Ambur
08-04-2011, 02:34 AM
I had someone tell me that this was from anxiety, but I searched it and I also came up with Depersonalization Disorder, which sounds like that could very well be it, but it doesn't have exactly what I'm feeling.
Often times I find myself unable to recognize things. Myself, even. Sometimes I will look in the mirror and I won't even know that it's me. I have a best friend that knows me inside & out and I know them just as well, but recently I'll look at them and I honestly won't even recognize them, but I know who it is deep down. Sometimes I'll even look at them funny, I guess, and they'll ask me what's wrong, but I'm too embarrassed to tell them that "oh lol oops, sorry I didn't recognize you for about twenty minutes while eating dinner with you on the couch like how we do every week." But it feels like I don't even KNOW them. Like I don't know anyone. And when that happens, I don't even know myself.
I feel apathetic and I know that I should be worried, so I tell myself that I am, but I don't feel like I am.
I also don't recognize my surroundings either, sometimes. Like, I will feel as if I don't know where I am, but I know where I'm going. It's pretty hard to explain, really.
I think with that, though, is I made a big move a year ago the 23rd of August. From California to Connecticut, due to parental abuse. When I was younger, I had quite a few traumatic events occur up until I left to go out on my own which was two months after my eighteenth birthday. I just turned 19 this last May. So, I am young and I'm sure that all the stress from this may have something to do with it. And I'm almost positive the whole 'not knowing where I am thing' is because of the move. Because sometimes I will be in like, Walmart and I will just suddenly realize like, where am I? I'm in Connecticut? Since when?
But the thing with the people that I know and with myself is what bothers me the most.
Another thing is that I feel detached and disconnected from everything. When I'm at work, I'll often feel that I'm watching myself in a movie. Even when I'm out with people I feel like that sometimes.
I never feel comfortable anywhere and I just get very anxious.
It does scare me, really, when I do think about it.
And I want to see someone for it, but I honestly don't have the money for that at all.
So, here I am, resorting to a forum. I hope you guys can help me figure it out, even if you can't, I appreciate the reads and it was a good ranting, I suppose.
Thank you~
-Amber
Often times I find myself unable to recognize things. Myself, even. Sometimes I will look in the mirror and I won't even know that it's me. I have a best friend that knows me inside & out and I know them just as well, but recently I'll look at them and I honestly won't even recognize them, but I know who it is deep down. Sometimes I'll even look at them funny, I guess, and they'll ask me what's wrong, but I'm too embarrassed to tell them that "oh lol oops, sorry I didn't recognize you for about twenty minutes while eating dinner with you on the couch like how we do every week." But it feels like I don't even KNOW them. Like I don't know anyone. And when that happens, I don't even know myself.
I feel apathetic and I know that I should be worried, so I tell myself that I am, but I don't feel like I am.
I also don't recognize my surroundings either, sometimes. Like, I will feel as if I don't know where I am, but I know where I'm going. It's pretty hard to explain, really.
I think with that, though, is I made a big move a year ago the 23rd of August. From California to Connecticut, due to parental abuse. When I was younger, I had quite a few traumatic events occur up until I left to go out on my own which was two months after my eighteenth birthday. I just turned 19 this last May. So, I am young and I'm sure that all the stress from this may have something to do with it. And I'm almost positive the whole 'not knowing where I am thing' is because of the move. Because sometimes I will be in like, Walmart and I will just suddenly realize like, where am I? I'm in Connecticut? Since when?
But the thing with the people that I know and with myself is what bothers me the most.
Another thing is that I feel detached and disconnected from everything. When I'm at work, I'll often feel that I'm watching myself in a movie. Even when I'm out with people I feel like that sometimes.
I never feel comfortable anywhere and I just get very anxious.
It does scare me, really, when I do think about it.
And I want to see someone for it, but I honestly don't have the money for that at all.
So, here I am, resorting to a forum. I hope you guys can help me figure it out, even if you can't, I appreciate the reads and it was a good ranting, I suppose.
Thank you~
-Amber