Major anxiety over new puppy

[etherial]

Hi everyone. I'm new to this forum but not new to anxiety. I am 34 year-old female and have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I think I had my first panic attack at about 10. I have been on medication for 16 years now and am currently on Effexor-XR.

Like most anxiety sufferers, I have my ups and downs. I have been coping really well for the past 12 months on the minimum dose of 37.5mg but have been up to 150mg in the past. I don't like the side effects of anxiety medication so I tend to keep myself on the lowest dose I can.

Sadly, my boxer dog passed away 5 months ago (age 9) and two days ago I picked up my new boxer puppy. I had been sooooo excited about it for weeks and weeks, but as soon as I got her home, I woke up the next morning absolutely terrified - heart pounding, body shaking, stomach pains (the usual anxiety symptoms). I felt like I had made a big mistake, despite how totally adorable she is. I guess the enormity of the responsibility I had taken on hit home. I got so bad that my parents had to take her for the night last night while I sat at home breathing into a paper bag. I was too overwhelmed by her to even look at her. She is back with me tonight and I am feeling a bit better, though I am still going through ups and downs in my mind about it. One minute I feel fine about it, and then all of a sudden a new way of anxiety hits me and I worry it over in my mind again.

Has anyone else felt this way before about a new pet? It also happened to me with my first dog and the feelings of panic and anxiety did pass (I had 9 wonderful years with her) I just don't remember how long it took for me to overcome them.

I really don't want to have to give back, but I feel sick to my stomach and I'm so afraid that I'm not strong enough to work through this. Is that just the anxiety talking?

Please tell me this is a "fairly" normal reaction - for someone who lives with GA at least.

[Schatmeisje]

Hi, and welcome !! I thin for most of us any big changes can set off our anxiety and our symptoms, i know my dog who sleeps in my bed normally recently came into season and had to be outside for 2 weeks, and it really mucked me aroijd for a couple of days.
You are probably just feeling a bit overwhelmed, as it is a big responsibility, but at the same time you have mananged to look after your previoud dog and get so much joy from having it around.
Plus our dogs always help to keep us happy when we are feeling down which is great for us.
Im pretty much the same age and have GA too, i think this is purely the anxiety talking, and just give it a week and it will all settle down, and you will be able to enjoy your lovely new puppy :-)
Keep remembering you have done this before, and it passed and the good times are on their way xx

[leighs]

I think it's just anxiety. It's a big change to go from having an adult dog to a puppy. Hang in there...it will be ok. Let us know how things go with the little one :)

[Anxiety beater]

Hello there - oh, please don't give her back - she will probably end up being a source of therapy for you! Puppies are exhausting and a huge responsibility, but they're so worth the effort, as I'm sure you already know. Chances are you'll feel enormous loss and regret if you let her go - think of all those anxiety-busting therapeutic walks you'll have together. Enjoy her - your anxiety will pass - it always does!

[etherial]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Still not feeling great. I haven't been able to eat much in the last 4 days which isn't helping. But I do think it will get better. I keep having moments of clarity where I realize it is just anxiety but then a few minutes later, I'm back to thinking "what have i done?". Luckily, my parents who live just down the road are helping me with her until I get myself together. They won't let me take her back because they know I will regret it. And I know they are right. She is the most beautiful natured little thing. I am still waking up with the shakes and can't sit still very long but it does seem to ease by the afternoon. Thanks again everyone, I will let you know how things develop over the next few weeks.

[leighs]

I'm jumping out on a limb here but I once had a dog that passed away and I was devastated. At first I didn't want to get another dog, but we ended up doing so. After the excitement wore off I started to feel guilty because I felt like I was 'replacing' her even though that wasn't my intention at all. It took me a week or so to get over that feeling. Do you think maybe that's what is causing your anxiety?

[etherial]

In a way I think that could be a part of it. I knew the puppy wasn't going to replace my last dog, but I think I did expected my life to go back to the way it was before I lost her. And then reality hit and I awoke to the fact this is a "puppy", not an adult dog, and my life wasn't going to be the same as before. I am going to have to make changes and adjustments to my life and that scared me since I don't deal with change all that well.

I have been feeling much better today. I'm feeling the worst of the anxiety in the morning. It wears off by mid-morning and I think to myself "what on earth were you so afraid of? This is a cute little puppy dog and she is looking at you with big brown eyes filled with trust and love!" I think that was the other thing that scared me - the fact that her life and well-being was now in my hands. Looking after an adult dog is a lot easier than a puppy.

Knowing that I don't handle major change well, I should have foreseen that this would cause some anxiety issues and made sure my physical and mental health was in the best shape it could be in before taking on the challenge. Too late for that but I think things are going to work out just fine anyway. Thank god I have family around me who are always there for me and help me in any way they can until I get myself back on track. The puppy stayed at my parents house for a few nights while I worked on getting my head in the right space (and getting some food in me). Since I am on annual leave, I have been able to spend every day with her at my parents house and gradually get myself accustomed to her being around. She is now at home with me and so far so good. I just hope the morning anxiety wears off soon, although, I do think I am creating that anxiety myself by expecting it.

[etherial]

Thought I would give you all an update on my situation....I stuck it out and beat my anxiety! Sophie (my puppy) and I are doing well. I allowed myself time for the physical symptoms to pass and for my mind to regain its clarity and grip on 'reality'. I cannot imagine how I would be feeling right now had I given her back. Luckily I had family that supported me and understood that although my fears were silly, at the time, they were very real and very frightening to me. Time truly is a wonderful thing.

Anxiety can be such a trickster! It's like a little devil sitting on your shoulder feeding you thoughts and feeling that are simply NOT REAL!

My advise to anyone who faces this situation is to "not" make any rash decisions. Allow yourself "time". Remember that if you live with anxiety, it can often feed and escalate "normal" uncertainties into big black monsters that do not exist! With time and clear thinking, you will begin to realise what is actually happening and your anxiety will pass!

Believe me, you will be sooooo glad you did. I can't wait to come home to my new best friend now.

[leighs]

That is such great news and I am so happy for you!!!

[KimberKatie]

Thank you so much for the update, etherial! I am in the same situation right now that you were in the beginning. I have finally decided to add a puppy to my family, and although it felt so wonderful to start, now the anxiety has taken over. It's so nice to know that you battled through the anxiety and are now happy with your sweet girl.

I have battled anxiety on and off since the age of 15 (I'm now 31). For the past two years I have thought about having a puppy (my first ever!), but have always talked myself out of it. Last year I had a dog lined up to come home and I was so sick with worry the night before that I called the shelter and changed my mind. I am now on anxiety medication and have been feeling great about myself, and having very little anxiety. An opportunity came up to adopt a little puppy and I jumped on it. He doesn't come home until February 16th, but already I am feeling sick with anxiety. I worry that I won't be able to love him, and that I'll be a terrible puppy mom. I have two cats, and I worry that the puppy will hurt them, or they will hurt the puppy. Last night I went shopping for supplies and I think that made it more "real" that it's happening, and I wasn't able to sleep.

I had the thought last night to change my mind and not adopt, but when I think of the fall out from that - it's devastating. And I know it will throw me back into a huge depression. Bringing the puppy home is the right decision for me too, and I just need to tell the anxiety that!!

[Natalia S.]

I came across this because I am feeling the exact same thing. The anxiety monster must not like dogs. I too have been wanting a dog for years and years, since I was 4 to be exact (now 21). I finally got my puppy today, but instead of feeling happy I feel nothing but dread and resentment for the dog. I don't feel like it's my dog! She's so sweet and so well behaved, but I am so overwhelmed with anxiety that I can't seem to enjoy her. Like Etheral said earlier, it works in cycles where I am okay with her one moment and then dreading the next. It is so exhausting. I haven't been able to eat or sleep and I feel like I won't until I stop feeling this way! My breeder has been great and understanding and offered to take her back in a week if I'm too overwhelmed. I just feel empty because I thought this was something I wanted, but now I don't. People make us out to be bad pet parents, when really we're not. I did everything I thought I was supposed to do, but my anxiety is keeping me from enjoying my dog!

[laurandisorder]

How bittersweet.

I really struggled when my dog, was a little puppy. The commitment, the responsibility, the fact that it was so much work!! I resented him for a little while, but now he is almost 2 and no matter what has happened, I have never regretted getting him.

I'm an official cat person and I didn't know how a puppy would affect the dynamic of my two gorgeous cats. I was worried my partner and I were making a decision we would regret, I was worried that the dog would maul one of them, but guess what. He's one of the best decisions I have ever made.

He's an absolute buffoon and LOVES one of the cats an is terrified of the other. My pets are my constant source of comfort, love and and affection.

People can be horribly cruel to animals or neglect them. We anxiety prone people only care too much. Acclimatize yourself to your new dogs and you'll be best mates in no time. Anxiety and panic will not hinder your ability to care for a new pet.

You can do so much fun stuff together; puppy pre school, obedience training, walks, car rides. Having my boy around is a great source of comfort when I feel a bit iffy about doing something.

Good luck with your pups, guys.

(and this is the reason I think I will never have kids!!)

[artgirlnyc]

i have been married for just a few years and these have been the happiest years of my life. My Husband & I have a great relationship and are a great team. I have no idea what made me start looking at puppies online. I've always known I didn't want the responsibility of walking one first thing in the morning or at night. Or feeling guilty for leaving it alone when I went out. Well, we just got a puppy. He couldn't be sweeter, smarter or more adorable. My Husband loves him. I am so glad I found this forum and others like it. I've always had anxiety & not handled change well. I am racked with anxiety now. I can just keep crying. I feel like I've ruined the great thing my Husband and I have because I've added a third party. Every time I think about it my body fills with anxiety. I can't eat and I wake up with anxiety. It really, really helps to hear that these feelings are a natural part of anxiety disorder and that they'll pass. You know I would give it back tonight if I could. Thanks for any help.

[dazza]

>I got so bad that my parents had to take her for the night last night while I sat at home breathing into a paper bag

pmsl! ahhh god... sorry, this cracked me up.

An amusing image of someone shitting themselves over a little puppy.

Imagine what you'd be like if you had go in the army?

lol

[jhunter89]

I've always wanted a puppy since I was a kid but my parents wouldnt let me have one n I thought when I get my own place I'll get one, now I've got my own place with my partner, we are both out at work all day and it wouldn't be fair to leave puppy on it's own all day. I'll have to wait til I retire :( Grrr lol

[Lbrown1687]

I recently purchased a puppy with my boyfriend after talking about it for a long time. When we finally got him, I have had nothing but severe anxiety. I haven't eaten in 2 days, I constantly have the chills and I just feel like I am in a daze. Someone please tell me this feeling will go away and to stick with it. I had a dog my whole life, but recently purchased a house with my boyfriend which is why we got a dog. I am not good with change and it took me months to get used to moving out. Now this dog is making me feel horrible.

[mw0929]

I recently purchased a puppy with my boyfriend after talking about it for a long time. When we finally got him, I have had nothing but severe anxiety. I haven't eaten in 2 days, I constantly have the chills and I just feel like I am in a daze. Someone please tell me this feeling will go away and to stick with it. I had a dog my whole life, but recently purchased a house with my boyfriend which is why we got a dog. I am not good with change and it took me months to get used to moving out. Now this dog is making me feel horrible.

Animals are great companions, especially for those suffering depression and anxiety. My furbabies comfort me so much. I would give it time so you can get adjusted to your dog being there. I'm sure once you get into a routine, you will be fine.

[fearlessartist]

Hi there,
I know this is an older thread, but since I too have 2 new puppies and GA, I thought I'd post. Picked up our babies today. I'm a mess, but I keep reminding myself, "just because I think something, doesn't make it true." Granted, I had to up my meds a tad. I am grieving my sweet Henry, who was fine one day and died the next, suddenly due to an undiagnosed splenic tumor. So puppies are a new and scary prospect. I'm gonna give it my all.

[niftysugar]

Hi there,
I know this is an older thread, but since I too have 2 new puppies and GA, I thought I'd post. Picked up our babies today. I'm a mess, but I keep reminding myself, "just because I think something, doesn't make it true." Granted, I had to up my meds a tad. I am grieving my sweet Henry, who was fine one day and died the next, suddenly due to an undiagnosed splenic tumor. So puppies are a new and scary prospect. I'm gonna give it my all.

Fearless, we just brought home a new puppy on June 8 as well and I saw your post because I was searching to see if this feeling of anxiety will pass! I've always been a little anxious about things but I've never had to be on any medication at all but now I feel like I'm losing my mind. I absolutely LOVE the new puppy and everyone is helping to take care of her but I'm crying every day, my stomach is so upset I can't eat, I can't focus... I'm a wreck! Here's hoping things get better for us both soon!

[chickenlimbo]

Oh wow. I know that feeling and I always wondered if anyone else had felt it. Seven years ago, my cat had kittens and while I was overjoyed, the responsibility and reality were incredibly upsetting for me in a way I never could have anticipated. Hearing their little mews and holding them in my palm filled me with grave anxiety and I couldn't put my finger on what exactly it was. I remember once when no one else was around, I just laid down next to my cat and her kittens and I cried so hard without even knowing why.

Another time, we took in a stray cat after a bad storm. He was still pretty kittenish and incredibly skittish so I kept him in my room overnight instead of putting him out with my other cat. He kept meowing and his meows made me so sad. He was awake all night, just walking under my bed and on my bed and along the length of my body, and I was stricken by the lack of options other than "keep him" and "turn him away" (and turning away an animal in need is impossible to me). I kept thinking about how much better I felt before I knew of his plight and how much I wished the previous days could just come back. I just couldn't imagine what the next several months would bring.

I've thought a lot about those few months since then because I always found it a really strange reaction to what typically for me is nearly euphoric. It happened to a smaller degree when I kittensat for a friend who was in Europe for a month (but I was sort of going through obsessive apocalypse paranoia concurrently so it was slightly different that time). I've narrowed it down to a few things:
- I was suddenly in a role of protection where I really wasn't before. My cat only needed me to feed her and empty her litterbox. And yeah, cat moms are equipped to deal with kittens but now my pet had spawned five new pets and they needed modern care only humans can provide. Again I was feeling that "what do the next several months bring and how will i get the babies through" type deal again.
- Not knowing what was to come in their lives.
- Thinking about all the other kittens in the world and wishing I could help all of them. I get into this weird slippery slope thought pattern that concludes with me wishing I could keep everyone alive and help them not feel pain or at least let them know i love them -- about a lot of things but especially animals.

But the happy ending in both stories is after a while, the feelings went away. What exactly it was that helped, I'm sorry to say I still don't know (i'm trying to figure out because i sure could use it for other issues i've had), but it got better. We gave the kittens to some families and I just housesat for one of the families last month. :) Sadly, I only had a year and a half with the cat we took in because he went missing, which I'm sure you can guess sent my anxiety through the roof for about a month. I miss him so much :\

[heidiz226]

I too have been having major anxiety and panic about getting our family puppy. My husband has had dogs in the past I havent and we want to get one for our daughters who absolutely love dogs. I had post partum after the births of our daughters and its sort of the same feelings. I feel like life is going good, we are on a schedule and bam here comes this little guy. Will I bond with him? Will I like him? My husband says that after 3-6 months or sooner he said you will laugh that you were feeling this way. I am having a hard time sleeping and sweats and stomach aches and not eating much. HELP :( I feel like this is silly and so many people have dogs and dogs thru breeders go so fast!!

[rerem612]

I feel like I'm reading my own story with each post! I am having the same severe anxiety with my new puppy. My husband and I lived in London for 3 years, and I've just recently moved back home to Seattle and he'll be moving here in October. I have been begging for a pug puppy since we got married, so when I got back home in June, I started researching breeders, found one and found a puppy and put a deposit down for him. I've been so excited for him, he's such a lovely little thing. I was hoping my husband was going to be here sooner than October when we got the puppy, but it didn't work out that way. Im living with my parents at the moment, and getting help from my Mom, thank God. we drove a few hours south to pick him, the 12 week old pug puppy, last Saturday. and I have been plagued with anxiety about everything ever since. I had a puppy for a few months a few years ago, but couldn't give her the life she needed so I had to rehome her. And I feel like I need to give this new little guy back to his breeder! He's such a good puppy and I shouldn't be feeling like this, but I wake up and go to sleep each night full of stress and anxiety. I am worried that I'm doing the right things, that he's not ruining my house, that my house doesn't smell like dog, that getting him was bad timing. I can't even remember why I wanted a dog in the first place! I keep trying to remind myself that loads of people have dogs and raise puppies and that I dont have anything to stress about. My family is helping as much as they can and my husband will be here in 6 weeks, but at the moment I am feeling the fight or flight and i just want to fly!

[heidiz226]

I am sorry you are feeling this way.Its been a month now and we are really enjoying the puppy he is sleeping in the guest room in his crate and is sleeping better. I have hired a dog walker for during the day and that seems to make me feel less guilty he is home. My anxiety is gone right now but I realized that I do have situational anxiety and just need to realize change is good. We are really loving him and we were away last weekend and wow we missed him! When we came home he went crazy with kissing and jumping around and I think he even realized we came back he has been calmer? I hope you feel better in the end if you cannot keep him I get it but a dogs love is pretty unique and special.

[stephie_44]

Hello,
I JUST finished going through the same thing with my new puppy- I came here and read these postings and they helped me so much. I wanted to share my experience as well. I'll start off by saying that I am lucky enough where I really don't struggle with anxiety normally. But something about getting a puppy triggered some MAJOR anxiety issues in me, I may not be great with change I'm thinking. Anyway, I got a puppy once in college and was so overwhelmed with anxiety that I sold him within a few days- I needed to make the anxiety go away. At the time I was living in a small single room and it just wasn’t a good time for me to have gotten a puppy in the first place.
Now, I’m married and live in a house with land and am in a great position to have a puppy. I just got one, and never expected to have the same anxiety issues- WELL, I was wrong. As soon as he arrived and he started walking around his new house, I was instantly panic stricken. I was SO afraid that I had just made a huge mistake. I wasn’t familiar with the puppy and he wasn’t familiar with us, and the whole thing freaked me out (A LOTTT) right away. I kept trying to convince myself that I was okay, but the panic and anxiety kept coming in bigger and bigger waves over the next few days. I was such a mess, would cry at random times, (hard), and wanted to sell the puppy and never think of getting one ever again. I was so mad at myself for doing this twice. Every time the puppy woke up, I would freak out because he would want attention and need me, and follow me… I was overwhelmed. The worst part was that my husband was already in love with the puppy, and when I went through this in college, he was my boyfriend at the time. So I was putting him through this a SECOND time, (and had promised him I'd be okay this time around!)- he was very supportive, but I was mad and felt so guilty to do this to him again.

I read these every time I felt the panic come back, and forced myself to stick it out for a week. It only took another day, and I was totally fine- and thinking of getting rid of him now is an unimaginable thought- we love him so much, he is a part of our family now! He’s getting more independent by the day and we got a pen for him so that he has his own place to play, and won’t be at our feet all the time, or roaming around where we have to watch him all the time.

Every day is immensely better and all I can say is sticking it out is the best thing you can do, you’ll be SOO HAPPY you did- -the anxiety is temporary and the puppy is a friend for life: ) Trust me! You will be okay, it will go away! Remember that anxiety makes it difficult to think clearly, and the scenarios and thoughts you are building up in your head get very warped when you’re anxious. Once you have time to adjust, (and your puppy does too), everything calms down and you realize that life isn’t over after all, in fact, it’s only MUCH better now!!!!!!! Even if you don’t consider yourself to be a “dog person” – you will surprise yourself. You can’t be a dog person until you try having one, and you owe it to yourself to give it a real try- you’ll be so happy you did!