Anxie
12-03-2011, 04:56 AM
Hello all,
This is my first post in this forum.
I've suffered silently, without joining any forums or talking to a doctor yet. By letting it all out here, I hope I get to feel better. Where I am from, it is difficult to get professional help and I'm not sure what medication does to me if taken for a long period.
My job takes me to many places, .. countries around the world for few month periods. Every new environment, I have to get to know new people around me and live up to their expectations... and this happens multiple times a year. It is a stressful position to be in, and I have been doing this for almost a decade.
Sometimes, I am engaged in a role beyond my means and experience, and yet have to live up to expectations. This has cause a lot of stress and has been on-going for the past years. It also does not help that this is genetic (I believe), my mom and brother both have these symptoms.
I can't breath most of the time, feeling tight chested. These periods, go on for a few months at a time. Sleeping is the only time my body is at rest. The anxiety does not help me to perform at all, noticing that I have short concentration spans and prone to silly mistakes.
I noticed my anxiety goes away when I am on vacation. This leads me to my biggest fear, does this actually mean I cannot work any more? Should I just quit my job and find something less stressful and simple... which will not pay much? I am in my late 30s, and the feeling of not being able to provide enough for the family worries me.
I am at a crossroad here... I can't continue what I'm doing yet I cannot give up. Does this mean, I am resigned to the fact that I will have to tolerate this illness of mine for many more years? Both options of quitting or getting a low paid job, scares the hell out of me.
Thanks for listening, thought I'd vent this out here... and hopefully some of you can offer some word of encouragement.
If anyone knows, a mild drug to take me through this constant anxious feeling, please suggest. I do not have panic attacks yet, but it's a slow constant anxious feeling throughout the entire day.
This is my first post in this forum.
I've suffered silently, without joining any forums or talking to a doctor yet. By letting it all out here, I hope I get to feel better. Where I am from, it is difficult to get professional help and I'm not sure what medication does to me if taken for a long period.
My job takes me to many places, .. countries around the world for few month periods. Every new environment, I have to get to know new people around me and live up to their expectations... and this happens multiple times a year. It is a stressful position to be in, and I have been doing this for almost a decade.
Sometimes, I am engaged in a role beyond my means and experience, and yet have to live up to expectations. This has cause a lot of stress and has been on-going for the past years. It also does not help that this is genetic (I believe), my mom and brother both have these symptoms.
I can't breath most of the time, feeling tight chested. These periods, go on for a few months at a time. Sleeping is the only time my body is at rest. The anxiety does not help me to perform at all, noticing that I have short concentration spans and prone to silly mistakes.
I noticed my anxiety goes away when I am on vacation. This leads me to my biggest fear, does this actually mean I cannot work any more? Should I just quit my job and find something less stressful and simple... which will not pay much? I am in my late 30s, and the feeling of not being able to provide enough for the family worries me.
I am at a crossroad here... I can't continue what I'm doing yet I cannot give up. Does this mean, I am resigned to the fact that I will have to tolerate this illness of mine for many more years? Both options of quitting or getting a low paid job, scares the hell out of me.
Thanks for listening, thought I'd vent this out here... and hopefully some of you can offer some word of encouragement.
If anyone knows, a mild drug to take me through this constant anxious feeling, please suggest. I do not have panic attacks yet, but it's a slow constant anxious feeling throughout the entire day.