Making progress, need suggestions for places to go

[Timmsks]

I'm new here, but have suffered many mental health issues in the past.
Just four months ago, I left my house for the first time in 2 years.

I'm 18, dropped out of school when I was in Grade 9, entered into an Adult Education program to finish my diploma few months ago, started to go out more often, to malls, stores, out for dinner, while still very uncomfortable, I made myself do it. I even went to family BBQ's, which lasts hours.
I'm still slightly on the right track, although, I haven't contacted any of my old friends to get together (really not ready at this point), but I do have my cousin who is 2 years younger than me come over for a good 6 - 12 hours once in awhile.

I'm not where I want to be, I feel myself pulling back in and not branching out to leave more often. I feel stuck, though. I can't drive, so I reply on family to drive me places, I don't even know where to go. I don't want to ask my sister, who has two little ones, to drive me places, it's not her responsibility. I'm not sure I'm ready to get up and leave my front door to go somewhere all by myself. I need to have someone there to preoccupy me when it gets a little difficult. It still gets difficult, which is frustrating.

I would really like to feel more comfortable in public places, I can go to stores easily, even though I feel completely naked. Walmart is avoided, too crowded, too noisy, the lighting makes me nauseous when I panic.

I also try to avoid people my age because I'm so uncomfortable. I don't yet have the courage to be around any of them. I'm still building my confidence. I haven't been around anyone my age in four years. I saw my cousin for the first time in a long time just a month ago.

I'm getting way better, a year ago I wouldn't step out on my front porch to get the mail, now I can go grocery shopping.

It's not all good. I guess you can say I feel like my life is.. hopeless.. meaningless, even. I spend everyday in front of the computer. I try to motivate myself by cleaning, or being productive around the house, bathing even (which was rare at one point in my life, due to depression), but I still feel like my days are wasted in front of the computer, inside the house. I don't feel like I'm going anywhere.

Could you suggest some places for me to go? I'm tired of feeling like my life is spent in the same room, I've been here too long.

[Timmsks]

No replies?

[Schatmeisje]

Wow, you can go grocery shopping ! thats amazing progress as that it my very biggets fear, so you are doing really well. I ubderstand how hard it is when you need someone there to support you when you go somewhere etc (especially somewhere new) and it is VERY hard when you dont have a support group around you available to help you go out when you need to.
I cant drive either, so when my partner is at work, i can get stuck in the house for 4 days at a time, and then it makes it harder when i can eventually go out. I dont know if you are confortable walking by yourself or not? walking is always good just to quickly get out of the house and break up your day a little. I cant walk very far, but i try and do it when i am home by myself .
Another suggestion would maybe be to see if there is a support group in your area at all, as these kinds of groups sometimes have outings etc??? I have only just found one here where i live, but i am not quite brave anough to go out with them by myself just yet , but i am hoping to work on this over the next few months to test myself and try and oush forward a bit more, i am very scared though. I had not been around people for 4 months, and went to one of their BBQ things, and i didnt last too long (only 35 minutes) but that was a huge deal for me, and it was really good as every one there had mental disorders and no one judged me or stared at me while i stood there having several panic attacks in a row and my clothes turned wet with sweat.
I know just how you feel, but please keep going, i am so proud that you went grocery shopping!!!!!!
Another thing that also works for me is tp chat to someone (on the internet of course as i dont really have many real life friends since i became sick) and tell them i want to go out, and they help motivate me, or i will make a deal with someone else with agoraphobia (eg: if you walk to the end of your street- i will walk to the end of mine) and found that works quite well too.
If you need some support or someone to talk to, I am happy to help.x

[surfmonkey]

man i avoid walmart at all costs! the lighting is to intense for me to! try maybe just walking up and down the block alone until you master that. or maybe put yourself in a position where you feel semi trapped and concur that. its normal to have a small set back. its just you getting tired thats all :)

[Penny Jo]

i don't suffer from the same anxiety, but have anxiety with depression which is keeping me in the house more and more and i can therefore relate to feeling like i am in the same room all the time. what i do is a very simple structure for each day based around 'mind, body and soul'. For mind I read to understand the illness, do any cbt or therapy tasks i have been set. for soul i spend time doingsomethingthat i like that makes me feel good even if it serves no purpose - i try to do this in different rooms in the house to 'change the scene' so will limit tv to one hour in the lounge, then read in the kitchen or just lie in the bedroom for a bit - even just a soak in the bath. for body i try get some exercise which at the moment is a walk around the block. Don't get me wrong it is very hard to stick to this everyday and i do not always complete all three tasks. I write the tasks out everymorning on the noticeboard in the kitchen (I prefer to decide what to do when I get up as i know what kind of mood i am in that way), next to it i write that achieving one of the three is the minimum (so i don't feel like a failure if I don't do them all). If i complete three I do feel more positive and 'proud' that i have, for one day at least, coped as a grown up so give myself a treat.

I also find that if i feel ready for the outside world, i.e. showered and clean clothes, i feel more comfortable being outside as i feel that i have prepared for the task and don't tend to focus on the actual 'stepping out the front door' plus I dont feel so awful if i see other people as nothing in my appearence would suggest that I am a wreck inside - I do find that people look at me more if i go out in my house clothes with mad hair and no make up.

Hope some of this helps, good luck and well done for doing so well :)