geo_g
11-11-2006, 06:30 PM
I have so much stress just now and feel so low its unbelievable :cry: I have had anxiety since as long as i can remember and my first numb feeling ( i describe a panic attack as a numb feeling , its what i called it when i first experianced one ) was back in early 1990 ...
well this year I eventually got convinced the doctor to give me extra help , he got me an appointment too see a phsycologist who offered me a place in group therapy , that alone scared me to death , the thought of sitting talking to strangers about my life and life with anxiety ... I was to meet up in january this year but got so worked up and stressed that I just couldnt go ... i got up the morning of the first meeting , got a bath and ironed my clothes then when it was time to leave for the bus ..BOOM... panic attack , just like that i couldnt leave the house , pure fear all through my body , the 'usual' signs ... couldnt breath/no energy in my body/shaking/sweating ... one reason that brought this on was because I had to travel to a hospital , that was bad enough thinking about all the ill people and poeple dying there plus that haspital was where my Mum died just 2 years before that very month , jan 2004 .... I havnt seen my doctor since and have had no contact with anyone about anxiety since ... I have been contacted by the department of social security , te people who pay my benefits and they told me that I have too see one of thier doctors who will asses my illness , i have to travel 25 miles to edinburgh and wait till i get called , i no right now that i have no chance of doing that ... i am literally shaking here just thinking about it ... i have an appointment with my doctor on monday too see if he can write a letter to the dss and try too ask them to come out to see me , I havnt see my doctor since january so i dont know what he will say ????? i even asked him a while back about anxiety and he doesnt even specialise in it , not do any of the doctors at my local surgery , he gives me a repeat prescription that i hand in once a month for heartburn tablets and another pill called propranolol , i have read that these are beta blockers to slow that heart and help too combat heart attacks/agina ... are those pills good for anxiety ??? I feel so let down because I have asked the doctor for help so often and now i get this chance for real help and couldnt go :cry: :cry: :cry:
I started doing something that sounds really stupid but makes me feel safe ... i can take upto 2 propranolol each day but since january and that missed appointment i have only taken one and have saved the other ... i know have a lot in the cupboard in a clear bag ... i get thoughhts of taking them ... that would ease the pain , no more panic attacks , no more feeling low , no more sleepless nights ..... i have had no-one to talk too and i dont know what to do ... i have logged into the chatroom on this site a few times but havnt managed to bring myself to say anything.
i feel so lost ... there was more i was going to put down in this thread but im starting too feel bad ... I need to take a break
geo g
well this year I eventually got convinced the doctor to give me extra help , he got me an appointment too see a phsycologist who offered me a place in group therapy , that alone scared me to death , the thought of sitting talking to strangers about my life and life with anxiety ... I was to meet up in january this year but got so worked up and stressed that I just couldnt go ... i got up the morning of the first meeting , got a bath and ironed my clothes then when it was time to leave for the bus ..BOOM... panic attack , just like that i couldnt leave the house , pure fear all through my body , the 'usual' signs ... couldnt breath/no energy in my body/shaking/sweating ... one reason that brought this on was because I had to travel to a hospital , that was bad enough thinking about all the ill people and poeple dying there plus that haspital was where my Mum died just 2 years before that very month , jan 2004 .... I havnt seen my doctor since and have had no contact with anyone about anxiety since ... I have been contacted by the department of social security , te people who pay my benefits and they told me that I have too see one of thier doctors who will asses my illness , i have to travel 25 miles to edinburgh and wait till i get called , i no right now that i have no chance of doing that ... i am literally shaking here just thinking about it ... i have an appointment with my doctor on monday too see if he can write a letter to the dss and try too ask them to come out to see me , I havnt see my doctor since january so i dont know what he will say ????? i even asked him a while back about anxiety and he doesnt even specialise in it , not do any of the doctors at my local surgery , he gives me a repeat prescription that i hand in once a month for heartburn tablets and another pill called propranolol , i have read that these are beta blockers to slow that heart and help too combat heart attacks/agina ... are those pills good for anxiety ??? I feel so let down because I have asked the doctor for help so often and now i get this chance for real help and couldnt go :cry: :cry: :cry:
I started doing something that sounds really stupid but makes me feel safe ... i can take upto 2 propranolol each day but since january and that missed appointment i have only taken one and have saved the other ... i know have a lot in the cupboard in a clear bag ... i get thoughhts of taking them ... that would ease the pain , no more panic attacks , no more feeling low , no more sleepless nights ..... i have had no-one to talk too and i dont know what to do ... i have logged into the chatroom on this site a few times but havnt managed to bring myself to say anything.
i feel so lost ... there was more i was going to put down in this thread but im starting too feel bad ... I need to take a break
geo g