I just can't do it on my own.

[maralex]

I had my first panic attack in 2005 when I was 27. Wrapping Christmas gifts, happy as can be...then boom, out of nowhere I thought I was having a stroke. Numbness in my arm, felt like my lungs were caving in, heart racing. I thought for sure I was going to die. I remember it like it was yesterday. Emerg diagnosed it as a panic attack.

Didn't have another one for a year. Had two within a month and decided it was time to do something. Went to see my family doctor who prescribed Paxil and Clonaxepam. Took that for around 2 weeks and felt worse than ever...the Paxil made me edgy and mean and the Clonaxepam made me sleepy and zombie like. I gave up and delt with them. Talk myself out of them I said, it's all in your head. This worked for quite some time..until this year in March...I just couldn't take it. Went to the doctor again and she prescribed me Effexor...I just couldn't bring myself to take it. I'm intellegent and strong, I'm not a weak person who need meds!!! I refuse to believe I'm crazy. Medication is for crazy people! Weak minded people! I'm not! So I didn't take it.

I've bought a number of books..."When Panic Attacks"..you name it. I'm trying to come up with a logical explanation as to why my mind behaves this way. Not helping. It's getting worse. 2 weeks ago I had a panic attack while shopping, out of nowhere. Now, I'm getting them when standing in line anywhere this last week. Grocery store, getting coffee, doesn't matter. I can't sit in a meeting at work, I have to bail. I started getting them while driving this last week too. I don't want to be medicated, and I don't know what to do.

I've never said anything to my doctor but I also suffer from OCD...counting, compulsive praying, endless straightening of placemats, floor mats, things on the counter...it never ends and I feel like my mind never has a second to rest. I think I might actually be nuts!!!

[dthul1]

I agree with you on the whole "crazy people take meds and I can find a logical way around this". However, I have recently came to the conclusion that I need to seek medical treatment because it is only getting worse. As far as the Rx's you were prescribed earlier, you could have had some side effects eg the anger. Have you spoke with your doctor about those meds and the way you feel. While I'm not a doctor myself I think you should give this new med a shot.

[alankay]

Maralex, I went through the same scenario(trying to be stronger than my anxiety). Eventually you'll realize you have one of the most common problems modern man is facing. You have anxiety(OCD is a form of it in and of itself). Maybe the dose of clonazepam was a tad high. In any case SSRI's are the best first choice for both anxiety and OCD. They use luvox allot for that(OCD) but perhaps zoloft would be a better choice for you(that's for the dr. to determine). Might not make you feel so edgy(ssris often make you more anxious when first starting but then work to lower anxiety). Effexor is an SNRI and usually tried after a couple ssri's fail. In any case the dr. needs to know everything about the OCD stuff. Your therapy will be best if he has all he needs for first, the correct diagnoses and then to implement optimal therapy based on the diagnoses. I bet he'll consider luvox(just another ssri) or zoloft since paxil didn't go well. Message me any time. Oh, anxiety is more common in highly intelligent, creative and energetic people. Don't think of it as "weak". Are diabetics weak or folks who get migraines or have epilepsy? No, they have a med condition that's very treatable. Message we any time.

[stevie]

maralex- i'm like you- i wanted to prove i could do this on my own and beat it, but ive recently come to the realization that i really want help. i can't have panic attacks in the middle of a class or in the central bus station anymore... sometimes we need to accept that the problems are just a bit bigger than we are. doesn't mean that you're weak- the opposite, you were strong enough to know when to ask for help and that's a huge accomplishment. best of luck.