this I've tried to put the thoughts to the back if my
Mind but when I'm alone and not busy it's the first thing I think of. What's wrong with me,why am I being like this,I have always been abit of a control freak but now this is starting to take over everything I do, I have to asses everything before I will do it. I'm so sorry if I have rambled on and this is very long thanks anyway if you've got this far Becky x

[vonnhelsing]

Hi Becky,
Don't worry, it's normal to be worried about your loved ones. Some people get affected by it more than others. im the same! you have your daughter and your partner and you're scared to leave them if you were to die! but.. you are NOt going to die! don't panic! You wanting everything to be under control is just part of your personality dont hate yourself for it. just try to relax and understand that nothing is wrong with you. you're just very caring! and thats great! you just need to stop worrying and be happy!!! you might not like change but sometimes change is good :D chin up! xx

[alankay]

Becky, not being able to stand things of of place, etc, makes me want to ask if you ever had a conversation about this all with your fam. doc? Granted we all indeed have such thoughts but the fact that it brought you to this forum suggest you might be really distressed by this all. I mean the total picture you described, not just the things out of place, but the fear of death and feeling those physical symptoms(sweating, can't breath, dry mouth) sounds like you having trouble to some degree beyond "normal", perhaps not. Have you thought of talking to your doc about all this? You might be a bit obsessive and your doc would be the best person to to run this all by. If he agrees you're AOK, be assured. If not, he's the guy to start with as far as getting all this under control. Be well.