of-august
08-25-2011, 10:52 PM
Hello everyone. I haven't really said my story yet... This will be long. I apologize in advance.
On February 26, 2010, one of my closest family members passed away from her fourth account of breast cancer. I occasionally relive the last time I saw her in great detail. I cried at her funeral and haven't shed a tear since. After her death I didn't leave my house for anything but school. My 'friends' didn't bother talking to me during this time. I was alone.
In the summer I became depressed. Seriously considered suicide. I tried talking to my parents, but it was like standing below a gavel in court. They didn't understand they couldn't help me. They thought it was for attention. I promised them I wouldn't be 'that way' ever again.
Anxiety has been around for as long as I can remember. I've had the same symptoms too. A tightness in the center of my chest, not being able to get enough air, sweating profusely with a pounding heart that I can hear in my ears. As a child I was afraid my stuffed animals would kill me in my sleep. Then I was afraid of dark mirrors or being grabbed while alone in the dark. Also I have escape routes in case someone tries to murder me and my family. Now I have attacks over those things, along with the health of my beloved dog (my family jokes about her dying), what I look like/ how I am perceived , and being around many people/center of attention. It's really getting hard to breathe in the most recent ones. My mom thinks it's all in my head.
Also I don't believe in anything. But I pretend to for my family's sake. I also don't show much emotions around most people. Now you know the basis of everything. I'm really trying to ask my parents to seek professional help but I can't seem to get any farther than the tip of my tongue. Is it all in my head? Am I just being a silly 16 year old? I know the answers to these questions but I still fear I'm an attention-seeking monster. Does anyone know how to talk to my parents? Thank you so much for advice in advance!
On February 26, 2010, one of my closest family members passed away from her fourth account of breast cancer. I occasionally relive the last time I saw her in great detail. I cried at her funeral and haven't shed a tear since. After her death I didn't leave my house for anything but school. My 'friends' didn't bother talking to me during this time. I was alone.
In the summer I became depressed. Seriously considered suicide. I tried talking to my parents, but it was like standing below a gavel in court. They didn't understand they couldn't help me. They thought it was for attention. I promised them I wouldn't be 'that way' ever again.
Anxiety has been around for as long as I can remember. I've had the same symptoms too. A tightness in the center of my chest, not being able to get enough air, sweating profusely with a pounding heart that I can hear in my ears. As a child I was afraid my stuffed animals would kill me in my sleep. Then I was afraid of dark mirrors or being grabbed while alone in the dark. Also I have escape routes in case someone tries to murder me and my family. Now I have attacks over those things, along with the health of my beloved dog (my family jokes about her dying), what I look like/ how I am perceived , and being around many people/center of attention. It's really getting hard to breathe in the most recent ones. My mom thinks it's all in my head.
Also I don't believe in anything. But I pretend to for my family's sake. I also don't show much emotions around most people. Now you know the basis of everything. I'm really trying to ask my parents to seek professional help but I can't seem to get any farther than the tip of my tongue. Is it all in my head? Am I just being a silly 16 year old? I know the answers to these questions but I still fear I'm an attention-seeking monster. Does anyone know how to talk to my parents? Thank you so much for advice in advance!