Dreamer
08-23-2011, 06:36 PM
I believe this is anxiety, correct me if I'm wrong. Though I'm pretty sure I know what the problem is, that doesn't mean I'm not scared. Some comfort, advice, etc. would be helpful. So anyway, I should probably get started.
I've always been the type of person to ask 'what if' about anything and everything. When I was around seven years old, I thought I'd be murdered every night. I feared death to the point that I constantly thought my time was running out and my days were coming to an end. However I lived long after that, but the anxiety never ceased to exist.
I remember being five years old when it first happened. A boy had admitted to liking me, causing me to puke. It's normal to get that nervous feeling around someone you like, but I didn't think it was common to throw up. It happened again several years later in fifth grade, when I was invited to my best friends birthday party. Any social event, crush, or big event I had made me vomit.
My parents would tell me I would outgrow it, but overtime it only got worse. Instead of puking once and being done, I'd throwup for a week straight, eating nothing and drinking very little. I'd miss so much school, so many events. I had no social life and kept myself locked up in the comfort of my home most days. My hands constantly sweat and my minds always racing with a thousand different worries. I have my fair share of anxiety attacks as well.
This past month though, my anxiety has taken a turn for the worst. My mind feels hazy all the time. Like I got no sleep at all, almost as if nothing here's real and I'm in a dream. I constantly fear that I'm dying soon and that after this week/month/year, I'll be gone. I can't focus on anything my mind's so fogged up, and I constantly have this really tingly feeling. Like the feeling you get before an anxiety attack/when it's wearing off. One small thought about death or one of my fears, will trigger an anxiety attack; either small or big. My memories going bad and everythings just so confusing. I don't feel here. And I'd honestly rather just die than feel this way anymore. I can't go on living the rest of my life like this. I need serious help. I also looked on the symptom list; I have most, close to all, of the symptoms of anxiety.
I know I need to see a professional. The problem? I'm fifteen years old and my dad's convinced it's all in my head. That there's no anxiety disorder, I'm too young to have one. According to him, this is an exaggeration and there's no use in relying on medication for everything. He keeps holding off on it, but I managed to get him to promise to call tomorrow.
In the mean time, what should I do to relax? And what do you think the doctor will prescribe me? I've heard different things from several people. Stuff like, most psychiatrists will give me medication for depression, not anxiety. Some won't give me certain medications that I may need, due to age. Some won't think anything's wrong with me. From your experience and what you know, what do you think will happen? I'm concerned I'll walk away with no medication to help me, or the wrong one. I'm in tears right now, I just want to feel normal again and not this numb feeling anymore.
I've always been the type of person to ask 'what if' about anything and everything. When I was around seven years old, I thought I'd be murdered every night. I feared death to the point that I constantly thought my time was running out and my days were coming to an end. However I lived long after that, but the anxiety never ceased to exist.
I remember being five years old when it first happened. A boy had admitted to liking me, causing me to puke. It's normal to get that nervous feeling around someone you like, but I didn't think it was common to throw up. It happened again several years later in fifth grade, when I was invited to my best friends birthday party. Any social event, crush, or big event I had made me vomit.
My parents would tell me I would outgrow it, but overtime it only got worse. Instead of puking once and being done, I'd throwup for a week straight, eating nothing and drinking very little. I'd miss so much school, so many events. I had no social life and kept myself locked up in the comfort of my home most days. My hands constantly sweat and my minds always racing with a thousand different worries. I have my fair share of anxiety attacks as well.
This past month though, my anxiety has taken a turn for the worst. My mind feels hazy all the time. Like I got no sleep at all, almost as if nothing here's real and I'm in a dream. I constantly fear that I'm dying soon and that after this week/month/year, I'll be gone. I can't focus on anything my mind's so fogged up, and I constantly have this really tingly feeling. Like the feeling you get before an anxiety attack/when it's wearing off. One small thought about death or one of my fears, will trigger an anxiety attack; either small or big. My memories going bad and everythings just so confusing. I don't feel here. And I'd honestly rather just die than feel this way anymore. I can't go on living the rest of my life like this. I need serious help. I also looked on the symptom list; I have most, close to all, of the symptoms of anxiety.
I know I need to see a professional. The problem? I'm fifteen years old and my dad's convinced it's all in my head. That there's no anxiety disorder, I'm too young to have one. According to him, this is an exaggeration and there's no use in relying on medication for everything. He keeps holding off on it, but I managed to get him to promise to call tomorrow.
In the mean time, what should I do to relax? And what do you think the doctor will prescribe me? I've heard different things from several people. Stuff like, most psychiatrists will give me medication for depression, not anxiety. Some won't give me certain medications that I may need, due to age. Some won't think anything's wrong with me. From your experience and what you know, what do you think will happen? I'm concerned I'll walk away with no medication to help me, or the wrong one. I'm in tears right now, I just want to feel normal again and not this numb feeling anymore.