Well, here it goes.

[Rivaridge]

Let me first say that I admire the courage and candidness of many of the members of this forum. I've only browsed through a few posts and this seems to be the type of place that understands what I've recently been going through.

Here's my short story.

Early last month, I went to see a family doctor for the first time in approximately 10 years. Dislikes and lack of health insurance kept me away for all this time. Well, I have insurance now and my family urged me to see a doctor for a general check-up. I, unfortunately, gave in.

I was candid with the physician and disclosed all of my concerns, primarily that of fighting a bout of depression/irritability since moving to KY from another state, thus leaving family behind. The Physician prescribed Celexa and after approximately six days of taking it, I was awaken at 3:30am by a ringing sensation that would not go away. I then felt a chill throughout my body accompanied by shortness of breath. I woke my wife up and off the the ER we went. After series of tests, including a CAT scan, the ER doctor said I had experienced a panic attack and gave me 1mg of xanax to calm my residual feeling of uneasiness.

I callled my family physician later in the day and he changed Celexa to Prozac. I took Prozac for approximately a week and in the meantime would have bouts of anxiety that were manageable. After two weeks of anti-depressants, I made an appointment with a therapist. After about an hour of listening to my issues, he said he knew what was wrong and confirmed that my family doctor had misdiagnost my condition and the celexa/Prozac were the main culprit of my anxiety disorder. GREAT, I should have followed my instincts and never gone to see the guy. Anyway, I discontinued taking the previous meds and began taking Lamictal and Seraquel. I've been on both medications for approximately 4 weeks now & after a few increases in dosage, it been hit an miss on having a good nights sleep. I've had insomnia for a few days now and my anxiety last night was nearly as bad as when I had to go to the ER. I hate taking habit forming meds, but I gave in last night and ended up taking .5mg of Xanax at about 6:00am....I didn't wake up until 3pm! It's a good thing I am self employed or i would be out of a job.

My therapist insists that the original anti-depressants caused a chemical imbalance and and that he is trying to regulate my brain function back to normal with these new meds. He originally said it could take 30 days to experience some change but its now been over month and there's been minimal improvement.

I'm at my wits ends. I'm an independent person and this anxiety is making me feel self conscious. If my wife leaves to work early in the morning, I dread waking with a panic attack after she's gone. This feeling of dependancy really pisses me off. I'm suppose to be the strong, protective figure but this new anxiety disorder is making me feel quite the opposite. For pete's sake, I'm now carrying around a couple of pills of xanax "just in case".

Please excuse all this rambling. It feels somewhat therapeutic to spill my guts to a forum full of people I don't know. It's just that I don't know if this condition will ever end. My wife and I have talked about starting a family but now I don't know if I want to bring a child to this world who has to deal with a daddy with mental issues.

I know what many of you are going through and I hope you find a way to cope with anxiety and become well.

Thanks for listening.

[alankay]

Rivaridge, was the therapists diagnoses bipolar disorder? I'm just going by the meds you're now on. It does sound like anxiety. My Dad was bipolar(I used to help manage his meds, etc) and he wasn't anxious so much as manic(had alllll the answers, unlimited energy, racing thoughts, grandiose plans/ideas, emotional) then went into the funk of depression after the manic episode which is typical for that disorder. Now I have had anxiety since 1981 and know allot about it. It sounds to me like you are primarily anxious. SSRI's(Celaxa and prozac are SSRI's) can increase anxiety before working to decrease it(upon implementing them). That's a common issue starting an SSRI. If it's(anxiety) that bad they often give you a short course of a benzo to keep the anxiety down since it will go away in a week or 2 and then the SSRI will start to reduce anxiety itself. Just they way they work which kinds S#cks, but there it is. These 2 disorders are separate and distinct. The treatments are also different. Yes you can be anxious with bipolar(often in the depressed phase) but it seems like anxiety is the main thing you're wrestling with. The majority of bipolar patients would not go to a doc unless very depressed. On the other hand patients with anxiety often go in for help as they are not convinced, as the manic patient is, they are fine. They are very distressed. I just have a hunch the MD was right and your increase in anxiety was pretty much a common issue with SSRI's and most docs warn you of this. The fact that xanax works for you suggest you indeed just have some anxiety. IMHO. Please message me any time as I might be of help. Alan.

[Reflections1994]

Hi Rivaridge, I'm 18 years old and have suffered from anxiety since I was 5 ( Yeah, seriously 5:P) I was finally diagnosed when I was 14 and I got put on an anti depressent called 'Lovan'-- I think you should check this medication out as it is aimed particularly at panic attacks and has good reviews in terms of little side effects. Regardless, all medications in some way modify you, however this one has helped me. I was also put on xanax, what a wonder drug, the moment it slips in your mouth all the panic, nervousness, and that 'unsettled' feeling is gone, and replaced with the biggest carm you could ever recive. Right? Rivaridge, I know this feeling feel FANTASTIC, which is one of the reasons I became absolutley addicted to them, and when I didnt have them on me, I had a panic attack, all I can say about xanax is be very careful, its addictive, and given the chance it will take over your life, like it did mine, eventually you will use them to sleep and you become so reliant you justify their use. Use them sparingly and in an emergency, sometimes they can end up being more harm than good. Someting that really worked for me after I quit xanax (which was awful) Was mindfulness meditation, look it up, its pretty amazing, you can achive the same results by doing this, as you do with a xanax, and take if from me, you'll feel better knowing that YOU made YOURSELF feel better, rather than a drug. It takes alot of strength, trust me, but you will feel better for it.

I'm easily contactable if you need

Reflections 1994

[alankay]

No question about it. Use benzo's sparingly but respect them, not fear them. Take them to reduce anxiety, function normally, move along in therapy and not to get calmer than "normal". My rule is to use benzos(I use diazepam occasionally) only when I really need it and take just enough to be effective. That's a therapeutic use of the med and as your doc wants you to use it. Alankay.