hey! i have a few issues and i'm not quite sure where i fit in.

[catcherintherye]

Hey there, I'm 19 and I'm female. I am in university and I've had anxiety problems probably since high school. The more I think about it, I think it stemmed from being bullied, although it wasn't all that bad, just hurtful to me.

So I have a couple of things that trigger my anxiety, which usually causes me stomach aches and sometimes nausea. Sometimes I can't eat, etc.

The main issues I have are romantic situations, where I can't be one on one with a guy without feeling sick if I like him OR if I think he likes me. Otherwise I'm a mess!

Secondly, I can't stand to walk around alone at school and sometimes in public places like the mall. I am very independent and like to do these things on my own, however I feel like everyone is staring at me, judging my looks, my clothes etc or saying bad things about me (even if they don't know me). I get really nervous in class if I don't sit with people I know, I feel awkward and again like people stare. It's worse with seminars (smaller classes of 15-30 students for in depth discussions/assignments) because I have a fear of asking or answering questions if I'm not with someone I know.

New situations and places also make me nervous because I'm always wondering what will happen. Especially when it comes to work as I work for a company that doesn't have a set location. So unless I've worked in that area before, I get really nervous/anxious and feel sick.

Another problem, which I think is the most normal, but when a friend or family member is mad at me my stomach churns and I feel guilty and responsible (even if I'm not). Sometimes I can't eat until the problem is solved, etc.

I also find myself to be very emotional if I talk about any problems I have or even think about them. I honestly can't tell someone what's wrong without bawling or crying a lot and I wish I could tell someone things without the need to cry.

This was totally longer than I expected it to be. But if you have any idea what my anxiety might be categorized as or if you have any suggestions to help. Or you just wanna talk to me. Then drop a line (: I don't bite...most of the time :P

[Marlow]

I know exactly what your saying. Im a university student also and had trouble in smaller, discussion based classes. I found that sitting near the front of the class for those types actually helps me think that people aren't behind me, (worked for me, might not for you), I found out it therapy that Im REALLY in tuned to body language so if I see someone looking at me or laughing or something I get REALLY nervous, so I found that sitting in the front helps that.

I find the same thing going on with family and friends, I always feel a need to confront people if they are picking on others or just being dicks but I also get really nervous and feel guilty or angry and kind of loose it emotionally. My need to stand up for myself and my low esteem going into the argument often leave me feeling shitty.

Im a 21 year old guy looking to fix the same things your going through, and Ill tell you what, this site helps. Get to know people and take advice from people who understand you, a therapist can listen to you and help you find those coping mechanisms, but only people who TRULY understand will be able to give you the support you need, and you found it!

Marlow

[catcherintherye]

I think you're totally right, finding people who can relate to you on a personal level, not just try to understand what you're going through is so much more helpful.

And what you said about body language definitely describes me, I'm a very observant person so when I see and hear things I automatically assume that they're talking/laughing at me. This gets even worse for friends that I make [new ones vs. old ones] because I assume they don't like me through very small actions, that may mean nothing to them.

As for sitting in the front, I'll have to try it, but I find when I do and I'm by myself I feel like everyone is staring at me and what I'm doing [even though I know full well that no one is probably caring what I'm doing].

Moving on haha, I just wanted to say thank you for the advice/support!

[catcherintherye]

I do have someone to talk to, thankfully. My mother is very supportive and is always there for me when I need her and I do have close friends I can go to, I just can't manage to speak about what bothers me without crying and I hate that. I hate being seen as 'weak' even if I know deep down that crying isn't weak, but rather normal.

I'm sorry to hear that Kev, and thank you for the advice. I always try to keep in mind those types of 'truths' but whenever I'm in a situation and tell myself those things it doesn't seem to help because the anxiety has already settled in.

I have an appointment with my doctor next week and I plan on speaking to her about all this as well!