Does this sound like just anxiety?

[Mattb22]

Hey guys sorry but this is a long story!

So ive been what I now believe a hypochondriac for about 7 months now. First started with my moles in April don't know what bought it on but I have always had a lot of moles on my body and never bothered me then one day I looked at them and thought "why are some different shapes?" and started researching melanomas.....

Went to my doctor to have them checked and he asked the routine questions... Noticeable changes, itching, bleeding of which I had none so he said to take photos and check every few months to see if any have changed... great anxiety over right? wrong!

The next thing I had was a bit of redness on my cheekbones in May, the demon that is google said lupus amongst many other diseases, went to the local walk in centre as I was so worried and couldn't wait for an appointment silly nurse told me she didnt know but possible shingles! and gave me antibiotics took a weeks worth and went back to walk in centre as it hadnt cleared. Got to see a doctor this time who laughed at the fact id been told shingles and said its hardly noticeable possibly mild seborrhoeic dermatitis and gave me some steroid cream which took the edge off it. Then once again best friend google came into play, seborrhoeic dermatitis = yeast overgrowth = hiv/aids patients... great now I had HIV.

Went to a clinic to get tested for HIV, (only ever had 2 sexual partners and both in long term relationships) they basically told me do you know how likely you are to have HIV? and told me id more likely win the lottery I had the test done week later came back negative! whoopee problems solved... oh no

couple of weeks later developed a really bad case of laryngitis could hardly talk... more antibiotics, cleared up only I noticed a bump inside my mouth slightly smaller than the size of a pea... mouth cancer! After multiple doctors prescribing me antibiotics I ended up getting a referral from my own doctor to go and see a maxillofacial surgeon in august. Went to see him who poked and prodded asked about symptoms of which i didnt really have any (at the time) and told me it was either a mucous retention cyst or a bit of scar tissue from a tonsillectomy I had as a child and its probably always been there once again I was relieved for the time being.

Few weeks later the death of my uncle with stomach cancer, I get home from the funeral and look in the mirror at my throat. Back of my throat is full of tiny bumps smaller than the one in my mouth, "OMG he was wrong, it was mouth cancer and its spreading." Again multiple doctors telling me theres nothing wrong with my throat and by this time my own doctor is fed up telling me that its in my head stop worrying otherwise you will need counselling. This was not reassuring. After googling over and over I start to get stuffy noses everyday and a constant feeling of needing to hock rubbish from my throat to no avail.

Then I go out one night and get really drunk with friends hadnt had a drink in so long because I was always "ILL" that I was hammered. Got in and felt sick as a dog and in the usual fashion stuck my fingers down my throat to throw up, once again bam my world turn upside down after seeing blood in the toilet... never thinking that i had caught my throat while sticking my thingers down and it was tender with all the hocking i'd been doing. Now I had stomach cancer/throat cancer.

From this day on I had symptoms that would come and go, pains in the left temple area being one, sore throat, stuffy nose etc.

I had an obsession with making myself throw up to see if there was any blood in it... once or twice there was in which case I found it was coming from both sides of my tongue where they were catching on my wisdom teeth while wretching. Then I started focusing more on the stomach cancer due to it being in the family. After googling all about this I start getting abdominal pains that would come and go, and more frequent belching and my other symptoms would subside....

Then last week I did a lot of research on candida and though "Hey I fit the bill!" as im guessing any hypochondriac does? Did the candida diet for a week and researched some more and how many think its a scam and in that week I lost around 8pounds in weight and gave me quite loose stools throughout... which scared me into thinking I had stomach cancer once again.

Stopped the diet and the day after i find red in my stools all of a sudden im thinking colon cancer... since then the belching has subsided and i now have more flatulence.... great the red spots seemed to have tapered off since my doc did a rectal exam and told me theres no hemmeroids and that with the bleeding not being severe he doesnt think its anything sinister possibly down to the diet... but to stay in touch

Is this all really anxiety? my family think theres nothing wrong with me just like my doctor and I think its finally turning to depression now. Im 21 but how i talk im on deaths door everyday...

cheers matt

[Mattb22]

I believe lately ive been going into a state of depression since ive been waking up at a reasonable time but then instead of getting up ill roll over since it seems easier to sleep and not have to worry about my symptoms all day long... horrible thoughts I know.

Not sure where this all stemmed from but may have something to do with my mums side of the family.

My grandma died a few years ago with stomach cancer previous to that she had breast cancer. Her husband my granddad had stomach cancer and managed to survive it. His son or my uncle died a few months ago with stomach cancer and his sister, my auntie had breast cancer which has been successfully removed.

So lets say my mums side of the family has a lot of breast and stomach cancer in it, my dads side of the family however are the complete opposite my grandad is 92 and his wife is 90. It seems all of my dads side of the family live well into the 90's my dad however did have a heart attack about 5 years ago but with his diet and the amount he smoked the docs said was no wonder.

Other than that the other thing that might have triggered it was last year in July I ended up having a panic attack on a flight back from holidays in lanzarote. It was only a bit of turbulence and I blew it completely out of control and wont fly anymore since.

I suppose I just need to find away to stop worrying and my symptoms will go away. It always seems to be the case, when i'm out with friends or anything im relieved of any symptoms.

[TheEditor]

Sounds like a form of OCD to me. Have you talked with a psychiatrist or therapist?

[PanicCured]

What's interesting to note, is the 2 weeks before I developed severe panic disorder, I was googling non stop about heart disease and other diseases.

[Mattb22]

Thanks so much guys for all the help. Seems like all of my symptoms were down to anxiety and one by one they're slowly disappearing. I never would have believed that by thinking you have something the body can produce symptoms for this particular disease/ailment, but it seems like that's what was happening with me.

When I thought I had mouth cancer I was so obsessed I started having pains in my temple, blocked sinuses, ear pains etc.

When I thought I had stomach cancer I would have a lot of acid and burping.

When I thought it was colon cancer I started having really loose stools with bits of black, red, orange and yellow mixed in which I believe was my body pushing everything through to quickly and not completely digesting the food.

I have come to the conclusion that the best way for me to get over this was by trying to get busy and when I would start to think about cancers to preoccupy my mind with something, playing a game or doing some uni work or jobs in the home.

I cant say i'm completely over this but friends and family are amazed by how much better I look, less blackness under my eyes and a lot happier!

If I hadn't have come here I think I would still be dragging my feet around for months to come. Reading the symptom list helped me relate aswell.

Thank you for your advice also forwells everytime I have started to think about diseases before I have gone to google I have remembered one sentence you said in your post to me "stop and now" because I realised if id have gone to google and seen something that I didn't like id have gone into panic mode and id be back where I started.

So thank you all!

[alankay]

Matt, sounds like anxiety to me. Most or us have some variations on how exactly our anxiety manifests itself. Your at the age where allot of patients first develop significant anxiety. Mine started when I was 18 and I'm 48 and pretty knowledgeable on it. I had similar health fears when I first noticed what I now recognize as anxiety. It is as it's more common the OCD. After ruling out significant conflicts/stressors in your life, go to you GP tell him you think you may have some significant anxiety going on and really need help and go from there. If you been seen by that many drs/nurses(as I was) and told you are healthy..........................you very surely are(as I was). In the mean time cut back on caffeine and alcohol, get some exercise, eat healthy and practice deep breathing and body relaxation. But if you're already doing better, maybe not.:)

[Mattb22]

Ok newest obsession is lymphoma, im convinced ive got it now even though I dont have any swollen lymph nodes I have got these bumps still in my the back of my throat which I read can be lymph tissue and my chest ache has come back its in the centre and hurts when I move my arms in to the centre of my chest, its somewhat relieved if I lean back and stretch my arms right back till I hear a crack or pop in my sternum but doesnt fully go away...

Now i'm back to stage one... when I thought I was doing so well... im convinced yet again.

[philthejuggler]

I downloaded an overcoming hypochondria hypnosis which has helped somewhat - definitely worth considering!

Phil