Its my thinking causing my anxiety, any help please?

[richy1991]

hey all
its been two weeks since iv posted on here, that was when my anxiety shot back up after spending the weekend with my girlfriend and here having to go back home.
over the last 2 weeks my anxiety has settled it self back down

however his weekend with my girlfriend, i have discovered something
my girlfriend was set to go home yesterday, at this point my anxiey had spiked until i was told i was not due in work on monday, meaning she could stay over that night, soon as i knew this i was fine and carried on with the night

now tonight again my anxiety is creeping up as the time comes closer to her going home, and as spending a whole week with her and then her going home was the thing that started my anxiety in the first place, surely this is the link

surely its the way i think
what do you guys think?

cheers
richy

[jessed03]

Very possible Richy. Very possible. The mind can become attached to certain safety behaviours. I know it's not perfect, but whenever I travel I keep a valium in my wallet, just on the off chance I 'Flip Out'. I used to have other safety behaviours too. I used to be fine when at work, I was doing deliveries, and had my partner with me during the day. I just felt safe, I'm not sure why. As 5pm came, and I was dropped off home, I had this huge wave of sadness, worry, emptiness, apprehennsion and fear come over me. It wasn't a panic attack, but it was only what I could describe as an anxious depression feeling. It was quite odd thinking about it, as I wasn't too close to my work mate, and didn't particularly enjoy my job, but while there, I felt far better.

It's very possible this is the link. I can remember very similar experiences causing a spike in my anxiety. Anxiety depends a lot on safety, habit, and familiarity. Once we get comfortable in a place, or with a person, it can create very uncomfortable feelings when things are mixed up.

I think going over some cbt methods will help. If you want you can see a therapist, but you are a seasoned sufferer, so you may be able to implement your own changes by reading a book. It won't be as clear cut as for a newbie, as your anxiety has become more personal, but the theories are the same. Having suffered something similar, a book that helped me was Mind Over Mood - Christine Padesky. If you've done CBT therapy, it may be slightly basic though. You can read some reviews online though to find one to suit you. I guess thats the downside to books. They aren't personal to us. You could even research Seperation Anxiety Disorder, and take some therapy ideas for that, and apply them to your own cirumstance.

It's good you're managing to hone in on your triggers. I've noticed a lot of posts you've written have talked about your anxiety, and how it in some way has a connection to your girlfriend. I think it takes all of us a while to make real discoveries about what triggers us off, and whats happening inside us without us really realizing. We make some ground, then stop, or go back, make some more ground. Stop. Then we finally make a breakthrough.

All the best!

[alankay]

Richy, sure she can represent a "safety person" for you or you could just have some separation anxiety(it happens). Are you getting treatment from a fam. doc, pdoc or counselor??

[Disorder]

have you tried a short serperation period? how are you when you are with her?
we all have our comfort zones and safety items/person(s) and sometimes that can be ok but when it starts interferring with normal daily living it becomes a little problematic i guess

[PanicCured]

Its my thinking causing my anxiety?

Answer: YES!

Thinking--Emotions--affects nervous system--this goes on for some time--soon you have a desensitized nervous system where you can get a panic attack if the wind blows wrong.