working on making it through another day on my own...

[alexis7xs]

hi,
i have spent the last couple years working on my anxiety, depression, coda and other mental issues that i have discovered i am bordering on. honestly, my anxiety is what starts the domino affect of all my issues which truly sucks. by joining this forum i hope i can receive support while i am still working through my issues. i wish i could find a sponsor to help me through when life is to much to handle cuz i only have my therapist and 2 friends left to help me through my issues. i just want to be happy and healthy but it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do. i have used EMDR over the last 3 years to help with my anxiety and ive succeeded but have also opened up more doors to problems i never knew i had.

i dont want take pills of any kind which is why i work so hard in therapy, self help books, exercise, yoga, etc.... but im scared i might need them... i have been alone and forced to take carre of myself since i was about 9... and now it feels harder than before i felt more capable and trustful and happy at 9 when my world was exploding daily versus now when its just my mind and emotions exploding daily.

anyways, life is highly challenging rgt now. i have taken a leave from school and am not working so that i may spend the next few months focusing solely on getting control or even a grasp of how to handle myself. i just wish there was a simple answer on how to deal or handle all the horrible things that happen and still be happy.

if anyone has advice or suggestions i am more than happy to hear them. thanks so much for listening.

[Art_Nerd]

Hello, Alexis.

I understand that you don't want to take pills, I don't want to either, and I also feel scared that I'd need them, because it does get really unbearable. When I think of others though, I feel like everyone could be strong enough to overcome anything. It sounds like you're working really hard, and I hope that you'll eventually feel better. I unfortunately don't have any advice to share since I haven't been able to help myself much so far. You mentioned yoga though, I'm going to be trying out yoga soon and I bought a yoga mat last week, how much does it help you?

[alexis7xs]

i think that you have to find the right kind of yoga for you. i didnt like it the first few times, but you have to find the right instructor and style. just a heads up there are at least a dozen different types of yoga. i think hatha is the most common. yoga helps me breathe and take things slower which i learned i desperately need to do. i actually had to learn how to breathe properly cuz i tend to hold my breathe alot and dont realize it like even working out ill hold my breathe and have to have my mate tell me to breathe.

i agree i think after everything ive been through that this is nothing compared to that and i like to think mind over matter like i dont need anyone or anything i can do this, but at the same time thats how ive been since i was 9 and now ive lost so many friends and loved ones that i wonder if that is really working for me anymore. im just so lost inside my own head. ive been put and thrown down so many times that i dont even trust myself anymore. i feel like these emotions im experiencing, there should be some logical way to resolve them; ive read so many books, gone to support groups, filled out workbooks, online searches for nights and days on end, and even went to a center program 10 states away for a few months, yes ive made progress and gotten better, but its still so hard and now im more alone than ever which scares me cuz i think i rather be alone and cut off from the world then have to live in it.

im rambling now, but maybe being more involved online might help restore my trust that there are decent good nature people out there that do wish me well and support me being healthy instead of trying to get me back into the negative, destructive, scary place i was before. if there are i would definitely love to meet them cuz the only one i know so far is my therapist.

anyways, good luck art nerd.... and if u dont like yoga i would try tai chi or any other relaxing exercise they do help you just have to find what works for you.

[j2005]

Alexis; meditate! It has changed my perspective on anxiety

[tpbf]

ALEXIS, Sometimes, depression and anxiety are truly a chemical imbalance and no amount of therapy or support will change it. Consider meds, they saved my life!