feel like im about to relapse :(

[richy1991]

hey all

i have been suffering from anxiety for around 10 months now
i have made alot of progress since it started, i now have a week or 2 of complete normality before my anxiety hightens a little but nothing that i cant handle and then i have more days of normality

however i feel like im going to relapse!

my aniety all started when my girlfriend had to go home after spending a whole 5 days with me, after she had gone i felt like i had lost her and i felt so lonely and i ended up having an attack, all this eventhough i knew i would see her the folowing day. this was my trigger but i also had a fair bit of stress behind me

one of my main stresses at the time was my girlfriend had an abortion, i obviously didnt want this to happen

this stress has caught back up to me and is the reason i am writing this post
i had forgot about the abortion several months ago, put it to the back of my mind but it has came forward again. the reason why is because my sister fell pregnant a few months back and me and my girlfriend were out buying clothes for her, this then sparked a convosation off that night about our abortion and it ended up with me blaming myself for not fighting harder.

since then i have been in such a low mood and alot of things have been adding to my low mood such as a bad cold i have and my girlfriend going back to uni today

also i have been worrying lately about chrismas/new year time because thats where it all started last year for me, im scared that that will make me relapse over the bad momories or even not being fully recovered after a year

i really dont want to relapse for everyones sake, plus iv been doing really well

i feel a lil better after writing this
plus any feedback would be good
thanks
richy

[OtherMed]

Dealing with an abortion can be a BIG deal. The distress you feel about it is completely normal and something that really has to be dealt with.

There's a common view out there that abortions are totally selfish decisions and that when a woman (or hopefully a couple) decide to have one they just feel relieved and move on with their life with no issues. Obviously, this view is extremely ignorant.

If you have negative emotions associated with that experience it's really something that you need to deal with in one way or another. You need to find some reconciliation if it's bothering you.

I don't really know what to tell you about being away from your girlfriend. Except maybe use Skype more, I don't know. Separation in a relationship is usually going to be difficult and cause some stress.

Again, you should deal with any negative lingering feelings you have about that abortion. I don't know if this means seeing a counselor or just reaching some conclusion on your own.

Also, this time of year (at least in this hemisphere) tends to create an increased level of anxiety for a lot of people. I don't fully understand why it's like this but this may play some small role for you. It's very common for people with anxiety issues to have a harder time dealing with this time of year. And it's not the stress of the holidays I'm talking about at all. It's the colder weather that somehow makes anxiety a little bit harder to deal with.

Lastly, as I'm sure you know, stress plays a critical role in making anxiety worse. So I would just give you the advice of watching your stress level to make sure you aren't involved in situations that are going to aggravate your anxiety and cause you to relapse as you said.

[richy1991]

hey OtherMed, thanks for your reply

well both me and my girlfriend are against them, but in the end she got persuaded to have one by her parents, so this is why it hurt me soo much
and my sister bein several months pregnant, just makes me cry, and i know it will get worse for me when it is born
i been to consellors before but they havnt helped, so looks like i am on my own witht this one

yeah i can see where your coming from with this time of year being harder, specially with colds, flus and snowy weather

yeah i know and it dosnt help with me being easily stressed

cheers
richy

[jessed03]

Hey rich.

Sorry to hear about relationship troubles. Unfortunately I have no advice to offer about that, I can only wish you the best in reaching a place that brings you a little peace.

As for relapsing, I'm not sure it happens just like that. I think we constantly grow with an anxiety condition. We learn new things, about it, and ourselves, that we can never unlearn. We can learn ways of coping, and what triggers it, and just because it comes back, it doesn't mean it's back to stay, nor does it mean you've gone backwards. I think over the next months you'll slowly find ways to manage, and remind yourself about the ways in which you've developed as a person.

I think right now you have permission to feel crap. Everybody with a heart would feel the way you do now. Let your body and mind go through the stages it needs to. Don't be afraid to cry, or feel anger. Just make sure these emotions don't consume you (easy for us to say). If you wanna stay in bed for a weekend and forget the world, that's not so bad, you're clearly smart enough to tell when a behaviour is becoming damaging. As OtherMed said, keep a check to make sure stress doesn't get totally out of hand.

Let yourself feel the pain you need to. It'll make you feel crappy for a while, but that's different from a relapse. We're all here to listen if you wanna blow off some steam.

Take care of yourself buddy
J