BCS26
10-24-2011, 03:27 PM
I am an 18 year old girl. On my 14th birthday I choked on chocolate so badly my mum had to preform the heimlich maneuver in order for me to breathe again. That night I had my first panic attack. After months of suffering from panic attacks after this incident it seemed to die down and I thought I was fine. However, one evening I had a massive panic attack out of nowhere after I thought I may had been allergic to something. It ended up getting so bad I had to be with someone 24/7 and I refused to leave the house. This was my lowest point after I believed I was allergic to everything that would end up in my throat swelling and closing.
My throat swelling is still my biggest fear today. Whilst I can control it more now than I could before I still feel some nights it's suddenly closing for no reason at all and that I am going to die.
I get so scared I don't want to go out with my friends. I need to know I am in safe hands if anything does happen. I obsess over how close the nearest hospital is/ambulance service etc.
I want to be the person I was before. I want to be able to go out and live my life and not worry over something that is not going to ever happen. My brain believes that one day my throat WILL close and I will never see daylight again. However this day never does come and it never will.
I still can't get rid of this dreaded feeling. I want to be me. Not someone who can't live her life the way she wants after this awful thought being programmed in my brain.
:'(
My throat swelling is still my biggest fear today. Whilst I can control it more now than I could before I still feel some nights it's suddenly closing for no reason at all and that I am going to die.
I get so scared I don't want to go out with my friends. I need to know I am in safe hands if anything does happen. I obsess over how close the nearest hospital is/ambulance service etc.
I want to be the person I was before. I want to be able to go out and live my life and not worry over something that is not going to ever happen. My brain believes that one day my throat WILL close and I will never see daylight again. However this day never does come and it never will.
I still can't get rid of this dreaded feeling. I want to be me. Not someone who can't live her life the way she wants after this awful thought being programmed in my brain.
:'(