Am I the only one?

[viennarose]

Hello I am new to this forum, and I am hoping I'm not alone in this one. I've had general anxiety for 4 years now and in the last year have developed severe agoraphobia. Im terrified to not be around a bathroom in case I have an "accident". :(

Its become so bad I can barely walk down the block now. Thank god I have an extremely supportive boyfriend who doesn't make fun of me and will stop if needed.

Anyways, just wanted to know if anyone else has this phobia and what helped if.

Fairly afraid of medicine so not sure if I could handle anti anxiety meds.

[tommyf]

Hi Viennarose,
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. A friend of mine had such bad anxiety she couldnt even look out of the window, let alone walk round the block so there are many many people who feel just like you do. I had OCD for about 10 years and I was so scared of the world. I will tell you how I got rid of it, it doesnt matter how anxiety manifests itself, it all comes down to fear. Anxiety is just a survival mechanism whatever you do dont "hate" it, its trying to help you by keeping you safe but the problem is, it gets way out of control. Why? Because we feed it, we feed it by engaging with it and worrying even more. Think of it as a bully, why do people bully? because deep down they are scared themselves. The worrying thoughts you are getting are like the bully poking you and when you react to them by thinking " oh no what if that happens, or this could happen, wouldnt it be terrible if......" you are feeding it, and what happens when the bully gets a reaction? it keeps on bullying!!! I had an amazing cognitive behavioural therapist and he helped me so much just by this simple idea. The worrying thoughts you have are from your subconscious mind, part of all the negative conditioning that we pick up from everywhere in our lives. They are only thoughts, how much of all the thoughts your mind has given you have come true? This is how you beat it: 1) Stop reacting to the negative thoughts and stay anxious instead, let the emotion in and just sit with it, its hard but it will pass I promise. The idea is to take the reactive energy out of it and once you stop reacting to it it will eventually get bored and leave you alone. Yes, it will probably pick on something else to try and scare you but again, let it, it is only a thought in your mind and it will pass. 2) There is nothing you can do about the past and worrying about future events just makes you feel shit so try to stay in the now!!! Your mind will try to pull you back and forth between past and future but just gently bring it back to where you are now. This takes practice but is something you can do all the time and it is so beneficial towards helping with the anxiety. Also if you are getting loads of horrible thoughts saying this or that might happen, a good way to ground yourself is to say "here and now, at this moment, I am safe" because you are!!! You might "feel" shit but that is your body reacting to your negative thoughts!!! 3) Look for things in your life you are thankful for, as much as you can, even if you cant feel it, it doesnt matter, just do it as it breaks up the flow of anxiety and there are so many things to be thankful for!! Even just the fact that you have fresh water coming out of the taps is something to be thankful for. 4) Watch how you talk to yourself, if you are critical and harsh on yourself this again is that negative condtioning, dont be hard on yourself for being hard on yourself, just let the thoughts go and ask yourself what you would say to your best friend in the same situation and say it to yourself!
At the end of the day, life is uncertain, we dont know whats going to happen but fearing what might happen is not living.
Stop reacting to the thoughts, they are not who you are, initially its tough but it gets easier.
Let me know if you have any questions
Love
Tx