Question
11-10-2011, 01:45 AM
Ok, I'd appreciate any help, or info :) sorry its so long. but if you could read and respond I'd appreciate it so much.
I know I have anxiety and depression, which ok I can deal with. However I was diagnosed also by one therapist as having panic disorder. The first episode was about a year ago, long story short-was on medication, ativan, thought I was "cured" and boom six months ago had another one. I know exactly what the triggers were:
1. starting graduate school after 3 years graduating from college, going through hell, wondering where my life was going, if I was just going to be a bum broke unemployed because of the economy, wondering if I was ever going to make it to grad school, constantly worrying.
2. the beginning of possibly starting a new relationship with someone I had a class with. I don't know what it was but I had a just episode where my head just exploded.
I want to know was this a panic attack/part of panic disorder or something else. This episode was sooooo intense that I starting having so much intense anxiety for months that I think it pushed me into the deepest depression of my life , thought I was going to die. I literally felt the same way as the first episode.
1. my brain was splitting in half (I can feel the front of my head hurting now)
2. super anxious
3. depression (this time worse)
so my question to you is, was this a panic attack/disorder? I was taking ativan at the time and thought I was ok I kept taking it even after the 2nd episode but it stopped working and was so freaked out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What therapists have said:
1. first to diagnose me after the first episode said that without proper treatment of anxiety and depression (3 years w/ no meds, just some counseling) developmental or reaching new stages of life can trigger intense head pain and the episodes can become more intense.
2. other therapist said it was stress. possibly have another condition besides anxiety and depression (which I was saying all along)
I think maybe somewhere this person looking at me (could tell he liked me, maybe wanted to start something) triggered fear or I don't know what because of the pain, feelings of failure guilt from my first relationship. to me dating this new person (call him L) was like a whole new chapter of my life from finally moving on from the sad past 4 years.
Do I have a fear of moving on? going forward developing? sometimes I think I'm meant to be a bum, not have a job, just stay at home living with my mom forever, never meeting anyone. I'm 26 in grad school, and won a fellowship to go overseas for a job, great opportunity. I don't want these issues to destroy my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if I'm able to go in two months (Godwilling or next year is at all possible) I won't be able to start a relationship but just been holding on the past 6 months for dear life.
I know I have anxiety and depression, which ok I can deal with. However I was diagnosed also by one therapist as having panic disorder. The first episode was about a year ago, long story short-was on medication, ativan, thought I was "cured" and boom six months ago had another one. I know exactly what the triggers were:
1. starting graduate school after 3 years graduating from college, going through hell, wondering where my life was going, if I was just going to be a bum broke unemployed because of the economy, wondering if I was ever going to make it to grad school, constantly worrying.
2. the beginning of possibly starting a new relationship with someone I had a class with. I don't know what it was but I had a just episode where my head just exploded.
I want to know was this a panic attack/part of panic disorder or something else. This episode was sooooo intense that I starting having so much intense anxiety for months that I think it pushed me into the deepest depression of my life , thought I was going to die. I literally felt the same way as the first episode.
1. my brain was splitting in half (I can feel the front of my head hurting now)
2. super anxious
3. depression (this time worse)
so my question to you is, was this a panic attack/disorder? I was taking ativan at the time and thought I was ok I kept taking it even after the 2nd episode but it stopped working and was so freaked out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What therapists have said:
1. first to diagnose me after the first episode said that without proper treatment of anxiety and depression (3 years w/ no meds, just some counseling) developmental or reaching new stages of life can trigger intense head pain and the episodes can become more intense.
2. other therapist said it was stress. possibly have another condition besides anxiety and depression (which I was saying all along)
I think maybe somewhere this person looking at me (could tell he liked me, maybe wanted to start something) triggered fear or I don't know what because of the pain, feelings of failure guilt from my first relationship. to me dating this new person (call him L) was like a whole new chapter of my life from finally moving on from the sad past 4 years.
Do I have a fear of moving on? going forward developing? sometimes I think I'm meant to be a bum, not have a job, just stay at home living with my mom forever, never meeting anyone. I'm 26 in grad school, and won a fellowship to go overseas for a job, great opportunity. I don't want these issues to destroy my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even if I'm able to go in two months (Godwilling or next year is at all possible) I won't be able to start a relationship but just been holding on the past 6 months for dear life.