misunderstood_j
10-07-2011, 07:35 PM
Hi Everyone,
I’m 25 years old and I’ve been living with anxiety for about 3 and half years. The reason I’m here is because I tried to talk to my family and friends about my issues and they just don’t understand what I’m going through. It’s really frustrating. They don’t understand how hard it is for me to keep going some days.
The panic attacks I get include: fast heart beat, short of breath, feel like there is no air, sweating, hot flashes, diarrhea (IBS), nausea, vomiting, blurred vision, paralyzed feeling. (I’m sitting on the toilet, ready to fall over with the garbage pail in my hand!) I believe my anxiety started right after I went through a life altering experience.
Lately my anxiety is acting up when the sun goes down at night time.
Here’s some ways I believe having anxiety has changed me:
• I don’t care about life – I want life to go as fast as possible. I worry about if I’m going to feel good or bad and if I can get through the next day.
• I don’t care about relationships - I had a boyfriend who I wanted to marry now I just don’t care. I feel nothing. I’m emotionally numb. No interest romantically with my boyfriend either.
• I don’t like food – Even my favourite foods I don’t care for anymore because after I eat I feel sick. Food has become tasteless and my enemy. I’m 73lbs and 5’1.
• I don’t go out – I spend all my time in my bed. If I’m not at school or work. I can’t remember the last time I went out.
• I don’t have friends – I don’t really talk to people anymore. Maybe a couple times a year if they call.
• I can’t be in a car with someone else driving – I get so sick whenever someone else drives me anywhere. The highways are the worst. I refuse to get into a car with someone else. I think I’m going to get into a car accident or die. However when I drive I feel ok. However I can’t drive highways.
• I am scared to go sleep – Before sleeping was my safe haven. Now I wake up 2 or 3 times in the middle of the night with anxiety attack, vomiting and diarrhea. I feel like I spend more time in the bathroom being sick than anywhere else.
• I feel claustrophobic – When I use the washroom I have to leave the door open because I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t even wear turtlenecks anymore I feel like it’s choking me. Every though a few years ago they were all I wore in the winter time.
These are just some of the things that I feel changed. A lot of other things changed too but it’s too much to write. I really didn’t know other people go through the same thing I do. I just don’t know how people keep going. I’ve been on some medication but it really didn’t help much. The doctors just want to give me pills. I want to find a way to get rid of it. It’s so frustrating because there is no “cure”. I’ve been doing yoga, mediation and drinking chamomile tea and exercising to help with the anxiety. It does help a bit. I want my old life back. I want to love life again. I feel like I’m misunderstood by everyone.
I’m 25 years old and I’ve been living with anxiety for about 3 and half years. The reason I’m here is because I tried to talk to my family and friends about my issues and they just don’t understand what I’m going through. It’s really frustrating. They don’t understand how hard it is for me to keep going some days.
The panic attacks I get include: fast heart beat, short of breath, feel like there is no air, sweating, hot flashes, diarrhea (IBS), nausea, vomiting, blurred vision, paralyzed feeling. (I’m sitting on the toilet, ready to fall over with the garbage pail in my hand!) I believe my anxiety started right after I went through a life altering experience.
Lately my anxiety is acting up when the sun goes down at night time.
Here’s some ways I believe having anxiety has changed me:
• I don’t care about life – I want life to go as fast as possible. I worry about if I’m going to feel good or bad and if I can get through the next day.
• I don’t care about relationships - I had a boyfriend who I wanted to marry now I just don’t care. I feel nothing. I’m emotionally numb. No interest romantically with my boyfriend either.
• I don’t like food – Even my favourite foods I don’t care for anymore because after I eat I feel sick. Food has become tasteless and my enemy. I’m 73lbs and 5’1.
• I don’t go out – I spend all my time in my bed. If I’m not at school or work. I can’t remember the last time I went out.
• I don’t have friends – I don’t really talk to people anymore. Maybe a couple times a year if they call.
• I can’t be in a car with someone else driving – I get so sick whenever someone else drives me anywhere. The highways are the worst. I refuse to get into a car with someone else. I think I’m going to get into a car accident or die. However when I drive I feel ok. However I can’t drive highways.
• I am scared to go sleep – Before sleeping was my safe haven. Now I wake up 2 or 3 times in the middle of the night with anxiety attack, vomiting and diarrhea. I feel like I spend more time in the bathroom being sick than anywhere else.
• I feel claustrophobic – When I use the washroom I have to leave the door open because I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t even wear turtlenecks anymore I feel like it’s choking me. Every though a few years ago they were all I wore in the winter time.
These are just some of the things that I feel changed. A lot of other things changed too but it’s too much to write. I really didn’t know other people go through the same thing I do. I just don’t know how people keep going. I’ve been on some medication but it really didn’t help much. The doctors just want to give me pills. I want to find a way to get rid of it. It’s so frustrating because there is no “cure”. I’ve been doing yoga, mediation and drinking chamomile tea and exercising to help with the anxiety. It does help a bit. I want my old life back. I want to love life again. I feel like I’m misunderstood by everyone.