random phrases popping into my mind before sleep/during meditation

[kawalac]

Hello everyone. I suffered a panic attack in late May. It was a very distressing experience and I didn't really know what was happening. After the event I began to think "Oh no, what if I'm getting schizhophrenia?!?!" and this worry has been plaguing me since then. I went to a psychologist to see if I was getting it, and she assured me that I was not. I am 24 and have no family history. I didn't believe her, so I went to another psychologist who again said that I did not have it and that my chances of getting it were slim to none. He said I was suffering from anxiety, which I definitely agree with.

There are times throughout the day where I seem to compare what I'm thinking/hearing to the symptoms of schizophrenia in order to assure myself that I am not displaying the characteristic symptoms of the disease. This leads me to the reason for posting this new message. I have began Vipassana meditation and yoga in an effort to help me be more mindful and in the present moment so that I can get more control over how I react to my thoughts. However, I noticed that when I'm meditating, there are certain random words or phrases that just pop into my mind out of nowhere. The phrases are nonsensical and usually I hear them in a voice of someone I know or of a complete stranger. One second they come in, and then they're gone. I know these are originating from within my mind and that they are thoughts. They only occur when I am meditating or when I am about to fall asleep. I do not think that I am hearing voices. However, I find these phrases to be very distressing and of course, I am thinking the worst and convincing myself that I do have schizophrenia. I have looked this up online and apparently hearing phrases or illogical thoughts before bed happens normally and is called Hypnagogia.

Despite all this, I am not convinced and I'm turning to you guys to see if you experience the same sort of thing, or whether I should approach my psychologist with this new information.

Thanks.

[jessed03]

I get this all the time. I've had all my life, so I suppose I'm used to it. It used to be much worse, but as I get healthier and happier, I can now go weeks without anything, when in the past it would happen every few minutes.
I've found the more I've practiced mindfulness and the being aware, but not involved in things, the more my mind has seemed to burn out, and exhaust itself from unusual activity, and things have returned more normal.

I'll be honest, I'm not sure what Therapy offers by way of this. I told my therapist once, and he didn't give it any attention whatsoever. Maybe because I had more pressing issues at the time.

One thing I can say, is whilst the anxiety of the thought is there, they'll stick around, as they scare you, and if they scare you,the mind needs to keep them at it's forefront. They are meaningless, ask any recoverer, or psychologist. They can be pretty annoying, but they're in no way any prediction or indication of anything whatsoever.

Vippasana is awesome by the way. How long have you been practising? I think it helped me with this a tonne. Just focusing on my breathing constantly and letting everything just flow without participation helped me immensely.

There have been a lot of threads similiar to this on the forum, where some very good posts have been written. I can't remember the names of any now, but maybe a search would help.

I'll leave you with one of my favourite Vipassana quotes; "To give your sheep or cow a large, spacious meadow is the way to control him."

[kawalac]

Thanks for your reply Jessed. I feel much more relieved.

I originally tried searching the forum for a similar topic, but to no avail. I wasn't able to find anything. Maybe my search process was faulty. I'll try again :)

I just started doing yoga every week from 6 weeks ago. Then last week I decided to give Vipassana a try. I read a book called "Mindfulness in Plain English" which was very informative. I am not related to the book by any means and I'm not trying to sell or make money for it. Just saying that it gave me a good basis for how to go about starting my meditation practice. It has been a great learning experience thus far and I plan on continuing the practice for years to come. The nonsensical phrases are distressing, but now that I know their origin, I can worry less about it and focus back on the breath. How long have you been practicing? Any tips for a beginner?

Thanks again :)