Schatmeisje
12-02-2011, 03:43 PM
I will apologise for the long post in advance ! LOL
I have been battling agoraphobia and anxiety / panic dosorder for the past 6 months, and have started to make some good steady progress.
I joined a local 'mental health support group' that was just for others to try and get out and about together and went to a couple of BBQ days (i only managed to last 1/2 hour but it was a start) I then did 100 hours of volunteer work for the organisation. It isnt an organisation where there are counsellors or any therapy involved, purely for outings.
When i deactivayed my facebook account for a weekend to catch up on my studies (i am studying IT from home) the organisation leader became very angry and started up some very bad rumours and created a facebook group with 100 members of the group being local (i live in a smal town) saying things that were entirely untrue (such as i had deleted their website etc - which obviously is not true as it is still there !).
I ended up having major problems and finally organised a mediation session to stop this and get it sorted, as on the facebook group, all the other members were believing what she was was saying and threatening violence towards me.
I thouhgt the mediation went well, and she basically admitted she 'thought' i was not talking to her because my fb account was not up, and she was very angry, and i went through what she had written on the group with her where she admitted it was not true and deleted the posts (although i kept screenshots of it just incase).
Now, being agoraphobic and living in a small town, when you know that you have 100 mentally unstable people who are angry at you, how the hell do you get the courange to go out again?
It all started again this week, and a LOT worse than last time. Now it is saying I am closing their group down (which is untrue, ad i ahve not put in a complaint to anyone-and obviously there is proof of this. But now it has started on my partner, with her posting that he had been texting and phoning her and threatening violence that day, which was met with a lot of responses from some very seriously mentally ill people threatening violence. My address has been given out to people also. My partner is a prison officer, and as any normal person would know, there is no way a mobile telephone is allowed into his workplace as he gets searched, drug tested and walks through a detector each time he eneters work. Obviously phone records will also prove that this did not happen. i have changed my telephone numbers already.
I am scared, very scared, i am now scared to let my partner go to work (which i have never been scared of before), i have been to the police and have been told they do not police facebook ???(WTF???) and the only option i have to stop this is to put in a complaint against the organisation, which i really dont want to do, as i dont want it to be closed down :-(
I have no idea how to handle this, but i know i dont want to go back being housebound, but the only way i can see to clear my name is either by putting in the complaint so the truth is shown (but again, then the organisation will be closed down) or to see a lawyer and proceed with a court case which i cannot afford, and honestly, i dont think i could attand court, but i have records of everything that has been said and done and proof that each and every thing is untrue.
You can imagine how scary it is to go outside when you have agoraphobia to start with, add in the added pressure of being frightened of these people and it just seems like it is not worth the effort :-(
The other problem is that i have worked very hard on my blog over the past 6 months, and i set up my blog purely to show people what it is really like living with these disorders, and have been very honest throughout it. But now my blog address was posted on this site and i am getting 500 views each night which is very out of the normal for it, and my blog shows that the google search term for people finding my blog is my FULL NAME and the town i live in. I dont want to lose my blog, as it is a huge part of what has kept me motivated to get better and keep moving forward, but now i find i am worried that people will know when my partner is not at home and i will get hurt.
Has anyone else ben through anything like this, or does anyone have any advice or suggestions for other things i could try??
I would really appreciate any feedback, and again, sorry for the book i seem to have written, but i just dont know who else to ask about this :-(
I have been battling agoraphobia and anxiety / panic dosorder for the past 6 months, and have started to make some good steady progress.
I joined a local 'mental health support group' that was just for others to try and get out and about together and went to a couple of BBQ days (i only managed to last 1/2 hour but it was a start) I then did 100 hours of volunteer work for the organisation. It isnt an organisation where there are counsellors or any therapy involved, purely for outings.
When i deactivayed my facebook account for a weekend to catch up on my studies (i am studying IT from home) the organisation leader became very angry and started up some very bad rumours and created a facebook group with 100 members of the group being local (i live in a smal town) saying things that were entirely untrue (such as i had deleted their website etc - which obviously is not true as it is still there !).
I ended up having major problems and finally organised a mediation session to stop this and get it sorted, as on the facebook group, all the other members were believing what she was was saying and threatening violence towards me.
I thouhgt the mediation went well, and she basically admitted she 'thought' i was not talking to her because my fb account was not up, and she was very angry, and i went through what she had written on the group with her where she admitted it was not true and deleted the posts (although i kept screenshots of it just incase).
Now, being agoraphobic and living in a small town, when you know that you have 100 mentally unstable people who are angry at you, how the hell do you get the courange to go out again?
It all started again this week, and a LOT worse than last time. Now it is saying I am closing their group down (which is untrue, ad i ahve not put in a complaint to anyone-and obviously there is proof of this. But now it has started on my partner, with her posting that he had been texting and phoning her and threatening violence that day, which was met with a lot of responses from some very seriously mentally ill people threatening violence. My address has been given out to people also. My partner is a prison officer, and as any normal person would know, there is no way a mobile telephone is allowed into his workplace as he gets searched, drug tested and walks through a detector each time he eneters work. Obviously phone records will also prove that this did not happen. i have changed my telephone numbers already.
I am scared, very scared, i am now scared to let my partner go to work (which i have never been scared of before), i have been to the police and have been told they do not police facebook ???(WTF???) and the only option i have to stop this is to put in a complaint against the organisation, which i really dont want to do, as i dont want it to be closed down :-(
I have no idea how to handle this, but i know i dont want to go back being housebound, but the only way i can see to clear my name is either by putting in the complaint so the truth is shown (but again, then the organisation will be closed down) or to see a lawyer and proceed with a court case which i cannot afford, and honestly, i dont think i could attand court, but i have records of everything that has been said and done and proof that each and every thing is untrue.
You can imagine how scary it is to go outside when you have agoraphobia to start with, add in the added pressure of being frightened of these people and it just seems like it is not worth the effort :-(
The other problem is that i have worked very hard on my blog over the past 6 months, and i set up my blog purely to show people what it is really like living with these disorders, and have been very honest throughout it. But now my blog address was posted on this site and i am getting 500 views each night which is very out of the normal for it, and my blog shows that the google search term for people finding my blog is my FULL NAME and the town i live in. I dont want to lose my blog, as it is a huge part of what has kept me motivated to get better and keep moving forward, but now i find i am worried that people will know when my partner is not at home and i will get hurt.
Has anyone else ben through anything like this, or does anyone have any advice or suggestions for other things i could try??
I would really appreciate any feedback, and again, sorry for the book i seem to have written, but i just dont know who else to ask about this :-(