Auron
12-02-2006, 05:56 PM
First of all i work as a painter with many many dominicans, puertoricans, and latin countries which are known to have this reputation of being loud and arrogant.
im about the youngest person working there, being 18 years old. as a result of this arrogance, loudness and careless personalities i used to feel very outcast, i got nervious and i couldnt look anyone in the eye. Even the women working there were about 40 years old, all hispanic.
and by the way, im from colombia. anyway, nowadays and very recently after my birthday i somehow become confident, where i could walk at in front of these people without caring what they think or if they make a stupid random joke(which they do quite often being rarely funny). I can keep eyecontact with the people i work with..and sure i might sometimes not do it, but i feel good that i've made these changes without the use of medecine which i used to take about half a year ago for Anxiety...right about when i broke with a girl i was going out with so recently after leaving medecine i was feeling pretty bad.
I've become attached to my boss who is used to drink beer and smoke. I drink at times with him and i realize how simple it is for me to open up with 0 anxiety...and i've read about this...that usually people with anxiety tend to become alcoholics because its the only way they can nome the anxiety.
but dont take me wrong, im not an alcoholic and dont drink often. and regardless whether i recently moved here all by myself i dont feel bad at all. this change has seriously improved me in many ways...I've dropped 6 pounds(now 145lbs!) and do exercise almost every day for an hour. im more busy and become interested in doing hobbies i stopped doing about a year ago like taekwondo. and most of the time im a good mood with rarely any notisable anxiety and tend to worry alot less about what people might think if i do this or that. though what i've seem to notice is that i often get stuck in words when im talking to someone in english and now in spanish and it seems is getting worse and i dont know why if everything is going well. anyone experience this too? is kind of like anxiety but it feels like shyness overpowers me at times, though most of the time i feel good about myself which a month ago i didnt at all...i think is weird and none of the people where i live know i even have anxiety they just think im shy.
since i dont know many people the people who see me at work think im just a serious, boring shy kid. sometimes i feel guitly that im not opennig enough for people to get to know me and to share hobbies. The few people who got to know me were shocked that i play guitar for 3 years or that i practiced taekwondo for 4 years. all of the sudden they see me in a different way and they become a little interested and it annoys me when it happens.
at times i think i still need Zoloft but then i think about these little improvements and it makes me so proud i dont know and my councelur doesnt answer me because she is "busy." I want to take Zoloft and get rid of the anxiety once and for all but i dont want to become used to take medecine again.
and just to show you how immature and annoying these guys can be, once we were working on another resort, and it was lunch time and a colombian fellow ordered a salad and because these cubans and dominicans take pride on eating meat and being machos, they all started saying "jose ordered a salad" with a silly laughter and just plain stupid...
I've never experience this kind of thing before and its the first time I met hispanics with such attitude and it shocked me because i wasnt used to it ever in my life. I lived 6 years in NJ and when i came to florida i realized the amount of minority concentration...i mean it comes to a point where is suffocating, and the amount of stereotyping there is among hispanic nations
I apologize if this sounds rasist but im not trying to be...I've been trying to contact my councelur since i came to Florida about 4 months ago. I just thought i could led my feelings out in here since she doesnt seem to answer me.
I've been in colombia, NJ, florida and soon moving to Canada...its kind of hard to settle down with friends and remain in contact. i hope i can settle down once and for all in canada.
thank you for reading!
im about the youngest person working there, being 18 years old. as a result of this arrogance, loudness and careless personalities i used to feel very outcast, i got nervious and i couldnt look anyone in the eye. Even the women working there were about 40 years old, all hispanic.
and by the way, im from colombia. anyway, nowadays and very recently after my birthday i somehow become confident, where i could walk at in front of these people without caring what they think or if they make a stupid random joke(which they do quite often being rarely funny). I can keep eyecontact with the people i work with..and sure i might sometimes not do it, but i feel good that i've made these changes without the use of medecine which i used to take about half a year ago for Anxiety...right about when i broke with a girl i was going out with so recently after leaving medecine i was feeling pretty bad.
I've become attached to my boss who is used to drink beer and smoke. I drink at times with him and i realize how simple it is for me to open up with 0 anxiety...and i've read about this...that usually people with anxiety tend to become alcoholics because its the only way they can nome the anxiety.
but dont take me wrong, im not an alcoholic and dont drink often. and regardless whether i recently moved here all by myself i dont feel bad at all. this change has seriously improved me in many ways...I've dropped 6 pounds(now 145lbs!) and do exercise almost every day for an hour. im more busy and become interested in doing hobbies i stopped doing about a year ago like taekwondo. and most of the time im a good mood with rarely any notisable anxiety and tend to worry alot less about what people might think if i do this or that. though what i've seem to notice is that i often get stuck in words when im talking to someone in english and now in spanish and it seems is getting worse and i dont know why if everything is going well. anyone experience this too? is kind of like anxiety but it feels like shyness overpowers me at times, though most of the time i feel good about myself which a month ago i didnt at all...i think is weird and none of the people where i live know i even have anxiety they just think im shy.
since i dont know many people the people who see me at work think im just a serious, boring shy kid. sometimes i feel guitly that im not opennig enough for people to get to know me and to share hobbies. The few people who got to know me were shocked that i play guitar for 3 years or that i practiced taekwondo for 4 years. all of the sudden they see me in a different way and they become a little interested and it annoys me when it happens.
at times i think i still need Zoloft but then i think about these little improvements and it makes me so proud i dont know and my councelur doesnt answer me because she is "busy." I want to take Zoloft and get rid of the anxiety once and for all but i dont want to become used to take medecine again.
and just to show you how immature and annoying these guys can be, once we were working on another resort, and it was lunch time and a colombian fellow ordered a salad and because these cubans and dominicans take pride on eating meat and being machos, they all started saying "jose ordered a salad" with a silly laughter and just plain stupid...
I've never experience this kind of thing before and its the first time I met hispanics with such attitude and it shocked me because i wasnt used to it ever in my life. I lived 6 years in NJ and when i came to florida i realized the amount of minority concentration...i mean it comes to a point where is suffocating, and the amount of stereotyping there is among hispanic nations
I apologize if this sounds rasist but im not trying to be...I've been trying to contact my councelur since i came to Florida about 4 months ago. I just thought i could led my feelings out in here since she doesnt seem to answer me.
I've been in colombia, NJ, florida and soon moving to Canada...its kind of hard to settle down with friends and remain in contact. i hope i can settle down once and for all in canada.
thank you for reading!