KnightHawk63
11-02-2011, 02:04 PM
Hey everyone, hope you all are having a good day today so far! Well my names Matt and I'm currently 20, I have suffered from minor anxiety throughout my whole life, always picking little subjects like leaving home for extended periods, riding buses to field trips in schools, and even going to school after I moved to North Carolina 5 years ago. But nothing was as bad as what I've been dealing with for the past 2-3 months.
I have been dating my first girlfriend for 7 months now (8 on the 18th), also she is currently 17, we are in what I can describe a very deep relationship, we both love each other very much and consider each other very good friends at the same time. My anxiety first generated around her when I had heard news that my one friend used to like her a lot at one time, but she never told me about this. This kind of unsettled me one night and she could tell something was up. We had a discussion and she was very scared of something happening between us and she was afraid of breaking up, this also struck the same fear in my heart as well. We never felt this way for the previous 5 months of being together, we just loved each others company and each day was a new experience. For her: all she had to do was vent and then move on, but I feel like I focused on it for the weeks to come until I finally fell apart about a week later. I was with her the whole day that I fell apart, we were at Duke University touring the campus for most of the day, then went to her priests house with her family (they are family friends). While there, her brother was joking around about marriage and at first I didn't know what was going on with me, I started having a panic attack in the middle of the room for what seemed like no reason. After I had it, I broke down and started crying with her, we talked about how much we care about each other, and how we are currently too young to take anything more, so we just have to keep it where it's at for now. This provided comfort for the rest of the night, until the next few days rolled around.
The whole week was torture, I was having panic attacks based on her, break downs or despair, unwilling to do anything. I was a mess. We went to the urgent care center and I was prescribed 20mg Paxil for Anxiety with Depression. I felt great on that for a good 2 weeks, because it really calmed me down but I still felt anxious, but it was manageable. I started seeing a counselor, and a psych, all was well. Then I had a side-effect I didn't want and we switched to Celexa. I was on that for a good 2 weeks and it did nothing, I'm currently on 20mg of Prozac, which has helped with the anxiety attacks, but I still just feel blah. Like I'm living, nothing to go for me. Stuck. It's very depressing. The subject of anxiety and depression keeps changing it seems, jumping from subject to subject based on relationship issues and us. The moment something seems to be the problem, it's not, and it changes focus. Currently I'm focused on that maybe I'm unhappy because I'm so young and in a serious relationship, that maybe I just want to explore instead. Like I HAVE to explore or else I won't be happy. I know this isn't true because I was never like that, I'm not that kind of person. I was so contempt with her and I still am, I just want to be happy with her without feeling like I need to break up with her because I feel it will make me feel better. I get this feeling of breakup just because I think it's the only way out, I know it's not. I know the anxiety will win if I do. I just care about her so much and the thought of her not being with me is just crushing, both thinking about her, and then thinking about my life. Does anyone have any input? Is this a true feeling or just another anxiety? I feel like its anxiety because I NEVER felt this way before, I NEVER felt like I needed other women to make me happy. I'm so confused :(
I have been dating my first girlfriend for 7 months now (8 on the 18th), also she is currently 17, we are in what I can describe a very deep relationship, we both love each other very much and consider each other very good friends at the same time. My anxiety first generated around her when I had heard news that my one friend used to like her a lot at one time, but she never told me about this. This kind of unsettled me one night and she could tell something was up. We had a discussion and she was very scared of something happening between us and she was afraid of breaking up, this also struck the same fear in my heart as well. We never felt this way for the previous 5 months of being together, we just loved each others company and each day was a new experience. For her: all she had to do was vent and then move on, but I feel like I focused on it for the weeks to come until I finally fell apart about a week later. I was with her the whole day that I fell apart, we were at Duke University touring the campus for most of the day, then went to her priests house with her family (they are family friends). While there, her brother was joking around about marriage and at first I didn't know what was going on with me, I started having a panic attack in the middle of the room for what seemed like no reason. After I had it, I broke down and started crying with her, we talked about how much we care about each other, and how we are currently too young to take anything more, so we just have to keep it where it's at for now. This provided comfort for the rest of the night, until the next few days rolled around.
The whole week was torture, I was having panic attacks based on her, break downs or despair, unwilling to do anything. I was a mess. We went to the urgent care center and I was prescribed 20mg Paxil for Anxiety with Depression. I felt great on that for a good 2 weeks, because it really calmed me down but I still felt anxious, but it was manageable. I started seeing a counselor, and a psych, all was well. Then I had a side-effect I didn't want and we switched to Celexa. I was on that for a good 2 weeks and it did nothing, I'm currently on 20mg of Prozac, which has helped with the anxiety attacks, but I still just feel blah. Like I'm living, nothing to go for me. Stuck. It's very depressing. The subject of anxiety and depression keeps changing it seems, jumping from subject to subject based on relationship issues and us. The moment something seems to be the problem, it's not, and it changes focus. Currently I'm focused on that maybe I'm unhappy because I'm so young and in a serious relationship, that maybe I just want to explore instead. Like I HAVE to explore or else I won't be happy. I know this isn't true because I was never like that, I'm not that kind of person. I was so contempt with her and I still am, I just want to be happy with her without feeling like I need to break up with her because I feel it will make me feel better. I get this feeling of breakup just because I think it's the only way out, I know it's not. I know the anxiety will win if I do. I just care about her so much and the thought of her not being with me is just crushing, both thinking about her, and then thinking about my life. Does anyone have any input? Is this a true feeling or just another anxiety? I feel like its anxiety because I NEVER felt this way before, I NEVER felt like I needed other women to make me happy. I'm so confused :(