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[alex1993]

I had a severe case of GAD in spring/summer 2010, when I was 16/17, mainly centered around this intense and constant fear of becoming schizophrenic. My biggest symptom which fueled my anxiety the most was derealization that went on for months. I was completely convinced I was going to develop it, so I didn't see much of a reason to be alive. No suicide attempt or thoughts, really, but just a background on my past experiences. My mom thinks it was PSTD triggered by this one time I smoked weed (now I have a phobia of it, it scares me too much) which about three months after I had major abdominal surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from my liver. Yeah, so liver cancer at 16 and GAD didn't make 2010 a very good year. I spent a good deal of time on this forum in the past.

I've had the occasional freak out or panic attack in the last year, but nothing that was crippling. Yesterday, I was changing my clothes in the school bathroom and I guess I started having a panic attack, because suddenly I started questioning as to whether or not I was in a bathroom, or I was in front of the dining hall where everyone was having lunch. (I often have dreams about being naked in public) I felt like I was in a dream state. I got out of the bathroom when I finished changing and I realized I was having a panic attack. My face got flushed my heart raced, I felt dizzy, more derealization, BUT ALSO I was so afraid to look up at anyone, because I was afraid that if I did, I would have a psychotic hallucination, like my surroundings would be "breathing", or a person's eyes would get really big. Nothing of course happened, and I had a mini freak out about two hours later, but I am fine now.

What keeps freaking me out is the thought process in the bathroom. I keep convincing myself that I had a psychotic delusion right there. And tonight, I heard music coming from a computer, so I turned it off, but I'm not completely convinced that it actually happened, I keep thinking I just hallucinated it.

Can somebody give me their thoughts on the "delusional" panic attack? Was that panic attack paranoia or a short psychotic break?

[alankay]

Well during a panic attack the blood gases fluctuate because of the improper/irregular breathing and increase in blood pressure(this causes the feeling of unreality/detachment/weird feeling because the brain is getting all this blood). Couple this with a scared mind(often anxious folks are imaginative/creative) and have a predisposition to the worst/most feared thing/scenario happening, etc. Thus they fear they are going crazy and even may imagine/fear they MIGHT see/hear something, etc. This can continue over time and you got a scared/anxious person convinced may be going batty or could/will go that way. Rest assured it's alllllllllll anxiety. If you were actually going psychotic, you wouldn't be scared. You'd have lost contact with reality and anxious folks don't ever do that. They just scare themselves to extreme distress. Worried/scared that these things WILLl happen. There is a big difference between being afraid something happened(did I hear something?, I'm scared) and I DID hear that and/or I DID see that. Your just anxious like many of us. Have you seen a GP, pdoc or counselor? Message me any time and rest assured..it's allllllll anxiety. All goes back to anxiety. Oh yeah, I smoked pot and got paranoid, that can sure happen to almost anyone.:) Especially us anxious types:)