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View Full Version : Shy even with children?



gtonyablackwellw
12-10-2011, 02:29 AM
Today I was on the bus and some little girl was waving at me, I could tell it was a nice kid and I waved back and smiled in a friendly way, but normally I am not comfortable with children. This was an unusual situation, normally I am often worried they will do something or talk to me and then I don't know how to respond. Wonder if anyone else relates; that is you feel socially anxious not just around adults but also around children?

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alankay
12-11-2011, 09:07 AM
You were spontaneous and had no time for anticipatory anxiety to develop. There was not enough time for you to worry and create scenarios, you just saw the little child for what she was(a non judgemental child) just waving so without any thought(which is appropriate) just waved back. Only right afterward to you THINK much about it. Sure, I used to get that sort of thing. Not so much with kids but you get better as you get help. An ssri also helped my be less self conscious and worry/ruminate less about these thing which helps allot. That's whats lending to these feeling. Worrying/thinking about negative scenarios and how other may see you, which leads to more worry and you start going down that road of self perpetuating negative thoughts particularly when there's time for you to worry before hand and make it all worse.

jessed03
12-16-2011, 02:32 PM
You were spontaneous and had no time for anticipatory anxiety to develop. There was not enough time for you to worry and create scenarios, you just saw the little child for what she was(a non judgemental child) just waving so without any thought(which is appropriate) just waved back. Only right afterward to you THINK much about it. Sure, I used to get that sort of thing. Not so much with kids but you get better as you get help. An ssri also helped my be less self conscious and worry/ruminate less about these thing which helps allot. That's whats lending to these feeling. Worrying/thinking about negative scenarios and how other may see you, which leads to more worry and you start going down that road of self perpetuating negative thoughts particularly when there's time for you to worry before hand and make it all worse.

Really like this post. I had mega social anxiety (I still do if I get uncareful). I would anazlyse the hell out of stuff. I remember going to a party unwell, and became the life and soul. I looked back on this experience, and wonder how I did it. It's because I was too darn tired to let my mind work. I just went and did stuff without worrying about. I just didn't have the energy to care. If I messed up a sentence, I'd bounce with a joke, and no one was any the wiser. Foolishly I went trying to chance my footsteps, trying to replicate my body language, my words etc. All I needed was to get out of my head. Experience stuff in the real world, and not inside my head. I started to use a meditation technique, and would focus on something for about ten minutes before going out. A candle. I would sit there, and just focus until my mind was silent for a long time. My interactions became SO much more genuine, and free after doing that for a while.