Anxiety and Catastrophising

[smilesaway78]

Hi everyone.

Now I’m usually a happy go lucky kid of guy. I have a good group of friends, a wonderful fiancée and a supportive family but for as long as I can remember I have suffered at various times in my life awful anxiety and more recently catastrophisating.

If anything goes wrong I always fear the worst, whether that be past girlfriends or stuff at work.

At the moment I have noticed that over the last 12-18 months I have made a few mistakes at work. In my rational mind I know that there is an answer to every problem or another view point. The problems are not huge.

But then my irrational mind takes over, I question my judgement (a decade of experience) convinced that the errors I make will lead to me getting the sack, which will in turn destroy my future and the future plans I have with my partner.

Anxiety has always manifested itself in one particular form for me, I feel sick, get lots of saliva in my mouth and end up with a dry cough which in turn makes me heave and on occasion actually be sick. I remember this happening as a child and I still do it now when I become anxious.

It has got to a point now where it has to stop but I do not know what I should do, or more to the point I am terrified of doing certain things because of my notion that I think the worst outcome is the most likely.

To be fair I have always been a bit of a wuss and tried my hardest to avoid conflict and always hated being told off as a child.

I just want to feel normal in the morning and not feel sick. It all revolves around work as I spent the last week off feeling pretty stress free.

I just don’t know what the next step is… Has anyone got any pointers for me.

Thanks for reading.


John

[Brad72]

Hi Mate. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at the moment.

Dealing the past and sabotaging your future can be very hard to deal with sometimes. I had problems as a child that cause me problems in my adult life. I was able to deal with these with the help of my psychologist using Schema and ACT therapy. Perhaps it might be a positive step for yourself to see a psychologist. Your anxiety mind is obviously giving you some powerful distortions that simply are not true. They will also be able to give you the tools to deal with the anxiety thoughts and get back on track

At work remember that everyone makes mistakes whether they be big or small. As long as the mistake can be learnt from then really it is not a mistake, but a learning process in disguise. But what is likelihood of being sacked? I think you past experience shows you that you are good at your job and not on the chopping block.

I to don't like conflict either so when I know I have to defend myself or push my view I do it on my terms. I chose the time so I am not being ambushed. This way I am calm and in control. I write down what I am going to discuss and rehearse a little. I do not raise my voice or get into an argument because always give me upper ground. If the other party wants to go off on a tangent I will pull them up on remind to keep on track.

Lastly you have to ask yourself if this job is for you. Are you passionate about it or is there something else that you would rather be doing. Sometimes for your own health a change in career can be the best thing for you.