Hello! I'm a relapser lol.

[Somegirl89]

Hi everyone. I guess I will give an introduction since i'm new to this site. I'm 23.. married... Have been dealing with anxiety for around 4 years now. I used to suffer from extreme anxiety and panic attacks as well as hypochondria/health anxiety. I was a member of a small anxiety forum not too long ago, but myself and several members whom I was close with began recovering and stopped needing the site and each other so much. The forum has since 'fallen apart' and nobody frequents it anymore as a lot of members have partially recovered and moved on.

I don't suffer from hypochondria anymore. I have no idea how I got over it, but one day I just woke up and wasn't afraid about my health anymore. I still have small panic attacks every few weeks but they are managable and I am well used to them by now so they don't bother me too much.

The reason I come here is more for an anxiety/OCD that I have developed gradually over the last 8 or so months. When I was 18 my highschool boyfriend of 5 years was killed in a car accident. It was a horrific thing to go through at such a young age and I believe that gong through something traumatic like this has left me with severe anxiety and OCD about losing people I love. I've been married to my husband now for a little over a year. He is in the US army and is away a lot for training exercises and deployments. Most of my anxieties and fears center around him being killed, like my boyfriend was all those years ago. He literally cannot drive anywhere without either being on the phone with me the whole time so I know he hasn't crashed his car, or calling me as soon as he gets to where he's going. If he's been driving and I don't hear from him I FREAK OUT thinking he's been in an accident and died. He is very good about my anxiety. Not belittling or unsupportive, on the contrary I think his helpfulness of obeying my wishes and constantly calling me to update me during his workday just feeds into my anxiety and OCD even more! I know he doesn't realize this... I didn't even realize this until recently. Also because he is in the army he does a lot of field training with weapons and live ammunition and such and whenever he's out training i'm always expecting a knock at the door telling me he's been killed in a freak training accident.

It's ridiculous and I need it to stop! It's taking over my life. I'm 18 weeks pregnant and can't keep living like this, especially when I'll have a baby to look after in a few months time! Has anyone ever experienced anxiety/OCD like this? If so, how did you go about treating it?

[Panicked]

Oh my gosh, you sound so like me! totally different situation, but due to losing eight children to misscarriage, I now panick over my two live toddlers. They are everything to me, and I just fear the worst will happen again. I came so close to losing my eldest as she stopped breathing 7 times in the first two months of her life. They said it was lucky I was a paranoid mother, because if I didnt have the breathing monitors, and literally did not leave her unwatched over at any time - she wouldnt be here. I still suffer wildly from this sort of anxiety in my mind. My children led a normal life, my inside my head im having a panic attack - so im not sure ill be of much use to you.

I witnessed a bad accident involving children a few years back, and because of that im very cautious about cars and car safety (keeping the girls rearfacing till 4years, safest car, good driving, keeping distance etc) and I preach to others who will listen about the safest way to transport children and the safest way to drive. I feel directing my negative energy into educating others is helping me.

Also, My ex husband was in the Navy, every wife worries - But some manage a lot better than others, its so hard with an anxiety disorder. I hope someone else can help you more, you sound like a wonderful and caring wife - I hope he has been on his handfree while on the phone?!?!! ;) x