Stuck in a dream

[Sarah588]

Hi everyone. My name is Sarah and I am new to this forum. Lately I have been having this fear that I am stuck in a dream. The scenarios seem to change every so often. In 7th grade I was at a sleepover and this one girl said she could do a 'trance' on us, she would rub our temples, count down to 100 and apparently she would ask questions and we'd give goofy answers. Another girl said that she knew someone who got stuck in a trance and that she was screaming to get out of it. But anyways I volunteered and I never actually believed I was ever in a trance, I just remember being giggly, and I remember sleeping later that night and then we all woke up and went to the Bagel store. Now here I am years later (I am 23) with this fear plaguing me "Omg, what if I am stuck in a trance from 7th grade and I have to scream to get out??".

So that's what my fear was last week. This week my fear was about when I got my tonsils out when I was 18...what if I never awoke from the anesthesia? What if I am on a coma in the hospital bed and this life isn't real? All my life I had believed I woke up, but what if?

These thoughts are scary. I am married and want to enjoy my newlywed life without these thoughts plaguing me. But I am so scared. What if God is trying to tell me something? What if I am stuck in a dream and He wants to me do specific things to get out of it, and if I don't listen I will go to hell? I recognize these thoughts are destroying me, but why do I have unwanted thoughts in the first place?

I am seeing a therapist. I am desperately looking for proof that I am NOT in a dream. I obviously know what it feels like to be awake, I obviously know THIS is what it feels like, but what if it was all a lie and just a vivid dream??? It freaks me out to the point of chronic worry and depression. I want proof!

My therapist wants me to go on SSRI. I would like some advice from people who have experienced chronic unwanted thoughts and their experience on SSRI. She said that serotonin is like oil for your brain, and my 'gears' are stuck. She says I can feel a lot better and that after a while I will notice "hey i haven't been thinking of that lately" and it will be easier to go on normally.

I don't truly believe I am in a dream, but what if? How do I know for certain?

[jon mike]

Hey, all I can say is, if it's freaking you out then it's anxiety! I had some similar issues, my were more based around Solipsism, at the end of the day how do you prove something like that? What you gotta ask yourself is does it matter? Are you really any different to anyone else? I doubt it, this is very common with any normal thinking human being, you just have the anxiety along with these thoughts which makes the anxiety worse, which makes the thoughts seem worse, on and on it goes, round and around, one big ball of anxiety, these are just thoughts, people have thoughts, don't hang onto them they're just thoughts..... Have you ever heard of anyone ever actually being harmed by a thought no matter how weird? Don't look to far into your own, I actually laugh at what mine were now, you will to.

[Sarah588]

Thanks. That does make me feel a bit better. I just wish I could chop off the part of my brain having these thoughts and continue on with life! "What if i'm dreaming, what if I am awake but everyone is a hallucination? What if this what if that?" Drives me crazy. Everyone around me says I will find the answers and realize that no, I am not dreaming and no, I am not hallucinating. I will never treat anyone differently because of these thoughts, because that would mean I actually believed it... but I wonder about it to the point of constant fear. It has kept me from living normally lately. I just got married and am hoping that it is just a phase and that it was just triggered by stress from the wedding plus from my job. That is what everyone is telling me.

[jon mike]

Look, you are on the an anxiety website seeking advice, your obviously not in a dream, your just getting mad anxiety thoughts that everyone has, if I had enough fingers to type you in the amount of crazy thoughts I had over 15years of it you would laugh, your not dreaming, because I'm sending you this message and I am 100% trust me, I'd know if I wasn't :-):-). It is all just a thought, a thought that has kept your anxiety going, I got married 3 yrs ago and it set me off amongst other things, it's hard to explain because I hate typing but look anxiety thought linking up on the net or summit, your therapist should be telling you something at least to try and give you some comfort, if you really get stuck you can message me cuz I know how utterly shit it feels to feel trapped and alone, it's not nice, but looking back it does help you and makes you so much stronger, good luck and smile at it cuz it won't kill you and you're not going to go mad!!! Very important!!:-) jon

[at1988]

I also have weird thoughts similar to this. I am a huge outdoors person, and love being out in the bush, but because of all the scary and suspenseful movies i have watched in the past, (wont ever watch another one) i get scared being out there now. One time recently, i joined my mom and dad out there for a quad ride. They got out of the truck, and because i was changing my shoes inside i wasn't paying attention to what they were doing outside the truck. After i put my shoes on, i get out of the truck to look for them. I don't see them anywhere. So now the crazy thoughts begin... were they actually ever here? did i somehow drive myself here alone without realizing? So i started to yell for them. I heard them yell back and instantly was relieved, until the next time anyway. I have done this a few times.
I know its just our anxiety eating away at us, setting off that false panic alarm. I hate it so much. I never used to be this way.