Fear
11-25-2006, 07:22 AM
Have you ever felt like your anxiety problem (even just presumed) is not a problem anymore?Like you don't wanna heal anymore??
I'll try to be more clear.I had the symptoms of anxiety disorder (never diagnosed) for almost all the years in high school and even before,I could say for my whole life,thinking about some things.Now I'm 20.Almost two years ago I finished high school.The last years also were signed by social phobia symptons probably.Anyway,I used to worry about things a lot,think a lot,about evrything.About the fact that I woulnd't have been able to find a job and do the things I dreamt to do.I used to feel good only on weekends coz I could stay alone,safe from unconfortable situations.Now it's like I'm fond of all that and I miss it.There are some traits of that that I wanna keep because it's necessary to be a good person,I mean able to solve problems and stuff.I already lost some of that.I'm not sad anymore,I'm happy.Even if I've never been this alone.It's like I give things for granted.I don't feel deep blame.I don't have a job,I don't like lying,but I say everybody I can't find it even if I know I don't really look for it.I already went everywhere last year and nothing happened,no one called me.So now I'm just waiting.Well I don't feel good when I say those things to everybody.It's like I'm giving everything for granted,which I don't like at all.To feel depressed I have to force myself.
I mean I spend my days with my mom to do her all she wants to be usefull in some way anyway,both alone only with each other,seeing no one but the people we see in town when we go buy food,pay bills,ect., but instead of going crazy,I don't give a damn!!
I'll try to be more clear.I had the symptoms of anxiety disorder (never diagnosed) for almost all the years in high school and even before,I could say for my whole life,thinking about some things.Now I'm 20.Almost two years ago I finished high school.The last years also were signed by social phobia symptons probably.Anyway,I used to worry about things a lot,think a lot,about evrything.About the fact that I woulnd't have been able to find a job and do the things I dreamt to do.I used to feel good only on weekends coz I could stay alone,safe from unconfortable situations.Now it's like I'm fond of all that and I miss it.There are some traits of that that I wanna keep because it's necessary to be a good person,I mean able to solve problems and stuff.I already lost some of that.I'm not sad anymore,I'm happy.Even if I've never been this alone.It's like I give things for granted.I don't feel deep blame.I don't have a job,I don't like lying,but I say everybody I can't find it even if I know I don't really look for it.I already went everywhere last year and nothing happened,no one called me.So now I'm just waiting.Well I don't feel good when I say those things to everybody.It's like I'm giving everything for granted,which I don't like at all.To feel depressed I have to force myself.
I mean I spend my days with my mom to do her all she wants to be usefull in some way anyway,both alone only with each other,seeing no one but the people we see in town when we go buy food,pay bills,ect., but instead of going crazy,I don't give a damn!!